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[25 Apr 2008|11:51pm] |
My opinions. Here they are out in the open for all the world to see. Hiding nothing.
- People with borderline personality disorder shouldn't go off their medication. Actually, anyone with severe mental disorders should not go off their medication. Not being a hypocrite in this, that's why I did what I had to in order to get my medication for my anxiety. I've been a lot better because of it. But, people prone to such manic episodes who think they're fine without it... well there was a reason you were prescribed them in the first place and some people just have to take meds their whole life. Things were perfectly fine until she went off them and went psychotic again.
- Apparently, I betray people. Though you know, Kelly was the only one I went to about the serious stuff, because she saw it too and we had mentioned several times to each other that we wanted to help. i went to her, because she understood Lindsay better. You know, there are so many things that I've helped Lindsay through and been there for her through that I could tell everyone. If I didn't care about her, if I was what she's trying to make me out to be, then I would have told the world. Never did that. But you know, this is why it was impossible to talk to Lindsay about any of it in the first place. She goes mental over it, stresses herself out when she doesn't need to be stressed, jumps to conclusions and always assumes the worst out of what is said.
- She's an adult now you know. She doesn't need the drama or the shit. Yet, hacking into someone's journal over something so petty? I didn't know that was the emblem of maturity. Isn't she twenty-five now, married and wanting to have a kid? What sort of adult humour and pleasure can be taken out of something so childish? Again, this goes back to the mental state she is in when she is off her medication. Things were great until then. We were able to talk to each other rationally and be there. I've had my manic moments. She helped me through them. I did try to do the same for her, even when it was an inconvenience for me.
- Why on earth would I try and break up a 15 year friendship? Definitely giving me far more credit than I deserve. I spent plenty of time talking to Kelly when Lindsay and I weren't talking and every once in awhile, I'd ask how she was doing, because I cared. I never once said that she shouldn't be friends with her. Where any of this is coming from is news to me. I wasn't attacking Kelly viciously with what happened the night that Lindsay and I jumped to conclusions. I felt hurt and betrayed, but I wanted to get to the bottom of it. I wasn't against us trying to work things out, because I wanted it to be through the truth and communication. That's being a bad friend? Since when?
- Apparently, this is my loss. This is the last time that I'm writing over this issue. Obviously it isn't a loss. I'll never forget what my old therapist told me about borderlines and their need to control the world around them, pull people into their circle. When Lindsay and I started talking again, it seemed like things with that were getting better. Since she quit taking the psych meds, the same habits are back. She does that controlling thing. She's trying the same crap on me now, again like all the other times. I don't have time for it. I was hoping that we had both matured, but I don't think it's an issue of maturity. I think it's an issue of personality.
-K, and as for this being my loss with Kelly. I can't trust someone who plays both sides like that. I never played both sides. I've been open about my opinions. The only reason it's ever taken me longer than I wanted to, to tell someone something I feel towards them, has been because of the way I know it'll be taken. Funny how Kelly said the same thing the last couple years, even recently. but what is truth and what is false? That isn't a loss to me. I wanted to work on getting over that, but this is just one more case where it just seems as if it isn't even worth it.
- They invited me into their homes, yes. I spent the money, tons of money to get out there. I should have been helping my husband move, but it was one of those things where we'd known each other for so long that I needed to take that opportunity, because I thought we were all close friends. It seemed to work out best to go out during the move. I would have never brought my daughter along. I would have never asked Kelly to be her Godmother. I would have never gone to either of them for advice or listen to their problems. I wouldn't have neglected time with my husband to spend hours on the phone with them, if this was all some giant scheme to break them apart. That's the hugest thing I've ever seen either of them pull out of their ass and it's so completely delusional.
My loss is my own stupidity. I thought I had friends who were above such trivial crap. People who understood human issues and problems. I thought that these were two people that I connected with on an intellectual and personal level. I considered them sisters, because of how close we all were. I forgive them for their misunderstanding. But they're right, trust is shattered. They call me a hypocrite, when they play the games that they're accusing me of. I can't be friends with someone who is still pulling such childish pranks and arguments.
This subject is now officially closed. Moving on with my life. I have better friends, which has been made all too clear over the past week.
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| announcement |
[24 Apr 2008|08:48am] |
So this journal was basically an exact copy of ~snezana over at GJ and I've realized that I actually needed some change. Not a massive overhaul, but enough of one so things feel a little more fresh. I've set up new shop, this time at IJ since the # of games at Scribbld and LJ respectively is v. low and, well, all of my own games are over there anyway. I've friends-locked all the old icon entries here and won't be accepting any new friends since this journal is officially defunct as both a CDJ and icon journal.
If you've been following me here and would like to continue to, please add me and comment at (please do comment, because it's supposed to be a demonstration that you've read and understood the rules, considering the trouble I've had with people NOT doing so):
PIGALLE @ IJ
And for CDJ purposes, if you were added here and haven't added me there already, I am thouvenin.
Yes, I did take down a few more icon batches in the move--sorry! Icons that are over a year old just make me cringe something awful. Anyway, there are a few glitches yet, I'm sure, like links pointing to the wrong thing, but I'll fix them as I see them and pretty things up a bit more. Thanks for bearing with me!
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[16 Apr 2008|12:12am] |
I am excited.
I'm also working on another project. It's kind of a Lithuanian thing, help me get in touch with my roots, I guess. Midgey's helping me with some translations, so it can be in Lithuanian and English, and Inky, you're helping when you get back from your Norwegian Getaway with the baker. I put you on the cover, though, so you might as well earn your keep.
What do you think? Does that say strong political statements disguised as art?
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| khgjjhgkhjghjvgk |
[25 Mar 2008|10:44am] |
IF SOMETHING IS MARKED AS "DO NOT TAKE", DO NOT TAKE IT.
Likewise, DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM MY USERINFOS, ESPECIALLY WITHOUT ASKING. It's incredibly rude to both completely ignore a very conspicuous request like "don't take" under every icon and to not even bother contacting me to get permission in case I'd allow it. I really don't know how much clearer I can be, and I am absolutely fucking sick to death of people going through either my personal journals or character journals and taking things. PLEASE learn some e-manners, and common sense dictates that people are far more likely to allow you to have something if you ask nicely rather than just going ahead and seizing. If I make something to share, it's going to be in an icon post on this journal--I don't think respecting my desire to keep some things for my own personal use is an unreasonable demand. I realize I can't actually do anything about it, but it still makes you look like an asshat.
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[06 Mar 2008|11:25am] |
pregnant. quitting smoking. no caffeine. lost writing. teething toddler. no family support. no medication. flu. new computer. dior perfume. thirty brand new books. victims membership. new toys for baby. all bills paid. money can buy a little bit of happiness.
christian seriano. fierce and well deserving. i've been roleplaying an essence of him before PR4 ever even aired. BD:1/2b2. Yup. adore.
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[08 Feb 2008|10:08pm] |
so i finally went on an epic jlu marathon today.
how did i not watch this before? HOW. batman singing oh my sweet jesus. am i blue. i think i nearly peed myself. ALSO ELENA, LIGHT OF MY LIFE, FIRE IN MY LOINS ETC ETC I SAW FIRE AND ICE IN THE OPENING EPISODE AND MY HAPPINESS KNEW NO BOUNDS.
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| MEMES. |
[07 Feb 2008|01:49pm] |
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Pick one or more of my characters and one or more of yours, and I'll tell you something they've always wanted to say to your character but could never bring themselves to say out loud.
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| MEME. |
[05 Feb 2008|12:09am] |
UGH UGH GOD I AM SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING A PAPER UGH GOD I HATE YOU ALL.
Pick one or more of my characters and one or more of yours, and I'll tell you something they've always wanted to say to your character but could never bring themselves to say out loud.
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[02 Feb 2008|04:24pm] |
Why, hello again, Scribbld. It is good to see we've come to some sort of arrangement.
(...I'll probably still use my IJ more. :|)
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[31 Jan 2008|10:18am] |
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I wish I'd stop sleeping so damn much so I could actually do some writing.
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[26 Jan 2008|07:06am] |
i keep starting and scrapping that future vp meme, as i can't decide about mona.
ALSO: CONNIE, CONNIE, CONNIE OR OTHERS IDK. i feel you would be the ~expert~ on this. elena's been oh so subtly hinting and linking me to metrotower (the bats/toaster/kitchen fire thread? almost killed me); but do you know where i could watch jlu online, BY ANY CHANCE?
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| [VP] Post-Dumbledore. |
[18 Jan 2008|04:51pm] |
Scribbld loads REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY painfully slow for me, so I'm sorry I don't update more. :/
Anyway, here's how my kids are handling Dumbledore's death over at VP:
( BLAH BLAH BLAH. )
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| i am a sheep. baaa. |
[17 Jan 2008|09:24am] |
stolen from many!
mona and demelza and their current states of mind.
DEMELZA: she's just pissed off, really. fucking slytherins. l mean COME ON, how stupid do people have to be NOT to expect a slytherin at the bottom of this? an elitist, bitchy mother's boy pulls out a gun and shoots the former headmaster who loved the poor. WHERE IS THE SHOCK THERE? yeah, she's gotten over her initial freaking out over it all, and being the type not to think long terms, hasn't even BEGUN to consider the repercussions for scholarship students this could have with Dumbledore completely out of the picture. Though she is kind of bummed that Harry probably WON'T be playing cricket this year, then.
MONA: she's fairly devestated, to be honest. Not about Dumbledore's death, because the man was past his prime, elderly, and this did natural selection a favor; but she's TRAUMATIZED over the public reaction/media attention/student devastation as it came under HER WATCH, and slytherin is going to get scapegoated for all of it. she's not an idiot, and KNOWS a slytherin head position is a fair rarity, and having the house falling apart under her direct watch with the draco implications is traumatizing her. she's trying to follow samantha's lead and be comforting to the younger students etc etc, and also bit the bullet and gave blaise her sympathy; but she's far better at giving orders and maintaining discipline than she is at providing the tact this sort of situation handles. i imagine she's publicly going to keep all image of being head girl up well, though friends may note her slipping away every ten minutes or so to eat out her worries on processed sugar. they might also note any sweets around the common room/dorms have mysteriously disapperared, only to make their way into her trunk.
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[16 Jan 2008|01:52pm] |
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Oh hai! since this is where most of the VP people are, I need your help! I meet Alice in EIGHT DAYS in Sydney when we will (likely) get rollickingly wasted. I told her long ago that when we met I would give my ~very best~ Mona Mumps impressions. Since I am no longer in VP and have not been privy to some of the comic gold that this character has lately afforded I NEED YOUR HELP. Please link me to some fantabulousness, plz.
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| .oo1 |
[15 Jan 2008|08:39am] |
I don't really know how much I'm going to use this. All my other games moved to InsaneJournal, and Scribbld.net has never worked very well for me. I'm going to try and keep it as updated as I can, though my icon journal will be over there so if anyone wants to be affiliates... I'm down with it.
I can't believe how smoothly Euphoria Lane's move was. We had a tonne of volunteers who helped me move things, and I really couldn't have been more grateful. It also looks like I posed the question of moving just in time. Kind of funny how that happened.
And now I am UTTERLY STARVING. Thank GOD it's payday!
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[14 Jan 2008|12:01pm] |
OMG SCRIBBLED IS WORKING. IT'S LIKE ~MAGIC~ SOMEONE UPDATE ME ON THINGS.
(NO, I HAVEN'T CHECKED IT IN LIKE TWO WEEKS. WHATEVER.)
I'M GETTING MY VP SHIT SET UP THIS WEEK, FOOLS. I NEED TO GO REDO MY PP ICONS.
ALSO, FOR SOME REASON, EVERYTHING APPEARS TINY IN THE HTML POSTING TEMPLATE HERE. SO AN ENTIRE ENTRY IN CAPSLOCK? DOES NOT LOOK NEARLY AS RIDIC AS IT DOES OTHER PLACES.
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[11 Jan 2008|11:29am] |
Does anyone want a version of ![[info]](http://www.scribbld.net/img/userinfo.gif) find_icons over here at Scribbld?
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[11 Jan 2008|01:56am] |
I am an idiot. Seriously.
The desktop computer died and I was too lazy to save my nano project. Which means, I've lost an entire chunk of over 50,000 words. The only positive thing to this, is that there are 4 printed copies of it out. Three with my friends and one with me. In the very least, if it's not recoverable from the desktop comp, I can type it all out again.
I swear I'm so frustrated, that I have no gumption to write. I've just been reading. I need to write though and not do what I did last time, which was take six months off in frustration and anger.
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