True Reflections

Overwhelmed with the Ordinary


deja vu all over again @ 08:46 am

Current Mood: thoughtful

It started Monday. I've had flashes of deja vu before, but this week it's been often and rather strong.

Monday I arrived in Portland for an appointment I have every month, and it was a gorgeous day. Perfect temp, perfect breeze, city-smells, and WHOOSH I was immediately reminded of being in Europe. I was either in France or Italy, I can't recall now, but I recall being in the city and it felt just like that. The sense was so very pervasive. Usually a flash is just that - a flash - but this sense stayed with me across the big parking lot until I was in the building. It came back briefly when I left again.

And all this week, I've had the sense of the circular expanse of years touching themselves, like I'm walking on the outside edge of those times past with the edge of NOW touching the edge of THEN and I can see past the barrier. It's almost frightening - is this some sort of premonition? Many instances of deja vu. This morning and yesterday, I felt it was not 2008, but 1996. Katie is an infant, and I'm home with her. It was the fun and joy of shopping for her, finding darling baby clothes and toys and I could feel how I felt then, so strongly, surrounded and consumed by 'baby' events and choices and things. (No, I'm not pregnant, not possible.)

My mind is trying hard to rationalize all this, and I find myself brainstorming reasons.

I'm going to die and this is my life flashing before me.

Someone else is going to die and memories are hitting me now.

My memory, which sucks, as you know, is waking up.

I've been working so very hard the last couple of weeks and I'm exhausted and my mind is playing tricks on me.

Spirits are speaking to me - usually when that happens it's in that space between being awake and being asleep, and instead, I'm fully awake and this is how they present.

I'm finally losing my mind!




In other news, a classmate of mine is very likely dying of cancer. He was our football team quarterback. Tall, blond, handsome. Same last name as me. I got on well with everyone at school, really, but not really close to any of the Big Fish, of which he was one. We were close by dint of names, lol. At any rate, his cancer his back and he's only 40. This sucks. www.caringbridge.org/visit/waltjohnson

They're organizing fundraisers to pay expenses because, of course, he's used up all his leave from the school district he works for.




I've acquired the film Laura at the behest of a friend, for I am told I can't read her story until I've seen the film. Hollywood Video had it, so for the first time in AGES, I rented a movie from somewhere other than Netflix! Funny thing is, I've heard of the film, can even tell you that Gene Tierney plays Laura, but I have never actually seen it. So, my plan for the day is to do some work, and then build a fire (it's only 54 and raining!) take up my cross stitch project that hasn't seen the light of day in a month, and watch.




Karl's at school giving his poem right now, I think...Shel Silverstein's "Band-Aids":

I've got a Band-aid on my finger
One on my knee, one on my nose
One on my heel and two on my shoulder
Three on my elbow, and nine on my toes.
Two on my wrist and one on my ankle,
one on my chin and one on my thigh
Four on my belly and five on my bottom
One on my forehead and one on my eye.
One on my neck and in case I might need them
I have a box full of thirty-five more.
But Oh! I do think it's sort of a pity
I don't have a cut or a sore.


He had to wear a costume - I sent him with a box of Band-Aids. The actual brand - work for the company and get your Band-Aids cheaply, lol. We planned out that he could put on Band-Aids on the more obvious body parts, but not his toes or his thigh or his bottom, of course. :) He practiced it all week and can rattle it off with speed if he wanted, but knows he needs to do it loudly and slowly for his grade.




It's a holiday weekend here in the US. What's your plans? We had thought to drive up to Mt. St. Helens on Sunday, but the weather is too poor. Wouldn't be able to see into the crater. My mother has never been up there, not since May 17, 1980, when she and my uncle and my uncle's flight instructor flew over the mountain at 8am - 24 hours before she blew out the side. (They were supposed to go on the 18th but the weather forecast prompted them to go a day early. Someone was watching...) At any rate, we were going to take her up there, because they just opened the road and there are 10ft high snow walls along the highway - yes, it's been a LONG WINTER. Gah. We'll take her later this summer, though.

We have my nephew's 7th birthday party tomorrow. His birthday was the 18th, party tomorrow. Star Wars theme, bouncy house, the works. Beyond that, we have the Indy race on Sunday and I hope to write write write if I can kick my muse into finishing this story for [info]enednoviel.




Wow, this is long. Have a Friday, everyone.
 

Oh, wow...cross stitchers! @ 08:55 am

Isn't this gorgeous? Crown cross

and this one! Celtic Gilt Sky

Oh, hell, See the whole page!




and OH, Ugly Betty! I really, really enjoyed this episode. Wow.
 

I sure get a lot of @ 12:23 pm

Spanish comments on my YT vids. Thank goodness for my Mexican coworker; she loves my vids and does my translating for me! :)

Time for lunch and "Laura"....

Nancy, box mailed off. Should be there Tues/Weds, I think. Bonny, you too.

 

YAY KARL!!! @ 02:43 pm

He did his poem, dressed in his Band-Aids, and got a score of Excellent and a STAR for effort! Highest he could get!

\0/

 

Puberty looms... @ 11:47 pm

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Olbermann

One more step, we took tonight.

Katie is now the dubiously proud owner of a Venus razor. She insists I must show her how to shave her legs.

Oh, my. I am torn between being proud I've not killed her yet and she's of an age to be doing this, and wishing she were that baby I deja vu'd back to today!
 

True Reflections

Overwhelmed with the Ordinary