this layout features zero kiryuu and yuki cross from the manga vampire knight by matsuri hino. original scan was colored by ho acinom, and modified by badou. lyrics are from on/off's "eien no setsuna." best viewed in 1024 x 768 or higher. graphics and coding made by badou. uploaded 05/30/08.

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	mood	▶	annoyed
	music	▶	"Reila" The GazettE

I shouldn't have waited as long as I did to make this post and yes it is a completely open post, but all comments will be disabled. I'm not looking for drama, but remember you posted about it in your journal, or I should say you posted up one thing brought up in your journal. It wasn't just about that or this. It's about many things that I've tried to bring up on most definitely more than one occasion, but I've noticed you only want to see one thing and ignore the rest.

What this comes down to is that we are completely incompatible as friends let alone anything else. From earlier on we began a cycle of good times and bad ones, in the beginning the good out weighted the bad, but as time has gone on I have become your scapegoat for all of your frustrations and sometimes even when your not. Now before you go denying it, I believe wholeheartedly that you have no knowledge of doing this to me. I've been watching very carefully, especially the last 2-3 years and with other people you seem like a completely normal person with every day kind of issues, but when it comes to me, you put me down, say things that make me think or feel I'm not worthy of being around your or speak to you, which over the years has taken a big toll on how I act with others. I've become paranoid that they will react a certain way when I do or say something, it's only recently have I started to work out of this, not everyone is going to react the way you do and you always react the same way to me. It's why we can't be friends. I believe that you have changed, but with others, I think it is only a matter of time before the cycle will begin again if we start talking again. It's happen more times than I can count.

You mention that you're very happy now being yourself in this past month in and a half. Notice how often we've been talking to one another in that time. Longer if I could have helped it, when the doll thing happen, something else happened at the same time which I'm pretty sure you don't remember at all, but that hurt so much and made me so angry, that was why I cut you and I made a very very angry post about it saying I never never wants to speak to you again. Even know this hurts me to write it, but I have to do it. I can't continue to lead you to believe everything is peachy, because it's not, I can't remember anymore the last time things were peachy, in any part of our friendship. And I tried ways on my own to make it better, every attempt failed and you probably didn't even notice. I tested didn't things, watch what I said or did. For some reason you always treated me differently, at least now I have a name for it. And even with our worst fights you come back for more, we hurt each other constantly and yet you want more? When does the bad outweigh the good? For me it was the last fight (that nondoll part) and the last time I came over your house when you thought that the computer was more interesting than I was. I thought friends were suppose to spend time with one another and though you didn't spend your whole time on there, over 50% is a little much in my book. When was the last time we actually did something other than watch movies anyways?

It hurt spending time with you after awhile because our RP stuff fell out and you would tell me about how much fun you were having with everyone else. Must have been better than when it was with me because you would have talked about that, but also tried to talk about what we could do and I remember you trying a couple of times. But our love for something died and when it did all of the RP stuff fell apart. When that happened, we only had movies to watch anymore and nothing else to do except talk about that or who said what to who online.

I'm attempting to keep this as organized as possible, I'm sorry if I ever got off target. For those of you that talk to her I thought about cutting you out of my life because I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her anymore, I don't even care if I get my very very late xmas presents anymore that I'm assuming I'll never get anyways because they are always either missing or undone. I got use to that. I'll send your birthday present to the place I have Atsu's address at. -but people, it wouldn't be fair for those of you that do have a normal relationship with her and that wouldn't be fair to myself that does consider some of you out there friends and not people that will run to tell her stuff, I got rid of those kind of people on my journal a very long time ago. But please know I don't want to discuss this any further after this post, this was a very long time coming as I stated at the beginning and I want nothing more than to finally say that this is finished, leaving it open for so long only made it worse for me mentally.

To you....I do not hate you, but I cannot be your friend.

Sorry this is a bit late. The power went out last night...and apparently, New Jersey is in the middle of a tropical storm, so I'll make this brief. This week is a song and I've chosen;

A BEAUTIFUL LIE ♫ 30 SECONDS TO MARS
( lyrics thank to azlyrics.com )

→ Please include the LYRICS used in your icon(s).
→ You may submit up to 2 icons.
→ Include the image URL as well as the series/character.
→ Icons are due to this screened post by September 12th at 11PM EST

Be sure to vote for Theme 24!

	mood	▶	sore
	music	▶	watching || unbeatable banzuke

SPAM PLZ?

im up for being entertained while im at work with sergio. its just three managers today and im gonna be b-o-r-e-d bored.

especially after im a little off from having a dream that it was my fault for the end of the world and i apologized to everyone and their mother

( i fell in love with you, and now you're gone )

Post submissions here!

1. Graphics should be no larger than 600x400 and should be in either .gif, .jpeg or .png format.

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4. Save the honoring for the submission posts. The concept of this community becomes pointless when everyone reveals who submitted the honors.

5. DO NOT SUBMIT HONORS ABOUT YOURSELF. Nobody would know (some of us could probably guess), but you'd feel pretty lousy if you needed to make yourself an honor to boost your self-esteem. If we find out you've made an honor for yourself, or if it looks like it was made for yourself, we will delete it immediately.

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The next honors will be posted by roark on Friday, September 12th. And don't forget to submit a username for the lj-cut of the week!

This week's lj-cut is dedicated to umbreon & roark!

( Thank you two for being wonderful mods! )

Taking the liberty of posting Theme 23's winners plus the banners (I hope nobody minds) so I can post up voting for Theme 24, which I shall have up in a short while. ^^

( so shut my eyes, kiss me goodbye, and sleep )

• To vote, reply normally to this screened post with the number of your one (1) favorite icon
• Do not vote for your own entry; do not ask others to vote for entry either.
• The themes of this challenge can be found here.
• Voting ends on Sunday, Sept. 7th at 5:00 PM EST.

( click here to vote )

	mood	▶	blah
	music	▶	Everclear; Everything To Everyone

::Waves:: First, I'd like to thank Vi for setting up our easy add all feature. Thank you so much, darling. ♥

Secondly, I haven't seen a lot of activity and Vi mentioned to me...we do have a lot of male characters, so I'm opening up character limits to from 5 to 8...so maybe we can get some females in here. I know I'll be signing up as a girl very soon. :D

I know a lot of you were satisfied with 5 and I do appreciate your opinions...know that, okay? ♥ Let's get some serious playing done! :)

	mood	▶	bored
	music	▶	21st century - koi no senshi ja irarenai || sera myu

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