Premades

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The 14:59
(Thank GOD her 15 minutes are almost up!)
  • The 14:59 started a rumor that The “Go Green” Lantern is a dendrophiliac.
  • The 14:59 is so desperate to stay in the news, she’s been trying to sell her own naked pictures, which were taken by The STD.
  • The 14:59 and the Obnoxious Starlet are childhood bffs.


The Domestic Goddess
(She gives Martha Stewart a run for her money!)
  • The Domestic Goddess stole recipes from The Next Food Network Star.
  • The best orgasm The Domestic Goddess ever had was courtesy of The Buddhist Om? More like mmm!
  • The Domestic Goddess adds Ritalin she buys from The Pill Popper to her recipes - it's how she stays peppy all the time.


The Obnoxious Starlet
(Her loud mouth and diva behavior completely ruin her good looks.)
  • The 14:59 and The Obnoxious Starlet are childhood bffs.
  • The Obnoxious Starlet has been stalking The Asexual Actor.
  • Even though The Aging Soap Star has been trying to save her career by tanking the careers of others, The Obnoxious Starlet has other plans in mind.


The Foot in Mouth Disease
(She seems perfectly capable until she opens her mouth...)
  • The Foot in Mouth Disease accidentally started a rumor about The Laid Back Leading Lady while talking to The Gossip Guy.
  • The Foot in Mouth Disease started a feud with The HBIC by saying she seemed like she was always PMS'ing.
  • The Soap Opera Stud secretly thinks that The Foot in Mouth Disease is adorable and charming.


The Political Activist
(With all her causes, it's a wonder she has time to work.)
  • The Buddhist is still hung up on his ex, The Friend-to-the-Fans, despite her affection for The Political Activist.
  • The Kabbalah Convert has been trying to take down The Political Activist by flirting with The Indie Label Head.
  • The Wannabe Politician and The Political Activist are starting a charity together.


The Triple Threat
(Singing, dancing, acting - she's a pro at all three.)
  • The Self-Taught Musician isn’t as self taught as he claims – he took secret lessons from The Triple Threat.
  • The Trainwreck Popstar has been denying rumors that The Triple Threat wrote her biggest hit.
  • Jealous of her fame, The It-Boy will see to it that The Triple Threat sings, dances, and acts her way into obscurity.


The Broadway Sweetheart
(A big name on stage, she's happy sticking to theatre.)
  • During a production of ‘The Glass Menagerie’, The Aging Soap Star gave The Broadway Sweetheart spoiled food so that she wouldn’t be upstaged.
  • The Casting Couch Slut is jealous of The Broadway Sweetheart's on-stage career, and has been trying to bribe The Trainwreck Popstar into destroying The Broadway Sweetheart with her.
  • The Broadway Star aborted The Comeback Kid's baby - he got her pregnant back when their careers were in the dumps and they were doing community theater in the Valley.


The Aging Soap Star
(Life and looks are passing this one by quickly...)
  • During a production of ‘The Glass Menagerie’, The Aging Soap Star gave The Broadway Sweetheart spoiled food so that she wouldn’t be upstaged.
  • The Stuck On Broadway is trying to get his big break into movies but The Aging Soap Star will make sure that doesn't happen.
  • Even though The Aging Soap Star has been trying to save her career by tanking the careers of others, The Obnoxious Starlet has other plans in mind.


The Kabbalah Convert
(She really works that red string bracelet!)
  • The Scientologist and The Kabbalah Convert are sleeping together; the constant religious debates turn them on.
  • The Kabbalah Convert has been trying to take down The Political Activist by flirting with The Indie Label Head.
  • The Kabbalah Convert and The Overshadowed Sidekick were college sweethearts.


The Addicted to Adoption
(More kids than Jon and Kate, but she's never given birth.)
  • The Addicted to Adoption adopted The Bond Girl's baby.
  • The All-American Actor is trying to keep his relationship with the domestic goddess on the down-low while he finalizes his divorce from The Addicted to Adoption
  • The It-Boy can't help his affection for The Addicted to Adoption, despite the fact that he's young enough to be her own pseudo son.


The Brainless Beauty
(God doesn't give with both hands)
  • The Brainless Beauty is pretending to be friends with The Plain Jane Funny Girl to get to The Annoying FBR Singer.
  • The Brainless Beauty has bumped uglies with The STD, The Famous and Unfunny Comedian, and The Narcissistic Egomaniac but draws the line with The Annoying FBR Singer.
  • The Brainless Beauty is secretly jealous of The Stereotypically Chubby Chick for getting attention.


The Trainwreck Popstar
(Any day now, she'll be shaving her head and eating cheetos barefoot.)
  • The Trainwreck Popstar has been denying rumors that The Triple Threat wrote her biggest hit.
  • The Casting Couch Slut is jealous of The Broadway Sweetheart's on-stage career, and has been trying to bribe The Trainwreck Popstar into destroying The Broadway Sweetheart with her.
  • The Always a Nominee, Never a Winner once pushed The Trainwreck Popstar down a flight of stairs.


The Plain Jane Funny Girl
(It's better than being the Ugly Funny Girl... right?)
  • The Brainless Beauty is pretending to be friends with The Plain Jane Funny Girl to get to The Annoying FBR Singer.
  • The Plain Jane Funny Girl is the reason behind The Fitness Freak's divorce.
  • Whoops! Looks like the next time The Plain Jane Funny Girl sends naughty pics to The Scientologist she'd better not hit 'send all' instead.


The Stereotypically Chubby Chick
(No one knows how talented she is, because she's constantly typecast. Sizism sucks!)
  • The Famous and Unfunny Comedian is pining after The Stereotypically Chubby Chick.
  • The Fitness Freak has been trying to get The Stereotypically Chubby Chick to get into shape with him.
  • The Brainless Beauty is secretly jealous of The Stereotypically Chubby Chick for getting attention.


The Viciously Bitchy Blogger
(Hell hath no fury like a bitch with a laptop.)
  • The Sleazy Director hooked up with The Viciously Bitchy Blogger
  • The Heartbreaker has been trying to catch The Tabloid-Dodger doing something scandalous to sell him out to The Viciously Bitchy Blogger.
  • The Male Romance Novelist leaked the rough draft of his anticipated new book to The Viciously Bitchy Blogger rather than close friend the intrusive reporter.


The Romance Novelist
(More of a Stephenie Meyer than a Jane Austen, but it pays the bills!)
  • The Narcissistic Egomaniac has been trying to get himself on the cover of one of The Romance Novelist's books.
  • The Enigmatic Author stole the twist ending to his most popular book from one of The Romance Novelist's unpublished manuscripts.
  • You know how The Romance Novelist makes her books so steamy? It's from a little one-on-one with The Sexy, Untalented CW Star.


The Casting Couch Slut
(You scratch her back, and she'll do more than that in return...)
  • The Casting Couch Slut went to The STD for directions to the clinic after a late night encounter with The Wannabe Politician.
  • The Casting Couch Slut is jealous of The Broadway Sweetheart's on-stage career, and has been trying to bribe The Trainwreck Popstar into destroying The Broadway Sweetheart with her.
  • The Philanthropist once spit in The Casting Couch Slut's face.


The HBIC
(Head. Bitch. In. Charge. Bow down, please!)
  • The HBIC dumped The Box Office Bomb for a fling with The Entrepreneur
  • The HBIC can't decide whether she loves or hates The Villain
  • The Foot in Mouth Disease started a feud with The HBIC by saying she seemed like she was always PMS'ing.


The Foreign Import
(Too sleek and sophisticated to possibly be American!)
  • The Foreign Import is cutting a deal with The Big Tipper to make her into an A-lister.
  • The Bond Girl and The Foreign Import aren't proud of how they broke into the business and have threatened to blackmail The Comeback Kid if he doesn't keep it a secret.
  • The Foreign Import and The Narcisstic Egomaniac use the same therapist.


The Bond Girl
(Her breakout role was as 007's arm candy. Nice!)
  • The Addicted to Adoption adopted The Bond Girl's baby.
  • The Bond Girl and The Foreign Import aren't proud of how they broke into the business and have threatened to blackmail The Comeback Kid if he doesn't keep it a secret.
  • Apparently The Oscar Hog called in all his favors to get The All-American Actor's role in the movie that won him his most recent gold statue. It's okay, though, The All-American Actor got pretty cozy with The Oscar Hog's ex-fiance, The Bond Girl.


The Model With the Billionaire Boyfriend
(He likes her conversational skills and she, his intellect. Riiiight.)
  • The Model with the Billionaire Boyfriend has fallen under the wing of The Cokewhore.
  • The Foot in Mouth Disease found out about The Girl You'd Never Expect to Do Drugs's little secret and accidentally spilled the beans to The Model with the Billionaire Boyfriend.
  • The Entrepreneur's first spokesgirl was The Model With The Millionaire Boyfriend.


The Cokewhore
(Silly rabbit, bathroom stalls are meant for one!)
  • The Model with the Billionaire Boyfriend has fallen under the wing of The Cokewhore.
  • The America's Sweetheart and The Cokewhore were spotted getting high together.
  • The Thrice Rehabilitated, The Failed Drug Test, and The Cokewhore are in talks to star in a rehabilitation reality show.


The Girl You'd Never Expect to Do Drugs
(We actually believe her when she says the needle mark is from a tetnus shot)
  • The Big Tipper and The Philanthropist are blackmailing The Girl You’d Never Expect to Do Drugs to donate to their charity.
  • The Foot in Mouth Disease found out about The Girl You'd Never Expect to Do Drugs's little secret and accidentally spilled the beans to The Model with the Billionaire Boyfriend.
  • The Girl You'd Never Expect to Do Drugs lets The Thrice Rehabilitated snort coke off her T&A.


The Purity Pledge
(Her mind is open - but her legs are closed.)
  • The Disney Star and The Purity Pledge formed a fake friendship for publicity purposes.
  • The Gorehound is secretly engaged to The Purity Pledge.
  • It's Hollywood's best kept secret that The Purity Pledge once broke The Heartbreaker's heart.


The Disney Star
(She's ready to let her hair down and be an adult - too bad she's contractually obligated!)
  • The Fashion Snob and The Disney Star sold out The Closeted Action Star to The Intrusive Interviewer
  • The Disney Star and The Purity Pledge formed a fake friendship for publicity purposes.
  • The Recovering Alcoholic has to fight the urge to drink whenever he's forced to deal with The Disney Star.


The America's Sweetheart
(If you don't like this woman, you might as well be Al Qaeda!)
  • The America's Sweetheart and The Cokewhore were spotted getting high together
  • The Former Porn Star is trying his best to ignore the advances of The America's Sweetheart
  • He won't stop calling her. And while The America's Sweetheart wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole, The Sleazy Director insists his intentions are pure.


The Second Fiddle
(Is there anyone who hasn't upstaged this girl at one point or another?)
  • The Second Fiddle and The Overshadowed Sidekick are trying to get The Sleazy Director to put them in one of his movies.
  • The Closeted Action Star has a heart! after all, he took a bullet and slept with his friend The Second Fiddle so she could have the baby she's always wanted.
  • The Model-turned-Actress had better hope that The Second Fiddle can keep a secret after she walked in on her and The Enigmatic Author getting down and dirty.


The Pill Popper
(Never met a prescription she didn't like.)
  • The Pill-Popper has joined forces with The Animal Rights Activist, but The Model-turned-Actress knows that she owns a real fur and is threatening to tell The Gossip Guy.
  • While The Recovering Alcoholic is taking The Pill-Popper under his wing to help her get clean, she's too focused on The Failed Drug Test and his connections.
  • The Domestic Goddess adds Ritalin she buys from The Pill Popper to her recipes - it's how she stays peppy all the time.


The Botox Queen
(It takes 43 muscles to frown but only 17 muscles to smile - all 60 of hers are frozen in place.)
  • The Gorehound would someday like to work with The Indie Movie Queen, but he keeps working with The Botox Queen instead.
  • The Rags to Riches may donate to charity, but The Botox Queen knows that she's been secretly getting botox injections.
  • The Botox Queen owes The Tortured Dramatic Actor big bucks after blowing through The Oscar Hog's last credit card.


The Indie Movie Queen
(She's allergic to major studios and popcorn flicks)
  • The Gorehound would someday like to work with The Indie Movie Queen, but he keeps working with The Botox Queen instead.
  • The Indie Movie Queen has been blackmailing The Outspoken TV Star by using her fling with The Stuck On Broadway against her.
  • The Indie Movie Queen really likes The Ten Second Delay's filthy mouth - especially in the boudoir.


The Sex Tape Celeb
(Her last movie was produced really cheap and rated XXX - whoops!)
  • The Sex Tape Celeb is trying to get The It-Boy to be in their her next XXX feature.
  • The Box Office Bomb is desperate for a hit he's met with The Sex Tape Celeb about making a home video of their own.
  • According to The Sex Tape Celeb, she wants to launch herself into a legitimate acting career. and The Gorehound has just the connections to hook her up with a role - as long as she doesn't mind being hacked to death with a chainsaw.


The Shut Up, Don't Sing
(She just accept that she's famous for being famous and quit trying to be legit!)
  • The Shut Up, Don't Sing and The Self-taught Musician are working on a track together.
  • The Soap Opera Stud is leaving Hollywood for the world of hip-hop to work with The Shut Up, Don't Sing.
  • Ever since The Indie Label Head kicked The Annoying FBR Singer off his label, he's been hoping to make a legitimate musician out of The Shut Up, Don't Sing.


The Outspoken TV Star
(Discretion isn't in her vocabulary...)
  • Even on a slow day, The Intrusive Interviewer can always turn to The Outspoken TV Star for the juicy details of her relationship with The Indie Movie King.
  • It's no secret that The Outspoken TV Star and The Fashion Snob don't see eye to eye, and The Drama King enjoys blowing it all out of proportion.
  • The Indie Movie Queen has been blackmailing The Outspoken TV Star by using her fling with The Stuck On Broadway against her.


The Intrusive Intervewer
(Unafraid of asking the tough questions - even when she's been told not to.)
  • The Fashion Snob and The Disney Star sold out The Closeted Action Star to The Intrusive Interviewer.
  • The Male Romance Novelist leaked the rough draft of his anticipated new book to The Viciously Bitchy Blogger rather than close friend The Intrusive Interviewer.
  • Even on a slow day, The Intrusive Interviewer can always turn to The Outspoken TV Star for the juicy details of her relationship with The Indie Movie King.


The Scream Queen
(Every gorehound's wet dream, she prefers meat cleavers to meaty dramatic roles.)
  • The Scream Queen claims to be pregnant with The Comeback Kid's child.
  • The Scream Queen is no longer in The Indie Label Head's good graces after making The Born-Again Christian believe that he has seen the light and needs to repent.
  • The Laid Back Leading Lady isn't so chill that her friend, The Friend-to-the-Fans is getting so cozy with her nemesis, The Scream Queen.


The Fashion Snob
(Ew - did you buy that dress at Old Navy?)
  • The Fashion Snob and The Disney Star sold out The Closeted Action Star to The Intrusive Interviewer.
  • It's no secret that The Outspoken TV Star and The Fashion Snob don't see eye to eye, and The Drama King enjoys blowing it all out of proportion.
  • The Heartbreaker got The Fashion Snob to break up with him by saying her outfit looked like it was purchased at Walmart.


The Animal Rights Activist
(All her best friends have four legs)
  • The Pill-Popper has joined forces with The Animal Rights Activist, but The Model-turned-Actress knows that she owns a real fur and is threatening to tell The Gossip Guy.
  • The Philanthropist may donate to a bunch of charities, but that doesn't mean he's not looking to gain something out of donating a large sum of money to The Animal Rights Activist's charity.
  • The Friend-to-the-Fans will be teaming up to do a campaign with The Animal Rights Activist to raise more awareness on animal cruelty.


The Born-Again Christian
(She's found Jesus. We've found her annoying ever since.)
  • The Born-Again Christian is The Closeted Action Star’s beard.
  • The Born-Again Christian told The Always a Nominee, Never a Winner that accepting Christ would bring her recognition for her work.
  • The Scream Queen is no longer in The Indie Label Head's good graces after making The Born-Again Christian believe that he has seen the light and needs to repent.


The It-Girl
(Every girl wants to be her, and the guys want to be with her - she's everywhere these days!)
  • The Stuck on Broadway tried to form a relationship with The It-Girl for the sake of his career.
  • The Tabloid-Dodger and the The It-Girl broke up because he hated the press.
  • The All-American Actor is trying to keep his relationship with The It-Girl on the down-low while he finalizes his divorce from The Addicted to Adoption.


The Friend-to-the-Fans
(It's not uncommon for her to exchange contact info with fans -AND keep in touch. Maybe she's lonely?)
  • The Buddhist is still hung up on his ex, The Friend-to-the-Fans, despite her affection for the political activist.
  • The Friend-to-the-Fans will be teaming up to do a campaign with The Animal Rights Activist to raise more awareness on animal cruelty.
  • The Laid Back Leading Lady isn't so chill that her friend, The Friend-to-the-Fans is getting so cozy with her nemesis, The Scream Queen.


The Laid Back Leading Lady
(The opposite of a diva, she's the most easy going actress in town.)
  • The Foot in Mouth Disease accidentally started a rumor about The Laid Back Leading Lady while talking to The Gossip Guy.
  • The Laid Back Leading Lady is the inspiration for The Pretentious Musician's biggest hit.
  • The Laid Back Leading Lady isn't so chill that her friend, The Friend-to-the-Fans is getting so cozy with her nemesis, The Scream Queen.


The Sci-Fi Sweetheart
(This one carved her niche in outer space.)
  • The Sci-Fi Sweetheart has been trying to hook up with The Scientologist for awhile now.
  • Though The Sci-Fi Sweetheart is ready to move on with her life and can't wait to be single again, The Rom-Com Guy refuses to sign the divorce papers.
  • The Sci-Fi Sweetheart has been trying to prank The On-Set Prankster (and failing) since they were in junior high.


The Model-turned-Actress
(We liked her SO much better in the ads of our magazines.)
  • The Pill-Popper has joined forces with The Animal Rights Activist, but The Model-turned-Actress knows that she owns a real fur and is threatening to tell The Gossip Guy.
  • The Model-turned-Actress had better hope that The Second Fiddle can keep a secret after she walked in on her and The Enigmatic Author getting down and dirty.
  • The Model-Turned Actress causedThe Manorexic's eating disorder by saying he looked "porky".


The Always a Nominee, Never a Winner
(Nominations: 17. Wins: 0.)
  • The Born-Again Christian told The Always a Nominee, Never a Winner that accepting Christ would bring her recognition for her work.
  • The Indie Movie King and The Always a Nominee, Never a Winner got their start on The Mickey Mouse Club together.
  • The Always a Nominee, Never a Winner once pushed The Trainwreck Popstar down a flight of stairs.


The Rags to Riches
(She's movin' on up, to the eastside...)
  • The Rags to Riches may donate to charity, but The Botox Queen knows that she's been secretly getting botox injections.
  • The Rags to Riches may come from humble beginnings but that doesn't mean fame hasn't gotten to her. The Rom-Com Guy is seeing to it that her days of not throwing temper tantrums on set are numbered.
  • The Big Tipper once left The Rags to Riches a $3000 tip. She used the money to get an agent and decent headshots, which jump started her career.


The Rockstar's Daughter
(Riding Daddy's coattails, are we?)
  • The HBICpoured sugar in The Rockstar's Daughter's gas tank because she thought she was sleeping with her baby daddy, The Villain.
  • The Rockstar's Daughter and The Self Taught Musician had a secret love affair, but kept it under wraps so she could maintain her virginal appearance..
  • The STD gave The Rockstar's Daughter herpes and came face to face with daddy's .45.


The Quirky Starlet
(Odd. Yet strangely endearing, hmm...)




The Wannabe Rockstar
(She wants to headbang and rock out with the rest of them... too bad a teenybopper at heart.)




The LA Music Scene Queen
(She may be big in LA, but MTV VJs wouldn't be able to pick her out of a lineup.)