Welcome - July 23rd, 2008

Subject:	{Journal Entry 001}
Time:	05:37 pm
Current Mood:	depressed

What I'm feeling: sad, depressed, like a huge disappointment to my father, and an all around screw-up

I'm keeping track of my entries on here for right now until I can get to Wal-mart but even then I'll still try and post once a day or once every other day.

Today was a good day until my dad got home. He wasn't mean or anything like that I just felt so bad because I hadn't gotten the chance to shower yet because I didn't have any clean pants washed yet. Then he goes out to mow the grass and I start feeling even worse because I should have mowed at least some of the yard yesterday or the day before but lately I've been feeling so fatigued and run down that I don't think I had the energy to do so. So I kept going with the laundry until I had plenty of my dad's clothes washed and at least a load of mine and Toby's but yet I still feel as if I hadn't/haven't done enough. The house is sort of in a chaotic mess right now but it's on my list of things to do this week/end. On Friday I need to head to Wal-mart for groceries and tomorrow I'm going to the mall to fill out some applications and hopefully score an interview.

I just feel as if my dad thinks that I'm not doing anything on purpose. I'm not. I do try and get out during the day but it's so hot outside that even with all four of my windows rolled down it doesn't cool off! So I normally wait until after 4 or 5pm to go do my running this way it's cooler and I'm not as miserable in my black car. Though when school starts up again I'm going to be miserable for a little while especially if it doesn't start getting cooler by the end of August. Either way I might be miserable in the winter time too because I'm not sure when it's going to snow but hopefully it'll be nice and wait until after I get done with my classes in December.

*sigh* I better go now. My clothes just got finished drying so I'm going to go hop in the shower and head out to Wal-mart to pick up water, paper plates, a size J crochet hook, and try to find a decent journal.

I'm going to be leaving these entries public just in case I need to access them from a different computer and this way I won't have to sign in to read them. So if I get flamed for these, which I don't know why I would but you just never know with some of the people on here, I really don't care. If that person has nothing better to do than to flame someone for typing out their feelings based on a counselors' suggestion then they truly have no life whatsoever.

This has nothing to do with my journal entry but both of my mood themes are GONE. WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK! I didn't remove them and I thought I had the FOB up and running on here but apparently not either way my I think I still had my Vampire Knight theme up. My poor brain. Looks like I have a lot of work to do on this journal.

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