Premades

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The Closeted Action Star
(On-screen: blowing stuff up. Off-screen? Blowing the production assistant.)
  • The Born-Again Christian is The Closeted Action Star’s beard.
  • The Fashion Snob and The Disney Star sold out The Closeted Action Star to the media
  • The Closeted Action Star has a heart! after all, he took a bullet and slept with his friend The Second Fiddle so she could have the baby she's always wanted.


    • The Scientologist
    (The power of Xenu compels you!)
  • The Scientologist and The Kabbalah Convert are sleeping together; the constant religious debates turn them on.
  • The Sci-Fi Sweetheart has been trying to hook up with The Scientologist for awhile now.
  • Whoops! Looks like the next time The Plain Jane Funny Girl sends naughty pics to The Scientologist she'd better not hit 'send all' instead.


    • The STD
    (We hear he's got herpegonnosyphilaids.)
  • The 14:59 is so desperate to stay in the news, she’s been trying to sell her own naked pictures, which were taken by The STD.
  • The Casting Couch Slut went to The STD for directions to the clinic after a late night encounter with The Wannabe Politician.
  • The Brainless Beauty has bumped uglies with The STD, The Famous and Unfunny Comedian, and The Narcissistic Egomaniac but draws the line with The Annoying FBR Singer.


    • The Wannabe Politician
    (Please, just stick to acting!)
    • The Wannabe Politician and The Pretentious Musician once got in a fist fight over illegal immigration.
    • The Casting Couch Slut went to The STD for directions to the clinic after a late night encounter with The Wannabe Politician.
    • The Wannabe Politician and The Political Activist are starting a charity together.


    The Stuck on Broadway
    (He just can't seem to break into mainstream, sigh.)
    • The Stuck on Broadway tried to form a relationship with The It-Girl for the sake of his career.
    • The Stuck on Broadway is trying to get his big break into movies but The Aging Soap Story will make sure that doesn't happen.
    • The Indie Movie Queen has been blackmailing The Outspoken TV Star by using her fling with The Stuck On Broadway against her.


    The Failed Drug Test
    (Looks like this guy'll be on the bench awhile!)
    • The Thrice Rehabilitated, The Failed Drug Test, and The Cokewhore are in talks to star in a rehabilitation reality show
    • The Failed Drug Test and The Famous and Unfunny Comedian like to engage in illegal activities on their off time.
    • While The Recovering Alcoholic is taking The Pill-Popper under his wing to help her get clean, she's too focused on The Failed Drug Test and his connections.


    The Famous and Unfunny Comedian
    (Seriously, how did this guy get 'discovered'? And why do people still pay to see his movies?)
    • The Famous and Unfunny Comedian is pining after The Stereotypically Chubby Chick.
    • The Failed Drug Test and The Famous and Unfunny Comedian like to engage in illegal activities on their off time.
    • The Brainless Beauty has bumped uglies with The STD, The Famous and Unfunny Comedian, and The Narcissistic Egomaniac but draws the line with The Annoying FBR Singer.


    The Pretentious Musician
    (No one thinks this guy is more important than he does!)
    • The Wannabe Politician and The Pretentious Musician once got in a fist fight over illegal immigration.
    • The Laid Back Leading Lady is the inspiration for The Pretentious Musician's biggest hit.
    • The Pretentious Musician and The Self-taught Musician are reportedly working on a song together.


    The Self-Taught Musician
    (Natural talent wasn't hard to come by for this guy!)
    • The Self-taught Musician isn’t as self taught as he claims – he took secret lessons from The Triple Threat
    • The Shut Up, Don't Sing and The Self-taught Musician are working on a track together.
    • The Pretentious Musician and The Self-taught Musician are reportedly working on a song together.


    The Narcissistic Egomaniac
    (Forget moviegoers - he's his own biggest fan.)
    • The Narcissistic Egomaniac has been trying to get himself on the cover of one of The Romance Novelist's books.
    • The Brainless Beauty has bumped uglies with The STD, The Famous and Unfunny Comedian, and The Narcissistic Egomaniac but draws the line with The Annoying FBR Singer.
    • The Foreign Import and The Narcisstic Egomaniac use the same therapist.


    The Soap Opera Stud
    (We'd set our tivos to catch his daytime drama anytime, mmm.)
    • The Soap Opera Stud is leaving Hollywood for the world of hip-hop to work with The Shut Up, Don't Sing
    • The Soap Opera Stud secretly thinks that The Foot in Mouth Disease is adorable and charming.
    • The Soap Opera Stud will do just about anything to stay on top, and if that means starting a rumor that The Asexual Actor is going to be starring in a film with The Former Porn Star, then so be it.


    The Buddhist
    (He went to India in college and never looked back. Namaste!)
  • The Buddhist is still hung up on his ex, The Friend-to-the-Fans, despite her affection for The Political Activist.
  • The Buddhisthas been trying to cover up his jealousy over the success of The Sexy, Untalented CW Actor's show.
  • The best orgasm The Domestic Goddess ever had was courtesy of The Buddhist Om? More like mmm!


    • The Male Romance Novelist
    (We hear he's got a feud going with Nicholas Sparks)
  • The Male Romance Novelist leaked the rough draft of his anticipated new book to The Viciously Bitchy Blogger rather than close friend The Intrusive Reporter.
  • The Overshadowed Sidekick was the basis for one of The Male Romance Novelist's most famous characters.
  • The Enigmatic Author rejected The Male Romance Novelist's offer to collaborate on a novel.


    • The Enigmatic Author
    (Someone tell him to drop the mysterious act! He's not a character in one of his books.)
  • The Enigmatic Author stole the twist ending to his most popular book from one of The Romance Novelists' unpublished manuscripts.
  • The Model-turned-Actress had better hope that The Second Fiddle can keep a secret after she walked in on her and The Enigmatic Author getting down and dirty.
  • The Enigmatic Author rejected The Male Romance Novelist's offer to collaborate on a novel.


    • The Sleazy Director
    (He's invited every beautiful actress in town to bend over his casting couch - ew.)
  • The Sleazy Director hooked up with The Viciously Bitchy Blogger.
  • The Second Fiddle and The Overshadowed Sidekick are trying to get The Sleazy Director to put them in one of his movies.
  • He won't stop calling her. And while The America's Sweetheart wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole, The Sleazy Director insists his intentions are pure.


    • The Sexy, Untalented CW Actor
    (He doesn't need talent to take his shirt off and make out with girls just as pretty as him.)
  • The Sexy, Untalented CW Actor keeps sending The Manorexic anonymous gift cards to restaurants that The Rom-Com Guy pays for.
  • You know how The Romance Novelist makes her books so steamy? It's from a little one-on-one with The Sexy, Untalented CW Star.
  • The Buddhisthas been trying to cover up his jealousy over the success of The Sexy, Untalented CW Actor's show.


    • The Indie Label Head
    (We can blame this guy's label for the 'scene' trend. Blah.)
  • The Kabbalah Convert has been trying to take down The Political Activist by flirting with The Indie Label Head.
  • Ever since The Indie Label Head kicked The Annoying FBR Singer off his label, he's been hoping to make a legitimate musician out of The Shut Up, Don't Sing.
  • The Scream Queen is no longer in The Indie Label Head's good graces after making The Born-Again Christian believe that he has seen the light and needs to repent.


    • The Annoying FBR Singer
    (He makes Pete Wentz look appealing - quite the feat.)
  • The Brainless Beauty is pretending to be friends with The Plain Jane Funny Girl to get to The Annoying FBR Singer.
  • Ever since The Indie Label Head kicked The Annoying FBR Singer off his label, he's been hoping to make a legitimate musician out of The Shut Up, Don't Sing.
  • The Brainless Beauty has bumped uglies with The STD, The Famous and Unfunny Comedian, and The Narcissistic Egomaniac but draws the line with The Annoying FBR Singer.


    • The Drama King
    (He's got a little problem with taking his work home with him, it seems.)
  • The Drama King and The Villain teamed up to send The Thrice Rehabilitated back to Dr. Drew
  • It's no secret that The Outspoken TV Star and The Fashion Snob don't see eye to eye, and The Drama King enjoys blowing it all out of proportion.
  • The Entrepreneur once got drunk and hit on The Drama King's underage sister.


    • The Thrice Rehabilitated
    (Here's to hoping the third time was the charm - we'd hate to see him go too soon...)
  • The Thrice Rehabilitated, The Failed Drug Test, and The Cokewhore are in talks to star in a rehabilitation reality show
  • The Drama King and The Villain teamed up to send The Thrice Rehabilitated back to Dr. Drew.
  • The Girl You'd Never Expect to Do Drugs lets The Thrice Rehabilitated snort coke off her T&A.


    • The Asexual Actor
    (Ladies, he's just not that into you. You either, gents.)
  • The Obnoxious Starlet has been stalking The Asexual Actor.
  • While The Former Porn Star may have given up a life of XXX action, he's been hounded by The Asexual Actor, who wants to get his foot in the door of the adult entertainment world.
  • The Soap Opera Stud will do just about anything to stay on top, and if that means starting a rumor that The Asexual Actor is going to be starring in a film with The Former Porn Star, then so be it.


    • The Gossip Guy
    (Loose lips will sink ships...)
  • The Pill-Popper has joined forces with The Animal Rights Activist, but The Model-turned-Actress knows that she owns a real fur and is threatening to tell The Gossip Guy.
  • The Foot in Mouth Disease accidentally started a rumor about The Laid Back Leading Lady while talking to The Gossip Guy.
  • The All-American Actor is actually Canadian, according to The Gossip Guy.


    • The On-Set Prankster
    (Someone sure thinks they're Ashton Kutcher.)
  • The “Go Green” Lantern became a vegetarian thanks to one of The On-Set Prankster’s practical jokes.
  • The On-Set Prankster is itching to work with The Villain just so he can post his 'results' up on YouTube.
  • The Sci-Fi Sweetheart has been trying to prank The On-Set Prankster (and failing) since they were in junior high.


    • The Villain
    (Because every good story needs one.)
  • The Drama King and The Villain teamed up to send The Thrice Rehabilitated back to Dr. Drew.
  • The HBIC can't decide whether she loves or hates The Villain.
  • The On-Set Prankster is itching to work with The Villain just so he can post his 'results' up on YouTube.


    • The Manorexic
    (Eating disorders: not just for the ladies!)
  • The Sexy, Untalented CW Actor keeps sending The Manorexic anonymous gift cards to restaurants that The Rom-Com Guy pays for.
  • The Manorexic and The Fitness Freak are work out buddies.
  • The Model-Turned Actress causedThe Manorexic's eating disorder by saying he looked "porky".


    • The Former Porn Star
    (He's got the talent (and the hardware) to make it in all SORTS of films!)
  • The Former Porn Star is trying his best to ignore the advances of The America's Sweetheart.
  • While The Former Porn Star may have given up a life of XXX action, he's been hounded by The Asexual Actor, who wants to get his foot in the door of the adult entertainment world.
  • The Soap Opera Stud will do just about anything to stay on top, and if that means starting a rumor that The Asexual Actor is going to be starring in a film with The Former Porn Star, then so be it.


    • The Overshadowed Sidekick
    (He just can't seem to shake his top banana.)
  • The Second Fiddle and The Overshadowed Sidekick are trying to get The Sleazy Director to put them in one of his movies.
  • The Kabbalah Convert and The Overshadowed Sidekick were college sweethearts.
  • The Overshadowed Sidekick was the basis for one of The Male Romance Novelist's most famous characters.


    • The All-American Actor
    (His movies and charm are as American as apple pie. And he's just as yummy.)
  • The All-American Actor is trying to keep his relationship with The It-Girl on the down-low while he finalizes his divorce from The Addicted to Adoption.
  • Apparently The Oscar Hog called in all his favors to get The All-American Actor's role in the movie that won him his most recent gold statue. It's okay, though, The All-American Actor got pretty cozy with The Oscar Hog's ex-fiance, The Bond Girl.
  • The All-American Actor is actually Canadian, according to The Gossip Guy.


    • The Oscar Hog
    (Okay, buddy. Why don't you let someone else have a win now?)
  • Despite their closeness, for every flop The Box Office Bomb is responsible for, The Oscar Hog gets another nomination.
  • The Botox Queen owes The Tortured Dramatic Actor big bucks after blowing through The Oscar Hog's last credit card.
  • Apparently The Oscar Hog called in all his favors to get The All-American Actor's role in the movie that won him his most recent gold statue. It's okay, though, The All-American Actor got pretty cozy with The Oscar Hog's ex-fiance, The Bond Girl.


    • The Fitness Freak
    (Sweatin' to the Oldies since puberty, pretty much.)
  • The Fitness Freak has been trying to get The Stereotypically Chubby Chick to get into shape with him.
  • The Plain Jane Funny Girl is the reason behind The Fitness Freak's divorce.
  • The Manorexic and The Fitness Freak are work out buddies.


    • The Box Office Bomb
    (The money made from his last four films combined wouldn't buy you lunch at McDonalds.)
  • The HBIC dumped The Box Office Bomb for a fling with The Entrepreneur.
  • Despite their closeness, for every flop The Box Office Bomb is responsible for, The Oscar Hog gets another nomination.
  • The Box Office Bomb is desperate for a hit he's met with The Sex Tape Celeb about making a home video of their own.


    • The Indie Movie King
    (As quirky as can be! Honest to Blog!)
  • The Indie Movie King discovered that The Recovering Alcoholic doesn't always go to his meetings to stay sober.
  • Even on a slow day, The Intrusive Interviewer can always turn to The Outspoken TV Star for the juicy details of her relationship with The Indie Movie King.
  • The Indie Movie King and The Always a Nominee, Never a Winner got their start on The Mickey Mouse Club together.


    • The Entrepreneur
    (Because you can't have show biz with out the biz.)
  • The HBIC dumped The Box Office Bomb for a fling with The Entrepreneur.
  • The Entrpreneur once got drunk and hit on The Drama King's underage sister.
  • The Entrepreneur's first spokesgirl was The Model With The Millionaire Boyfriend.


    • The Comeback Kid
    (Aw, it's that kid! From that show!)
  • The Scream Queen claims to be pregnant with The Comeback Kid's child.
  • The Bond Girl and The Foreign Import aren't proud of how they broke into the business and have threatened to blackmail The Comeback Kid if he doesn't keep it a secret.
  • The Broadway Star aborted The Comeback Kid's baby - he got her pregnant back when their careers were in the dumps and they were doing community theater in the Valley.


    • The Heartbreaker
    (Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer... )
  • The Heartbreaker has been trying to catch The Tabloid-Dodger doing something scandalous to sell him out to The Viciously Bitchy Blogger.
  • It's Hollywood's best kept secret that The Purity Pledge once broke The Heartbreaker's heart.
  • The Heartbreaker got The Fashion Snob to break up with him by saying her outfit looked like it was purchased at Walmart.


    • The Tabloid Dodger
    (He's got a Ph.D in the Science of Stealth.)
  • The Heartbreaker has been trying to catch The Tabloid-Dodger doing something scandalous to sell him out to The Viciously Bitchy Blogger.
  • The Tabloid-Dodger and the The It-Girl broke up because he hated the press.
  • The Tabloid Dodger swore he'd never tell a soul that the The Tortured Dramatic Actor secretly loves Hanson.


    • The Tortured Dramatic Actor
    (Brb - he's suffering for his art!)
  • It has been rumored that The Tortured Dramatic Actor and The Ten Second Delay will join forces for a new project.
  • The Botox Queen owes The Tortured Dramatic Actor big bucks after blowing through The Oscar Hog's last credit card.
  • The Tabloid Dodger swore he'd never tell a soul that the The Tortured Dramatic Actor secretly loves Hanson.


    • The "Go Green" Lantern
    (This guy says only YOU can save Mother Earth.)
  • The 14:59 started a rumor that The “Go Green” Lantern is a dendrophiliac.
  • The “Go Green” Lantern became a vegetarian thanks to one of The On-Set Prankster’s practical jokes.
  • The Ten Second Delay curses so much because of a bet with The "Go Green" Lantern that at the end of his career, he'd have been censored more than any other interviewee in history.


    • The Ten-Second Delay
    (A real potty mouth, this guy never met a sentence he didn't have to have bleeped.)
  • It has been rumored that The Tortured Dramatic Actor and The Ten Second Delay will join forces for a new project.
  • The Ten Second Delay curses so much because of a bet with The "Go Green" Lantern that at the end of his career, he'd have been censored more than any other interviewee in history.
  • The Indie Movie Queen really likes The Ten Second Delay's filthy mouth - especially in the boudoir.


    • The Recovering Alcoholic
    (After kicking his liquid habit, he's just trying to stay on the wagon.)
  • The Indie Movie King discovered that The Recovering Alcoholic doesn't always go to his meetings to stay sober.
  • While The Recovering Alcoholic is taking The Pill-Popper under his wing to help her get clean, she's too focused on The Failed Drug Test and his connections.
  • The Recovering Alcoholic has to fight the urge to drink whenever he's forced to deal with The Disney Star.


    • The It Boy
    (Mmm - trendy!)
  • The Sex Tape Celeb is trying to get The It-Boy to be in their her next XXX feature.
  • The It-Boy can't help his affection for the Addicted to Adopting, despite the fact that he's young enough to be her own pseudo son.
  • Jealous of her fame, The It-Boy will see to it that the triple threat sings, dances, and acts her way into obscurity.


    • The Big Tipper
    (What a sweetie - he remembers what it's like to live hand to mouth and he does his part to boost the economy.)
  • The Big Tipper and the philantropist are blackmailing The Girl You’d Never Expect to Do Drugs to donate to their charity
  • The Foreign Import is cutting a deal with The Big Tipper to make her into an A-lister.
  • The Big Tipper once left The Rags to Riches a $3000 tip. She used the money to get an agent and decent headshots, which jump started her career.


    • The Philanthropist
    (You can bet that you'll see him at any and every charity event that he can get to.)
  • The Big Tipper and The Philanthropist are blackmailing The Girl You’d Never Expect to Do Drugs to donate to their charity.
  • The Philanthropist may donate to a bunch of charities, but that doesn't mean he's not looking to gain something extra out of donating a large sum of money to The Animal Rights Activist's charity.
  • The Philanthropist once spit in The Casting Couch Slut's face.


    • The Rom-Com Guy
    (Typecast, much? If you need a goofy guy who's either resisting commitment or unlucky in love, he's your go-to guy!)
  • The Sexy, Untalented CW Actor keeps sending The Manorexic anonymous gift cards to restaurants that The Rom-Com Guy pays for.
  • Though The Sci-Fi Sweetheart is ready to move on with her life and can't wait to be single again, The Rom-Com Guy refuses to sign the divorce papers.
  • The Rags to Riches may come from humble beginnings but that doesn't mean fame hasn't gotten to her. The Rom-Com Guy is seeing to it that her days of throwing temper tantrums on set are numbered.


    • The Gorehound
    (We suspect this guy may have some psychological issues. His movies are sick!)
  • The Gorehound would someday like to work with The Indie Movie Queen, but he keeps working with The Botox Queen instead.
  • The Gorehound is secretly engaged to The Purity Pledge.
  • The Sex Tape Celebwants to launch herself into a legitimate acting career. The Gorehound has just the connections to hook her up with a role - as long as she doesn't mind being hacked to death with a chainsaw.




    • The Scandal Fiend
    (He'll do anything to shed that preacher's son image. Anything.)
  • The Scandal Fiend had an on-set relationship with his on-screen mother, The Cougar.




  • The "Is He Gay?" Icon
    (No one knows for sure, but we sure hope not!)






  • The Small-Screen Superstar
    ("Did you see that trailer? With that one guy from that tv show?")





    • The Typecast Teen Sensation
    (Good luck proving he's got acting credibility with all of those preteen girls screaming in the background.)





    • The Silver Screen Rock Star
    (If you like the things he does with a guitar, you should see him with a script in his hands!)





    • The Cult Favorite
    (No stranger to the 'stans.)