i'm moving to a new journal.


ARCHANGEL


comment me there to be added ;-;
♥


i just needed change.

Well, I've been thinking for the last, oh, day or so and I'm curious on all of your opinions on me so far. You can be as expressive as you want to be, you can even tear into me. Whatever suits your fancy, really.

This post is public for a reason. It's so that even the people that aren't on my f-list can comment to me and say what they want.

Why I'm doing this will be explained later. I'm just really curious on what your opinions are of me and what I can do to change myself and keep our friendship afloat.

I thought this idea was neat!

character :
where from? :
in a few sentences, why do i remind you of this character? :

Comments are screened!

Should be in bed, wtf. ;.;

‹CODE GEASS› → C.C.

‹FRUIT BASKETS› → SOHMA AYAME

‹FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST› → EDWARD ELRIC

‹TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN› → KAMINA

‹KINGDOM HEARTS› → RIKU

‹REVOLUTIONARY GIRL UTENA› → TENJOU UTENA

‹XXXHOLIC› → ICHIHARA YUUKO

‹YU-GI-OH!› → DARTZ

Since there seems to be a semblance of normalcy around here, I'm not going to revive my old positivity meme that I did a few months back. Instead, I'm going to do a whole new type of meme. So, with that out of the way... here's the meme!

« THE 2008 SCRIBBLD FRIENDSHIP MEME! »

Now, with all the negativity and shit storms and accumulating crap that just spilled over and bled all over the place, I thought that a change in the positive direction would be really good for all of us. With that said, I decided to make this meme after some thoughts about it.

1) You post your username. And you can also do it anonymously. ♥
2) Your friends will tell you just why they cherish you as a friend or maybe something more.
3) Then you pass it around!

Come, let's all feel the love once more!

<center><B><font size=3><a href="http://www.scribbld.net/users/eevee/35220.html">« THE 2008 SCRIBBLD FRIENDSHIP MEME! »</b></center></font></a>

ALSO YOU GAIZ:

I'm going to be on Hiatus for quite a while.
Contact:
Mogitha@Gmail.com
Mogitha @ Deviantart.com
Mogitha @ Myspace.com
Mogitha @ Gaiaonline.com


I love you all.

After spending time with him (he's gone now) plus recent observations as of late and I have decided to abandon blogging altogether with the exception of my LiveJournal as it's connected to people I know IRL and my LostJournal, as it will be my main journaling source.

Here's why.

When I spent time with him, he was completely different in person than he was online. I, on the other hand, had not been any different. I was exactly how I described myself both in my journal and in IM chats. I had not undersold nor oversold myself. He had done the latter, and I was met with a bitter disappointment.

This has discouraged me from making serious online friendships, mainly because I knew him for three years and we talked daily, far more than I've talked to anyone on here, because I feel like while I am being honest, if one of my own best friends is not on purpose deceiving me then how can I know how true a person actually is in person?

You can't.

Not to mention that once I get to China I won't have time anyway.

So... take care, everyone, and be safe and strong.

(Yes, this was partially inspired by the comments in my last post, but mainly inspired by those around me and something I've wanted to get off my chest for a while)

Why do people judge what they don't understand?

I tell people that in Asia I would be considered fat and that is why I don't feel like going out to eat or don't eat as much as everyone else. Then they hate on China, but continue fangirling or fanboying Japan like it's any different. NEWSFLESH: it's not. If you go to an East Asian country, they are all of the exact. same. prejudice that Americans are fat because guess what? We are the SECOND FATTEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. 1 in 4 Americans is obese. Not fat. Not chubby. Obese. This is a FACT.

I have a Chinese friend who is 120 lbs and 5'8" and her people call her fat. If she went to Japan, they would say she's fat too.

When I was in Taiwan and Japan, I got the exact same treatment as I did in China, and anyone who spends considerable amount of time in Asia would realise the same thing. It doesn't matter if it's Korea or Thailand or Indonesia: if you aren't a stick, you are fat.

Is it unhealthy for Asian countries - not just China! - to be like this? Yeah. I do think ALL Asian women are obsessed with weight more than they should be. If you buy any Japanese fashion magazine (with the exception of Lolita as they're more for making your own clothes than buying them), the end of the magazine is full of ads for two things: one is breast enhancement. The other is losing weight, and there are way more ads for losing weight than breast enhancement.

But what bothers me is that it seems like it's okay to hate on them for making a true statement: in America, it is more culturally acceptable to not be thin than it is to be thin in Asia. Here, we have people who say "big is beautiful". In Asia, if you said that, people would laugh in your face. So, why else wouldn't they say, "It's okay that you're fat because you are American"? They think it's a part of your culture to eat greasy fast food. If you don't want them to have that prejudice, then you had better start changing something because they get that opinion from our movies and our TV shows that they can rent and buy off the street.

I just get so angry because people seem to worship Asia, especially Japan, like it's this perfect place and has this awesome fantastic culture and it's soooo wonderful and yet they don't want to see that they have flaws but it's okay to hate on China because China has issues and never mind the fact that without China, half of Japan's culture wouldn't even exist as the Japanese even got silk, kimono, tea ceremony, rice, their writing system, and their religious and philosophical thinking FROM China. Most everyone BORROWED from China, so if you want to hate on China, then you'd better hate on the rest of Asia too, because if it wasn't for China's existence, especially in the early Tang Dynasty where trade opened and people flooded in from Korea, Japan, Vietnam, etc to learn of the Chinese way then a lot of the culture you have today that you think is "sooooo cool" wouldn't exist.

So please. Learn that people are different than you and just because they have different mindsets than you doesn't mean you should just disapprove, because there's a reason behind it and you're not even bothering to look for it.

EDIT: I decided to disable comments as I've come to an epiphany today about some things and I shouldn't be posting anyway, but didn't want to delete my post.

Pardon my dust; I took down my userinfo because I'm working on a new one and my layout isn't that great. I took coding I'd used on another journal on GJ (an RP journal, actually) so I need to work out the colours and get a header and change the word for the comments and blah blah blah yada yada yada.

Today I take him back to the airport and he goes home. Of course I'm disappointed that it didn't work out, but I feel a bit... cheated out of a great many things and very disappointed. The only thing I'm looking forward to now is when Paine's parents leave and I will be staying over at her house while they're gone. I'll get to get away from my parents and have some peace and quiet before I head back to Shanghai.

I haven't been exercising or eating well while he's been here, so I need to get back on the ball with that once he leaves. I do not want to go back to Asia and be called "the really pretty fat girl" or hear "it's okay that you're fat because you're American." Worst part is that here no one really understands because by American standards I am not fat... just average. But by Asian standards... dear god. And besides, I don't want to miss out on the shopping.

I had to go back to my university yesterday to re-apply for graduation. It was really annoying having to drive two hours there and two hours back, but for the sake of my degree it's worth it. I'm in the clear and I'll get my degree at the beginning of next month.

I really hope I can find a way to get a job in Shanghai. Usually they don't let you even have a part-time job with a student visa but it's been done before. However, the Chinese police have been cracking down on those who accept part-time jobs as English teachers. In fact, a lot of my American university classmates who had settled down in Shanghai are having issues because they changed the law; you have to be 25 to get a working visa. Most of them are either 23 or 24 so they will have to leave China soon. D:

I'm sure life will work itself out.

I forgot to mention this on here: I've purchased my plane tickets to Shanghai, and I'm quite happy about that. Here's my flight info:

Wed, Aug 27, 2008 - Detroit, MI (DTW) to Shanghai, China (PVG)

United 0365
Depart: DTW (Detroit) 8:13 AM
Arrive: ORD (Chicago) 8:30 AM

<<< connecting to >>>

United 0835
Depart: ORD (Chicago) 10:24 AM
Arrive: PVG (Shanghai) 1:55 PM
Arrives next day

I can't wait to go back and start my life there. I could use a clean slate, really.

Yesterday I had a biopsy to test for cancer in the cyst in my thyroid. It was rather painful. D: I'll know the results tomorrow.

I am alive.

We had the "let's just be friends" talk and it went well. Other than that, I'm exhausted.

...it's not going well. I'm not going to elaborate on here, but it really is a disaster, and I don't know what to do with myself.

Lyrics from The Bravery's An Honest Mistake are running through my head. 'I swear I never meant for this/ I never meant/ don't look at me that way/ it was an honest mistake'

The moral of the story is this: don't think that you know someone so well online that you will get along perfectly in person. I've met friends online and met in person and it worked out great. This... is a disaster, it really is.

Gosh.

Less than 24 hours now. I should be in bed as I am very tired but I just keep thinking. He texted me earlier...

Him: Less than a day, Yuna! <3
Me: I can't wait to see you. <3
Him: Less than 3. ;P

The... 'less than 3' thing is in a reference to the little "<3". If you take it apart, it's the 'less than' sign (<) and then 3, and he said to me once, "I less than 3 you" and it just... stuck. ^^;;

Anyway, I wanted to distract myself by showing you all pictures of China. My newest friends have expressed interest in seeing China, so here we go! Some of these are from 2007, some are from 2005, some were taken by me, others by my classmates who also attended the trip.


The view outside my window every day in Shanghai when I lived on ECNU campus.

( Click here for the rest of the visual mini-tour of China, namely Shanghai )

Okay. I'm going to go to bed. Hopefully my nerves will have calmed and I'll actually get sleep. Take care, everyone!

...tomorrow, I go to the airport and pick him up.

We finally talked over the phone, I finally talked to his mum, and now...

This is it. It's happening.

Oh my goodness.

I have no idea what to do with myself. I'm a bit upset with Applebee's because they changed our paydate and company out of nowhere so everyone only got half a paycheck last time and I don't get paid until Wednesday. I was going to go shopping tomorrow and possibly get my nails done (shush, I know he doesn't care, but it makes ME feel pretty, darn it!) but I am so broke it's stupid. Thx, Applebee's.

I'm probably going shopping anyway for at least a couple of outfits and then at 3 p.m. I will be at Rikku's house and then we go to the airport together...

I'm nervous.

...I'm gonna go back to playing DDR now.

Been playing DDR on Heavy mode even though I'm not really that far advanced on it (though it is kinda forcing me to be better anyway) through workout mode so it counts calories and there is no "LOL GAME OVER YOU FAIL" bit.

I've burned almost 700 calories so far.

Glee. :D

My goal is to play for at least an hour a day on Heavy mode even while he is here. Speaking of him, I was panicking earlier because he's only 18 (turning 19 in September) and... for most hotels, you have to be 21 to check in, and those that allow you to be 18 are at rates that are ridiculously high. So, I was very worried he'd have no place to stay after flying in from central Canada to Michigan, but I remembered at the last second that my cousin works for a very large hotel corporation in the area. She gave me her family & friends code and guess what?

He can stay in my hometown at a four 1/2 star hotel for $59 a night without issue. If his age is an issue? My cousin knows the general manager and will make arrangements.

...He is DARN lucky. Seriously. I was super worried.

His plane comes in at 4:15 p.m. to Detroit on Monday. He's calling me tonight. I am very, very excited and yes, very nervous. But we're going to have a blast and have the time of our lives, I know it. ♥

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of Scribbld?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the "world peace, etc." malarkey) - what are they:
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school:
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

...until he comes. I'm so super nervous and yet so super excited. I need to go shopping soon ~

Today, I need to clean my room (books and old classwork are lying around everywhere), play DDR (I bought a dance mat and the original DDR Max yesterday), memorise this techpara dance routine, possibly swing by Mirai and pick up the newest edition of any gyaru magazine (though I'm kinda broke right now and since they're imported from Japan they're a bit expensive), and put together my Hebrew flash cards.

I'm not looking forward to working tomorrow with she-who-shall-not-be-named. I swear, this girl honestly thinks she's the hottest thing that ever appeared in Michigan and that EVERYONE is jealous of her (she proclaims this every time I work with her). To me, she just looks like any other girl I've see in the mall and doesn't strike me at all as anything special. One of my other co-workers, however, the one who's competing in the Miss Michigan contest... now SHE I wish would conduct a class in beauty and all-around confidence. She isn't mean, she isn't nasty, she has a genuine all-around beauty. She-who-shall-not-be-named should take a page out of her book and realise that the more she flaunts about that she's "sooooo hot," the uglier she becomes. Confidence is one thing, but this... ugh.

I really wish I didn't have to work with her anymore. I'd rather work nights than endure her ish.

Alright, I should get going. Now is the time to snag the TV for DDR!

I want to know why people think that making fun of other people and bringing others down is an acceptable way of feeling better about oneself. Wouldn't it be more beneficial to just... work on yourself? If a person has THAT much self-confidence and assurance, then they wouldn't need to feel the need to make fun of other people or even go so far as to make graphics with people's personal pictures. If the people who are making the flames are "so awesome", then... they wouldn't feel a need to do such a thing. They would be so awesome that they would actually spend their time improving themselves instead of bringing others down.

Really, if you were that high up the mountain, so to speak, why would you climb all the way to push someone? You'd just have to climb back up. Is it worth it? Not really.

Maybe... no one's actually climbed the mountain because they're too afraid to work on self-improvement and it's easier to push someone around at the bottom than it is to climb.

That's really sad.

I feel sorry for a lot of people right now.