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| New quiz time! This is good news indeed. Where did you get the pants your wearing? My closet. Honestly, I've had these since elementary school-- I have no idea where they're from. Who are you more like, your mom or your dad? I can't answer that. I don't know that much about either of them to make an assessment. Do you chew gum like a cow? I have no idea what that means, and I sure hope I don't. Is it okay to like someone else when you have a girlfriend/ boyfriend? I'm ace-neutrois, so I can't really talk... but assuming you mean 'like' in the romantic sense, it's not okay if you're already committed to someone else and consider 'cheating' or however you put it. What do you like more, fruits or veggies? Vegetables. Fruits are awesome but sometimes they're too sweet. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I might but I can't think of anyone right now. Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? I wish to God that I did. Were you happy when you woke up today? I'm always happy when I get up. I have a new day ahead of me. You have to get a piercing, what do you get? Ears. That way I can wear my Chaos earrings to SoS! *rimshot* Do you miss anyone? Always, my friend. Always. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes, as far as I know. I try hard. Who was the last person you rode in a car with? Not counting Selph, that would be my three brothers. I drove them home from piano lessons the other day. What woke you up this morning? I think my brother Viral did, but I'm not sure. When was the last time you talked to a sibling? About an hour ago; I've been talking to them all day but now I'm the only one left awake. Not cool. What jewelery are you currently wearing? Just a scapular and a Pikachu pedometer. I don't typically wear jewelry. What is a compliment you receive often? "You're so nice/ polite/ considerate/ etc.!" It'd be funny if it didn't insinuate that said people aren't used to such behavior. Do you look more like your mom or your dad? My mom. We're frighteningly similar in appearance. What was last thing you drank? Water, as always. Are you happy right now? I suppose so. I'm just very tired. Who makes you happiest right now? Melody and Dori. ^^ Dori because she updated and Mel as I'm talking to her right now! When was the last time you cried really, really hard? Two days ago? My grandmother had an emotional breakdown and it hit me hard. Tell me the truth, why did you fall in love with your last ex? I don't have any ex's on principle, but I fall in love based on who a person truly is. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? Yes sir! My current 3 best friends all fit that category. Has anyone said they love you in the last week? To me? Just my grandmother. Could you go the rest of your life without doing any drugs? Watch me, my friend! Have you faced any of your fears lately? I beat one-- my singing in public, haha! We got Rock Band for Christmas and I had no other choice. Have you ever kissed under water? I've kissed someone who looks like he's made of water, but... *rimshot* Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? Sure, why not? Has anyone told you they don't ever wanna lose you? Yes. It means more to me than I can ever hope to express. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? "Why the heck does my hair always end up like that?" Who's car were you in last? My grandparents'. I don't have my own car. What are you doing tomorrow? Probably sketching plushie patterns. I'm having a lot of fun, which I need. Have a best friend? Yes, thank God. Have you ever liked anyone that treated you like crap? Yeah, I can't really dislike people anyway. Ironically, the people that treated me 'like crap' as a kid are the people I adore to this day. You can't hold grudges based on transient behavior. They're all amazing kids now. Want something you can't have? The only thing I 'want' and can't have is an ace girlfriend... not as long as I'm living in this house. What did you do today? I sewed a bat plushie out of leftover material. I named him Niko. What is bothering you? My future, as always. Also the time. When was the last time you laughed really hard? This morning-- Viral and I spontaneously watched "The Stupids" on TV and we were dying of laughter. Do you like the song 'I will follow you into the dark' by Death Cab for cutie? I haven't heard that song, unfortunately... but I have heard "What Sarah Said," and that is amazing. Your best friend likes your last "ex", what do you say? I don't mind; why should I? If you were kicked out of your current residence whom would you call? Jacob or my dad; they're the only two people I have to turn to. If your number 1 needed you at 3 in the morning would you go? Yes, as long as I could wake up, haha. I sleep like a rock. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Yes, a lot of people. You know me. Your phone is ringing. It's your ex. What do you say? "How've you been?" If your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care? Yes, I'd worry about their health most of all. What makes you mad about most girls? Most of the girls I've been exposed to have been materialistic, flippant, shallow, perverted, etc. Maybe I'm just unlucky, but it is making me a little misogynistic. Either way, I typically don't get along well with women, as I have no idea how to deal with them. Who's the first person you text today? I don't text. Was last night terrible? No, I don't even remember it. When will your next kiss be? God only knows; I've only ever had 3 and they were all in dreams. Who's the last person you talked to? My mom; she just wandered into the kitchen to remind me of the awful time. Do you like water? Yes sir, very much. Is the last person you hugged older than you? No; that was Viral, and he's one year younger than I am. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 6 at the least (3 bros and 3 buds). Where were you Saturday at 10pm? Saturday? I was playing Rock Band with my brothers. It was the day after Christmas! It's 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? Heaven only knows, as said cell phone is nonexistent! Are any of your friends are so close that you consider them family? Most of my good friends, actually. Are you good at giving directions? I try, but I'm not all that great at it. What does your mom call you? As always, it depends on her mood. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? A few times. Ironically, it's usually because someone else told me to to it. Is it awkward when you run into your ex's? I wouldn't know; I don't have any! Do you treat others as you'd like to be treated? Yes, that's one of my life rules. Has someone ever told you they will love you forever? Yes. It's pretty stunning. Do you hate being alone? At home? No. In the world, with no contacts or support? Yes. What would happen if you were suddenly in bed with the last person who you text? Thank God I don't have a cell phone, right? Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for? Yes, I do. If you were 12 and you could see yourself now, would you be disappointed? All I would want to know is: "Are you still working on Dream World?" and "Do you still like Pokemon?" As those are both affirmatives, I would be happy, haha! Geez, but putting those facts aside, my life was amazing when was 12... Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? Yes, and God only knows how much so... Who did you have a meaningful conversation with last? Me? I can't remember. Most of the important messages I've received lately have been through my own research. Who was the last person you hugged? My brother Viral, which you already know as you asked this question earlier. What's the last secret someone told you? People don't tell me secrets. Name four girls you talked to today. My mom, my grandmother, Melody, and... I think that's it. Can you go a month without swearing? Why yes I can. How many TRUE friends do you have? A handful, I think. I hope so. What's on your bedroom floor right now? Boxes of stuff to give away, and everything else belongs to my mom. I share a room, remember. What are you listening too? Nothing, but "I'm Glad There Is You" by Tony Bennett is stuck in my head. Do you like texting? Please, no more texting questions. Who was your first text this morning? *releases the hounds* Are you starting to realize anything? Yes, actually. Many important things. Is there a girl that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? Too many loopholes there! But yes, there are a few girls I would do almost anything and everything for. Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No sir, it's a boy cut. If you were outside and a red car drove by and started shooting up your block what would you do? I would be baffled as I do not live on a block, let alone near a road where a car could drive by. Do you have any text messages that you don't want other people reading? What have you done with my hounds?? Do you keep any secrets from your best friend? Yes. However, they are secrets that must be kept. Did you have a good birthday this year? I got a Jayce hat, Klonoa for Wii, a heart/star belt, and a custom cake. It was brilliant. Is there a boy that you would do absolutely everything for? Ditto what I said about the girls earlier, buddy. What's upset you the most in the past week? The fact that I might seriously have to pull out of college to be admitted into a psychological facility. Can you live a day without TV? Yes, I often do. Has anyone laid on your bed besides you? I've shared a bed with my grandmother since I was a baby, so yes. Would you rather dye your hair or go tanning? I don't tan, so I'd just dye my hair red again. Is sex before marriage okay? I don't think it is, no. The fact that I loathe sex in every aspect has little to do with that. Is there anyone you wish to fix things with? Yes, and I pray that I will get that chance. Do you really know how heartbreak feels? Yes. Do you tend to hold things against people? No, I do my best to always forgive. And now it's 2AM so I am getting the heck to sleep oh man | ||||||||
comments: Leave a comment   |
chances are i'm half awake
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January 6th, 2010
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Pretty good, although it's 1AMJuly 21st, 2009
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| Dude how is it already 12AM? Geez. Still, I spent 9 hours in my favorite cafe today, typing nonstop, and I got an amazing amount of work done on DW-P11. I'm also finally at the part where I get to write for some of my favorite characters; I freaking love those guys and I've been waiting since 2002 to write them in! Anyway my friend General-Grievous101 on dA posted this so now it's time for a SONIC QUIZ OH MAN - THE SONIC QUIZ!!! - Theme no 1. - You and Sonic 1. Who are you? Jewel W. Lightraye, actually. Can't change that fact no matter what. 2. How did you first get into the World of Sonic? I think it was when my grandfather randomly bought a Genesis back when I was a tiny kid; our first game was Sonic 2 and we had no clue what it was! Man but it was fun. I have such good memories of just running through Chemical Plant on summer afternoons... 3. How long have you been a Sonic fan? At least 10 years, I know that for a fact because I vividly remember playing the original Sonic Adventure demo in stores (as Knuckles, because he was my best buddy a kid). It's probably closer to 12 years as a total, though. Theme no 2 - Games 1. The greatest Sonic game(s) you've ever played was..? Oh man, I can't answer that! Sonic CD is insanely fun (even when it makes you want to eat the controller in frustration), but both the Sonic Adventure installments are a close second. Sonic Battle was also incredibly addictive, and of course I still enjoy Sonic 2. 2. The worst Sonic game(s) you played was...? I enjoy them all, actually. They all have their good qualities. 3. Which was the first Sonic game you ever played? Sonic 2 for the win! 4. ...And which year was that? Geez, maybe 1997? I have no clue; it was ages ago. 5. For you, Which Sonic game has the best soundtrack? The original 3, and the 3 Advance games. Classic style. Still, the Japanese version of Sonic CD is a very close second once again. 6. List your favorite song(s) from any Sonic game. I'll do so in layman's terms, haha. There's a lot. These are only from games I've played, mind you (except for that one Unleashed song). -The original 1991 Green Hill and Special Stage music from Sonic The Hedgehog -"When We Reach You ~Could It Be Right~" from the Japanese version of Sonic CD (It's a remix of Cosmic Eternity) -The music for Meteor Herd and Death Chamber in Sonic Adventure 2 (YA DAMN RIGHT KNUCKLES) -The first Aquatic Base stage in Sonic The Hedgehog 2006 (which I still call Sonic 360) -The nighttime 'Jungle Joyride' music in Sonic Unleashed -The Japanese version of Palmtree Panic's 'Good Future' in Sonic CD... BUT BACKWARDS -The Japanese version of Palmtree Panic's 'Bad Future' in Sonic CD -The Japanese special stage music in Sonic CD (which I thought was Metal Sonic's theme for years before I played it) -The Extra final boss music in Sonic Advance -The 'Theme Of SEGA Carnival' in Sonic Riders -The Aquatic Mine music in Sonic Adventure 2 -Tikal's and E102's themes in Sonic Adventure -The 'Tricky Maze' music in Sonic Adventure -The Cyber Track map and first zone music in Sonic Advance 3 -The Special Stage music in Sonic Advance 3 -The credits music in Sonic Advance 3 -Chaos Zero's battle theme in Sonic Battle (The real name for this song is Blackboard Eraser, oddly enough) -The 'Extras' jazzy piano music in Sonic 360 -The credits music in Sonic Advance -The Desert Palace and Chrome Gadget multiplayer music in Sonic 3 -Chemical Plant and Casino Night in Sonic 2. Everyone loves them. -Big the Cat's theme in Sonic Adventure (hey, it makes me SMILE LIKE CRAZY.) -Also, Super Sonic's theme in Sonic 3, just for the heck of it. It's an auditory sugar high. -The Electric Night Zone music in Sonic Riders 3 *shot* 7. Your favorite level/zone all the time is...? Probably Meteor Herd and the Grind Race mini-stage (both multiplayer) in Sonic Adventure 2... the first because of the awesome mid-air exploration, and the second because of JUMPING OFF THE RAILS YEAH 8. Which console do you prefer playing Sonic games on? Gamecube or Genesis. 9. Did you ever get Sonic Unleashed, if yes, What is/was your opinion on it? Don't have it yet; no money. Might get it for Christmas or something if I have spare cash left over from my Chao plush. 10. Are you excited for Sonic & the black knight? Eh, no real opinion, as I've had other things on my mind lately. I haven't played it, but I hope it's not too bad. 11. The rumor for a second Mario & Sonic was true. Are you going to get it? Unfortunately, no. I'm not much of a gamer. 12. A /quote/level/song/something else from a Sonic game you won't forget: Quote: "The servers are the seven Chaos Emeralds. Chaos is power, enriched by the heart. The controller is the one who unifies the chaos." That's the 'legend' from Sonic Adventure. I'm getting the second part of that as a freaking tattoo one day, mark my words. Level: Both Meteor Herd in Sonic Adventure 2, because it holds some real personal significance for me; and Mystic Cave in Sonic 2, because it gave us SUCH BAD MEMORIES WHAT WAS WITH THOSE SPIKE PITS FFFFFFFF Song: The original Special Stage music. I've re-written that so many times over the years; I just love it. Pure and simple stuff. Something else: Chaos Zero. Theme no 3. - Characters 1. Your very first favorite character was : KNUCKLES! (I was partial to Tails before that, but Knuckles was definitely my first 'fave.') 2. Why was he/she your very first favorite? Because he was red, had spiky hair, and was an overall cool dude. Also Lego shoes. 3. Your current favorite character now: Chaos Zero. ♥ 4. Your current second favorite character now: Shade the Echidna because she is so cute it hurts. Otherwise it's Big the Cat! 5. Is there any character(s) you think was unnecessary? No, but I COULD HAVE DONE JUST FINE WITHOUT THE SPIKE PITS 6. If you could bring back one old school character, Who would that be? Tiara Boobowski. She has a ton of potential, I think, but I'm just afraid she'd clash too harshly with Amy. 7. Are you sick of SEGA throwing in so many new characters lately? Yes, because the poor characters are becoming nothing but 'plot devices' instead of real individuals, if you know what I mean... but I still love the new guys. I wouldn't mind adding more new characters if they weren't being tossed so quickly as well. 8. Name some characters you really dislike? I think they all have their good qualities, but I dislike Robotnik the most because of his motives. If he wasn't written so comically most of the time, he'd be a serious threat... thus, Sonic Inversion! 9. Why do you dislike them? Well, it's basically because of what I just said... but I also have a sore spot because of the end of Sonic Adventure. Theme no 4 - What if.... 1. Eggman was your long lost grandfather, How would you react? I'd be a little shaken up, but if there were Robotniks in my family tree, that means I'm also somehow related to Shadow, I guess. THAT'S PRETTY COOL 2. Rouge told you she had feelings for you, What would you do? "Sorry, Rouge, but I really don't think it would work out at all..." (I do like Rouge, though. She's cool.) 3. Sonic was walking around in your town.. And you saw him, What would you do? Get over the initial shock, grin like a maniac for a minute, and then walk over to the blue guy and have a conversation about those good old days, yes sir. Also I'd let him know (again) how fantastically awesome he is. 4. Knuckles was in your shower.. would you kick him out? Nah. Echidnas need baths too. 5. Silver said he wanted your food because he was hungry, Would you give him the food? YES, how could you resist that fluffy fiend? He can eat everything in the fridge if he wants. 6. Shadow was sleeping in your bed, What would you do? Quietly close the door, run back down the hall, go outside and then laugh. That is hilariously adorable somehow. 7. Vector asked where the computer room is, Would you answer him? I would stare at him with eyes of ANGST. Then I would show him all five of our computer rooms 8. Espio wanted to hug you, would you accept that? Course I would! Espio is awesome. 9. Blaze said you had nice shoes and she wanted to know where you bought them, Would you tell her where? I'd tell her I only have two pairs of shoes, but I'd still try to think of where I got them so I could tell her. 10. Jet was flirting with you.. What would you do in return? Point behind me to the angry blue dude and hear the pickup lines stop immediately, haha. Jet's a pretty cool guy, though, so I'd probably offer to still be friends or something. I'm not one for relationships anyhow. 11. Charmy wanted to play video games with you. Would you accept that? Oh man of course I would! I'm actually quite a fan of that little bee. *gets out every game system in the house* 12. Amy was the new kid in your class, Would you be her new friend? Why not? Amy's fun to be around. 13. Chip asked if he could share a pie with you. Would you say Yes? I'd give him the whole thing-- I can't eat pie; I get sick! 14. Tails was playing in the snow, would you play with him? Why yes, I would! Don't give away where I am, though, we're having a snowball fight. 15. Big wanted to take you out for fishin, Would you want that? DUDE GRAB THE FISHING RODS AND WE'LL FISH ALL FREAKING WEEKEND 16. Cream and Cheese wanted to sing on your Singstar game, Would you allow that? I would first ask who in the world bought me said game, but yes, I'd allow them to sing as much as they wanted. 17. Mephiles wanted to live in your freezer. would you allow that? DO IT. AND MAKE SURE YOU EAT ALL THE ICE CREAM, YOU'RE AS THIN AS A RAIL Theme no 5. - Random Questions 1. How do you think the future of Sonic is? It's all right; it has it's hits and it's misses. I think they're trying too hard to work with gimmicks and fads, though... I'm one of the kids who supports the old-school style (First 3, both Adventures, all 3 Advances). 2. The greatest Sonic animation you watched is: I'm actually rather uneducated as to the animations. I've sadly only seen a few minutes of the movie, almost nothing of SatAM, and virtually only the Chaos episodes for Sonic X (I bought the DVD of course). 3. Do you wish the Sonic characters were real? You know what? Yes, I do. I do support the idea of them having their own world, though, instead of living here. 4. If they were real and you could choose one character to hang out a whole day with, Who would that be? Chaos Zero, hands down. We'd make the best of every second for those 24 hours, no lie. 5. Why did you choose him/her? Because I love him, simple as that. (there is no question 6, so I shall invent one.) 6. Do you have the Japanese lyrics to SONIC DRIVE memorized? DARN STRAIGHT I DO. 7. Something you wish would happen in a Sonic game/TV show/other: In a game, I'd like to see Robotnik come up with a really evil idea-- but thankfully, one that would set the stage for a darn good plotline! 8. Have you read the Sonic comics? Some of 'em. I used to read them regularly when my local stores carried them, but that was before the 'green Knuckles' arc; that was one of the last issues I saw before they stopped carrying them. Even so, I currently own three issues of the Sonic X 'parody' series (it's great)-- three guesses which issues. 9. Do you believe in the Tails doll curse? No, but I think it's a very amusing running joke! And dude it's suddenly 2AM now... but guess who just found the Gamecube downstairs? *plugs it in and plays some SA2B multiplayer* ♥ | ||||||||||||
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![[mood icon]](http://www.scribbld.net/img/mood/aikaterina/sailer_moon_sprites/happy.gif){kind=small}
Amazing, really!June 30th, 2009
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| Yep, I thought of an interesting idea and I'm going to keep the WIP list here, because I love this journal. Top 30 Best Song Endings (from my current iTunes library!) In no particular order. I came up with this idea because some songs have endings that absolutely haunt you, that rocket a song right up to 'favorite' status thanks to a few brilliant final seconds. I decided to list my favorites right here. And yes, I agree that some songs like Billy Talent's Red Flag and Incubus' Anna Molly have great endings (plus I love those two songs), but the endings I'm listing here are the ones that made a song really stay with me, the kind that then echoed in my head for hours afterwards. Unfortunately, this doesn't work with songs that fade out! These endings are actual endings; they're a special case and that's why I'm singling them out. (Note: I'll typically add some extra seconds to the ending times so you get an idea of what the song preceding it is like.) Lastly, this is all my humble opinion. It's okay if you disagree with me; we all have our own likes and dislikes! I'll add this to my Last.fm page when I'm done, but without the links. Yep, you lucky Scribbld readers get actual webpage links to the songs. Enjoy! 1. "Broken Bones" (Aqualung) Ending starts at: 3:00 (song), 3:03 (movie) It starts with a simple but sad piano solo, which is slowly overtaken with a "bad reception" fuzz, and then ends with a sudden burst of static. I find it very moving, actually. 2. "City Of Blinding Lights" (U2) Ending starts at: 5:12 (song), 3:48 (movie) If this song starts playing on a store radio or in any other public place, I will always stop whatever I'm doing during the last 40 seconds of this song, just to hear that closing piano note. It's simply euphoric. 3. "It's About Time" (Barcelona) Ending starts at: 3:23 For some reason, I just love how the powerful chorus suddenly dissolves into a single voice with piano for the last few moments. It gives the ending a very touching feel, and the lyrics suddenly mean so much more. 4. "Echoes" (Cousteau) Ending starts at: 3:17 As if this song wasn't gorgeous enough, it had to have a perfect ending as well. The instrumental ending fades into a simple yet moving finale at 3:46, when the piano takes over and carries the echoes to the end. This song more than deserves it's spot as one of my all-time favorites. 5. "Damaged" (Danity Kane) Ending starts at: 2:54 Shocker, huh? But seriously, the only real reason I listen to this song is because of the ending. Granted, it has an entirely different feel from the rest of the track, but it's just that good. Bonus points for the pizzicato. (Trivia: I listen to this song at an 80% pitch reduction. I tried it at random one day and I now prefer it to the original.) 6. "From Bath With Love (feat. T-Lace)" (Danny Byrd) Ending starts at: 4:46 Come on, a liquid funk song that ends with not only an acoustic guitar, but also a whistled version of the melody and the sound of an actual bath draining? That's genius right there, and it's ridiculously fun to listen to. 7. "Mister Blue Sky" (Electric Light Orchestra) Ending starts at: 3:46 You knew I was going to list this. Not only is this an incredible song, but the ending is completely unexpected-- and extremely well done. They combine guitars, strings, piano, a choir, and a vocoder to create one of my favorite song endings of all time. 8. "Lupinne" (The Drowners) Ending starts at: 1:58 This ending actually begins halfway through the song, and then gradually builds up to the finale-- progressing from solemn to shouting vocals and then abruptly falling into the sound of shivering breathing. I was caught when I first heard this, and it still gets me every time. And hey, here we can forgive the fact that the last 3 seconds fade out. 9. "Desperado" (The Eagles) Ending starts at: 2:29 (song), 2:44 (movie-- watch it, it's fantastic) Sorrowful, reflective, emotional, and absolutely classic. Need I say more? 10. "Move On Now" (Hard-Fi) Ending starts at: 4:03 Very different from Hard-Fi's usual fare, this song is simply arranged and beautiful despite the subject matter. The ending is unusually haunting, though, considering that it doesn't really end-- it just trails off. The last sound you hear is that of the piano's damper pedal being released, and then the sound stops... it's a very unique feeling. 11. "Let's Talk Turkey" (Ima Robot) Ending starts at: 2:25 I won't give away exactly how this one ends, but I'll just say that it makes me smile every single time. 12. "The Moment I Said It" (Imogen Heap) Ending starts at: 2:56 Just listen to this one right now. Seriously. The ending borders on surrealism with it's use of unique sounds and harmonies, but it's those freaking chords starting around 4:12 that get me every time. They can give me chills on a perfectly sunny day, I swear. 13. "Here In My Room" (Incubus) Ending starts at: 3:09 Forgive me, but the harmonies in this song are incredible enough to make me want to feature the whole song, not just the ending. However, the final minute of this song is quite interesting-- they basically repeat one line while the instruments fade out around them. It's surprisingly well done, though, and downright hypnotizing to the point where I keep hitting 'rewind' just to hear it again. 14. "Beady Eyes On The Horizon" (Jukebox The Ghost) Ending starts at: 3:14 (song), 7:33 (movie-- this song doesn't start until 4:05) Listen to the piano accompaniment in this thing. Seriously, it just makes the ending-- but I have to admit, my favorite part of it is simply the last 20 seconds, with those simple yet foreboding final words and lingering last note. The perfect ending to this song. 15. "Can't Stop Now" (Keane) Ending starts at: 2:40 Beautiful song, and another one of those with the 'surprise' endings. The mood completely switches once the piano kicks in, and the final surge of instruments during the last 40 seconds is simply gorgeous to hear. I really don't know how else to describe it; it's truly a memorable ending for me. (Trivia: This song will forever remind me of General Grievous because I listened to it almost daily in 2005-- the same year I was obsessed with the General.) 16. "This River Is Wild" (The Killers) Ending starts at: 3:31 An amazing song in every respect... but the last 30 seconds of this used to make me tear up, seriously. I don't know if it's just their stark contrast in sound to the rest of the track, but they sure sound fantastic in there, and that's why this song is on the list. 17. "Saigo No Mameshiba" (Maaya Sakamoto) Ending starts at: 1:41 Unusual pick? Maybe, but this song has an absolutely beautiful ending. It starts with that string section and the fast rhythm, sure, but they quickly fade to leave just the piano notes-- and what sounds like a music box-- echoing for the last 40 seconds. It's simplicity at it's best. 18. "What I Gotta Do" (Macy Gray) Ending starts at: 2:32 ... 19. "Blue" (Mai Yamane) Ending starts at: 4:06 ... 20. "Ao no Ether" (Megumi Nakajima) Ending starts at: 3:01 ... 21. "Eternally Missed" (Muse) Ending starts at: 5:29 ... 22. "Northern Girl" (Orson) Ending starts at: 2:33 ... 23. "Still Grey" (Pendulum) Ending starts at: ... 24. "Pluvius Aestivus" (Pain of Salvation) Ending starts at: ... 25. "LAST DINOSAUR" (The Pillows) Ending starts at: ... 26. "I'm Shakin'" (Rooney) Ending starts at: 2:40 ... 27. "Only A Fool Would Say That" (Steely Dan) Ending starts at: ... 28. "Experiments In Mass Appeal" (FROST*) Ending starts at: ... 29. "Smile" (Michael Jackson) Ending starts at: ... 30. "Big Julie" (Jarvis Cocker) Ending starts at: 2:56 (song), 2:26 (movie) Saving the best for last. I adore this song, and the ending is nothing short of amazing. Jarvis takes the building chorus and keeps it running, turning it into a driving finale which ends on a cymbal crash and a few simple words. It's beautifully brilliant, and my description doesn't do it justice-- go buy the song! 31: BONUS: "No Jokes - Fact" (Hot Hot Heat) Ending starts at: 0:00. It's the whole freaking song. For being stuck in the middle of an album (and right between my two favorite songs, no less), this tiny little track is simply beautiful. I've picked up a habit of burning it as the last track on most of my CDs, and listening to it as the ending song for my day. 32: SECOND BONUS: "Family Theme Waltz" (Sondre Lerche) Ending starts at: 0:00. Yet another little gem. ... That's it for now... class tomorrow and I'm still feeling sick. | ||||||||||
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June 24th, 2009
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| I'm really wishing I had a better life right about now. I'm doing silly little things to cheer myself up... coloring SI artwork and watching my brother play Team Fortress 2, mainly... but I just can't get the worries out of the back of my mind. I need to get out of this house. I need another job, I need money for a car and an apartment and college, I need to pass college... I need to find someplace safe, I need to find a purpose in the future... I have class again tomorrow but I just feel so agonizingly dead. I want to just sneak off to Borders afterwards and sit in the cafe with Selph, a latte, and my laptop for three hours or so. It would keep me away from the dangerous nightmare that is my home, and maybe I'd have some peace. 1) Are you really ready for 100 questions? Anything to clear my head from this other junk. 2) Was your last real relationship a mistake? The only 'real' relationship I've ever had was not a mistake, no, and never will be. 3) Do you believe in God? Yeah. I once went searching for a long time, as the world's twisted views and questions had me worried... but God gave me something I could hold on to despite all that. So yes, I still believe. 4) Who did you last say I love you to? I think I said it to Chaos about three days ago. 5) Do you regret it? No. It just hurts so much to look up at the sky at night and wonder, is anyone really up there? 6) Have you ever been depressed? Considering I've been diagnosed with severe depression twice, I guess it's safe to assume I am. 7) Have a best friend? A few, yes. I don't pick faves with people. 8) Are you a boy or girl? Neither. Born a girl, though, so there you go. 9) What is your relationship status? Single in the sense that I have no physical relationships (although I never consider myself single). Taken in the sense that I still consider myself devoted to several people. Bizarre in every single freaking aspect, haha. 10) How do you want to die? Martyrdom. It's the only decent way to die. 11) What did you last eat? The excuse for food we have around the house. No wonder I'm chronically sick. 12) Play any sports? No, but only because I don't like the 'serious business' vibe people give it. I love being active like that. 13) Do you bite your nails? Nope. 14) When was your last physical fight? I'd rather not say. 15) Do you have an attitude? Not that sort of attitude. If I ever do talk back to people, 90% of the time it's about my gender problem, and the other 10% is from pent-up frustration. Very pent up. That's why I tend to explode. 16) Ever been in love? Too many times, too many different ways. 17) What is your real name? I don't know anymore. 18) Like reading? Yeah, but it's hard to pay attention anymore. I haven't read much in over a year. 19) Are you gonna get high later? Only if I decide to play a Medic in TF2. OKTOBERFEEEST *cough* 20) Do you hate anyone at the moment? Julie. That's it. 21) Do you miss someone? You have no idea how much I do. 22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti? Twirl, I guess. Haven't eaten it in ages so I don't remember. 23) Do you tan a lot? I've never intentionally tanned for any reason. 24) Have any pets? Not personally, but my family has a few. 25) How exactly are you feeling? Have you ever walked into a musical auditorium at night, but it was completely soundless and empty, and all the lights were out except for a few small white spotlights above the stage? Kind of like that. 26) Ever ate food in a car while someone or yourself is driving? When I was younger, yeah. 27) Ever made out in the bathroom? First off, I don't make out. Secondly, the very thought of doing what you suggest is making me feel sicker than I already am, and for various reasons. 28) Would you take any of your exs back? Don't have any exes, thank God, but I would take them back if I had any. 29) Are you scared of spiders? Nah, I like bugs. I just don't like them crawling over me, as I read far too much Animorphs as a kid (one words: yeerks). 30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? If only to be able to re-think what I thought as a kid, then heck yes. 31) Do you regret anything from your past? So many things. 32) What are your plans for this weekend? Idk, depends on what comes up when the weekend comes around. 33) Do you want to have kids? No. Multiple vital reasons play into that and I am sick of people questioning them. 34) Ever kissed somebody that name start with an M? Nope. I'm not a kisser, and I've only done so to one person anyway, although that was in a dream. 35) Do you type fast? Only at home, ironically. In public I tend to trip up for some inane reason. 36) Do you have piercings? No, I have a stupid fear of holes and I don't like the idea of someone poking holes in me anyway. 37) Want any more? No sir. 38) Can you spell well? Yes, I've always been a good speller. 39) Do you miss anyone from your past? A ridiculous amount of people, all for different reasons. 40) What are you craving right now? Real understanding. 41) Ever been to a bonfire party? Nope. I wouldn't be much fun anyway; I've been a closet pyromaniac since my childhood, so I'd probably be staring at the fire the entire time. 42) Ever been swimming in a lake or river? I think I once swam in a lake as a kid, but I don't recall. 43) Have you ever been on a horse? No, I don't really like horses (which is ironic as my mum adores them). It's hilarious because I'm still obsessed with unicorns. No lie! 44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck? Oh man, you're cutting it dangerously close there, but no. 45) Have you ever broken someone's heart? I'm not aware of it, but judging by my stupid actions and terrible misjudgments, I probably have... and that breaks mine. 46) Are you happier single or in a relationship? In a relationship, as long as it's not physically-based. I don't like romantic/ fairytale/ touchy-feely relationships, but I can't help but platonically love a ton of people at all times. I need love in my life. 47) Have you ever been cheated on? Not that I know of, no. 48) Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Get rid of those stereotypical words and replace them with one of the terms I use, and the answer is yes. Unintentionally, though, and for odd reasons, but it still hurts horribly. 49) Would you live with someone without marrying them? I don't know; that's a loaded question. I'm okay with family, although I like being alone, but I'm so cripplingly paranoid that I don't know if I could handle living alone (I'd probably spend 95% of my time out of the house). However, marriage is out of the question due to my religiosity, and my paranoia is actually worse when I'm in any sort of non-ignorant relationship with anyone. I guess I'm just scared of myself, though. 50) What should you be doing? Sleeping/ working on my online classes/ living a better life. 51) What's irritating you right now? The fact that I'm not physically androgynous. I'm telling you, this mirror in front of me is a source of great exasperation. Also, people who quote song lyrics in the Last.fm track shoutboxes. 52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? All the time, kid. All the time. 53) Does somebody love you? I never thought I'd say so, but yes. It's stunning. 54) What is your favorite color? #DC1D1D is close. I also love black and white, green, and aqua. I can't stand earth tones (brown, yellow/ orange/ red in any combination) though. Don't know why. 55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? I was forced to do so once as a kid; I wouldn't do so now if you paid me! 56) Do you have a best friend? Repeat question, and yes I have a few. 57) Do you have trust issues? That's a twisted one. I trust people far too much, but at the same time I am chronically paranoid. For example, you know my therapists? I trust them to the point where I'll tell them far too much for my own good, and yet I'm simultaneously waiting for them to stab me or something. 58) Do you sing in the shower? No, I vehemently loathe showers/ baths/ anything which involves removing clothes. I only sing in cars. 59) Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink? No, that's just strange. 61) Are you secretly in love? Used to be, but only because I didn't realize it until several months after I was in it. Now I don't hide such things. 62) Do you think your ex secretly thinks about you? I don't have any exes, and it's no matter of mine whether or not they think of me. It's their choice. 63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? Don't recall, actually. I try not to cry unless it really means something. 64) Do you give out second chances too easily? You can say that. I simply don't hold grudges or anything like that. 65) Is it easier to forgive or forget? Forgive. My mind will forget everything except the things I want to forget. It's a proven fact. 66) Is this year the best year of your life? Not by a long shot, no. 67) What was your childhood nickname? Didn't have one. I was a lonely kid. 68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? No, and I never plan to. 69) Do you think your a good person? In some aspects, mostly the 'non-personal' ones. In the personal aspects, meaning those that deal with my own self and my own actions, I am an absolute idiot. 70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yes. 71) MIA? No, but In a few cases I'd like to be. 72) What is on your mind? Self-disgust, barely repressed terror, some sort of anger, and a lot of pain. 73) What is bothering you? At this exact moment? The facts that I am 1) out of shape, 2) still cursed with stereotypical expectations, 3) my lack of self control, 4) my laziness, 5) my habit of making promises I can't ever possibly keep, 5) the time. 74) Have you ever been out of state? A few times, but only within the USA (and in the states nearest to us). 75) Do you play Wii often? No, I'm not much of a frequent gamer. Too much work! I typically play Klonoa, Pokemon and NiGHTS on it, though. 76) Are you listening to music right now? Yes, I have my Last.fm library on radio. It's currently playing "Smile Like You Mean It" by The Killers. I've always loved this song, actually. 77) Do you like Chinese food? No, I don't like food much in general, and eating out is not a favorite pastime of mine. 78) Do you know your fathers b-day? Unfortunately, no. My family never made a fuss over it, but I know it's in either October or early November. 79) Are you afraid of the dark? Not typically, but if I'm in a potentially dangerous place and I can't see, then yeah I'm going to be afraid of the dark. 80) Is cheating ever okay? Not in any sense I'm aware of. 81) Are you mean? I have the potential to be mean (we all do), but I choose not to be. It goes against who I want to be, and who I am inside. 82) Can you keep white shoes clean? I wouldn't know; I only wear black shoes! 83) Have you noticed this survey stopped getting personal? No, I'm just answering the questions, and I forget what 99% of them were already. Fun stuff though. 84) Do you believe in true love? Yes, but I believe that it's also very rare and typically mislabeled. Lust is NEVER love, obsession/ infatuation isn't love, and in my opinion romance isn't love either. My definition of true love is rare, and I don't know if I really have it or not. I hope to God that I do, because it really feels like it sometimes. 85) Are you proud of the person you've become? Quite the opposite... I am sickened, saddened, furious, and almost entirely out of patience with the mistake I've become. 86) Do you want to change? More than anything else in the world. 87) Who was the last person to make you mad? Me. 89) Are you currently bored? No, I'm just somewhat empty. 90) Do you want to get married? No. Too many strings there. 91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No, I personally find it 1) creepy, 2) disrespectful, 3) personally nauseating, 4) apt to get you punched in the teeth if I'm unhinged enough (which I hope to never be, honest). 92) Are you hungry? I rarely ever get hungry, but I'm chronically thirsty. Problem is, I eat so freaking much that I can barely ever choke any drinks down, so it's a very frustrating cycle. 93) Do you have a bank account? Yes I do. I wish I knew how to manage it better, though. I'll have to teach myself. 94) What makes you happy? Chaos Zero, Jewel Monsters, every single world in my head, talking on Skype, music in general, hanging out at the local Borders cafe, driving to/from class and pretending that I have no real destination, rainy days, photographs, and all this stuff, straight from my Youniverse profile: Sitting in coffeeshops all evening with a sketchbook, piano chords, walking in the rain, smiling at people I'll never know, pinstripe suits, cathedrals, fedoras, cyberpunk/ rave/ extremely unique outfits, outcasts, gemstones, saxophone solos, red hair and freckles, driving in the sunshine with the volume turned up high, jester hats, insects, graffiti and breakdancing, espionage novels, original character tournaments, superheroes with their hearts in the right place, monsters and mythical creatures, moonlit oceans, giant robots, Gimmelwald, typing too much, talking to my muse, old school sugary cartoons, creepy watercolor/ink paintings, glitter, wandering through the woods for hours, flying dreams, natural sunlight instead of lightbulbs, parallel universes, staying up until 3AM and listening to music, wandering through dreams, thinking about impossibilities until the room starts spinning, chaos theory, the butterfly effect, the starfish principle, streetlights, falling in love with girls in photographs, falling in love with monsters in video games, seeing the world through the eyes of a child, daring to believe in your imagination, and appreciating the little things in life. 95) Would you change your name? I've been planning to since my childhood, but I don't know what to change it to anymore. It feels like my 'real' name has been dirtied by my mistakes, but the name I was given at birth makes me sick. I'm still holding fast to Jewel Lightraye though, on the inside. 96) Ever been to Alaska? No, but I might go there one day. I'm a hopeless wanderer. 97) Are you paranoid? Extremely. I don't show it though, like many other things, and hence my skewed psychiatric test results. 98) Do you watch the news? Whenever I'm able to. I want to stay up-to-date on the world. 99) What is your zodiac sign? I'd rather not say; it makes me ill. I just pretend I don't have an age most of the time. 100) Do you like subway? No, I don't like eating out very much. Taking another one because I just want to stay in this little music bubble for a little while longer. Currently "nothing i ever imagined" by dead mellotron, in case you're wondering. The text changes every time I copy/paste something, amusingly enough... Are you saving money for anything? If so, what? I'm long-term saving for college, super-long-term saving for surgery, and short-term saving for this shirt and this shirt. (I'll probably snag 'em on Tuesday or something.) Is there anyone you would really like to see right now? Not right now, with how awful I feel-- plus I look like a vagabond, which I might very well be. Do you listen to Punk Goes Acoustic? Never heard of them, sorry. I am currently listening to Jeff Beck, though. Do you have any plans for this week? I have classes tomorrow, work Friday/Sunday, class Saturday and tons of artwork to finish in the meantime, so yes I'm busy. Do you have a Facebook account? I have one for the purposes of keeping in touch with my super-old acquaintances (think elementary school), but I rarely ever use it. What are you wearing? Red snowflake pajamas, strangely enough. I don't like pajamas (too loose!) and rarely wear them; I typically sleep in jeans and a t-shirt. But the red snowflake pajamas are my Sandman pajamas and therefore I will wear them, yessir. Do you like your family? I love them dearly but I don't like their attitudes. They hurt. Do you play guitar? If so, what type? I'm trying to learn acoustic, but I'm having trouble with it due to my awful memory and bad joints. Do you have a religion? I'm Roman Catholic, but there's corruption/ misinterpreted ideas/ etc. in every religion so you have to be careful. It's tough though. Are you currently in a relationship? Not in the sense you're thinking! I am in love with several amazing people, though, and 3 of them are on this lovely planet. Have you ever played the drums? No, but oh man I am dying to. I've always wanted to play drums for some weird reason. Do you know anyone in a band? My brother's guitar teacher is an extremely well-known artist in our area, and I was in the same graduating class as these kids, haha! (They're absolutely amazing, by the way.) I'd freaking love to be in a band myself, but unfortunately I'm a schizoid (and I'm not a fan of the fact that I have a feminine voice and therefore a higher range). People have never wanted to associate with me much anyway. I can hope though. How is your heart doing? I can't feel it much anymore... that is, unless it's killing me with inexplicable physical and/or emotional pain. What is the last thing you ate? Useless junk with sugar in it, so not only did Julie hack me (she always does, I don't know why I never learn) but I'm now physically sick as a result. What are you doing today? Seeing as it's 12:19 AM, I will be going to class at 10AM, finishing my health homework and therapy papers when I get home, coloring the rest of Virus 207, exercising and maybe drawing some TF2 stuff if the motivation hits me. I just wish that, for ONCE in my life, my family would let me keep my own schedule. Sour Patch Kids or Trolli Eggs? Neither; not only does sugar make me physically weak, dizzy, and nauseous, but sour candies give me migraine-like headaches. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? I actually have an extremely strong fear of that subject in general, so thank God no I don't know anyone. Do you listen to mainstream music? Sometimes, yes. I'm more into stuff like Erast, Midicronica, J-MACHine and Cousteau though. Do you ever drink energy drinks? No, unless Vitamin Water counts. Then yes, I drink that stuff (mainly this and this) like mad. Does your hair curl when it's humid? Used to, but since I cut it short it doesn't curl much anymore, thank goodness. I'm cutting it even shorter next month, even though my parents are no longer supportive of it, haha. Eh, but I'm still kind of dead. Oh well. Current song is "Broadway Alien" by 3, and I absolutely adore this song, so once it's over I guess I'll just get some sleep. Hope you're all doing okay. | ||||||||||
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tired of everything.June 13th, 2009
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| Yeah, just a random public update. This quiz is from deviantART. I'll probably take another one of D's quizzes later this week... Eh, felt like filling this out. FIRST REAL BEST FRIEND: Um... no idea. Although, the three best friends I've ever had are Jacob, Jimmy, and Ben. FIRST SCHOOL: Confidential, aha! FIRST CELL PHONE: A red one with dragon designs, way back in 2003 or so. I put Pokemon stickers on it. FIRST FUNERAL: I... it might have been Sister Symphrose's. I was 6 when she died. FIRST PET: Peaches, my miniature collie! Bless her, she was a lovely dog. FIRST BIG TRIP: My family took me on a huge trip out West when I was barely a year old. Don't remember it, but apparently I almost died at one point, haha. Unfortunate almost-accident. FIRST FIGHT: The only real fight I've ever had was with my bro, Viral, when I was in 3rd grade. Still regret it. FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH: No one, unless you count cartoon characters! Then it's Nightcrawler from X-Men. FIRST TIME OUT OF THE COUNTRY: Canada. I'm still bent on visiting the UK and maybe Singapore. LAST PERSON HUGGED: My little brother, Excalibur! LAST CAR RIDE: This evening; I had work until 10PM. LAST TIME I CRIED: My eyes watered up earlier today. Pure heartache. LAST MOVIE I WATCHED: Wolverine, in theaters! LAST FOOD I ATE: Tofu? That or an orange. LAST ITEM BOUGHT: I bought 2 orange Vitamin waters at work, and an iTunes gift card last week. Still have $16 left. LAST SHIRT WORN: Black one with a copper-glitter Rorschach-test design (home)/ black one with a silver studded fleur de lis (work). LAST PHONE CALL: My dad, yesterday morning. LAST TEXT MESSAGE: I've never received one! LAST THING I TOUCHED: The keyboard and my Wacom tablet. I'm typing, geez! LAST FUNERAL: I think it was my cousin's.. LAST TIME AT THE MALL: About two months ago-- finally bought TF2 for my PC! Yeah! LAST TIME I WERE EXCITED FOR SOMETHING: When I found a gold mine of new Chaos Zero pics on dA today, haha. LAST PERSON I SAW: My mom, when she was in her room about 2 hours ago. LAST THING I DRANK: Orange vitamin water (the 30-cal a bottle kind). It's way too good. LAST PERSON WHO BROKE MY HEART: It was probably my own fault, with all my guilt... LAST TIME I WAS REALLY HONESTLY HAPPY: Taking everything into perspective... I'd say I haven't been honestly happy in years. LAST THING I DREW: Selph. Seriously, I'm coloring a quick sketch of him for secret reasons. [relationship status] Taken in several unusual ways. [parents still together] No. [siblings] Three younger brothers... and a little sister. [pets] 3 cats, a small army of ants, three crickets AND A TANK FULLA FISH FAVORITES... [color] Red, white, and black. I also like all the 'higher spectrum' colors (from green up). [number] 7, 36, 251, 0 [animal] Bats, pterodactyls, and praying mantises. LOVE THEM. [book] Catch-22. [flowers] Wisteria and lilacs. DO YOU... [have tattoos] Not yet, but I swear I'm getting at least 3. [cheat on tests] No. [like roller coasters] Used to as a kid, but now my stupid paranoia won over. [wish you could live somewhere else] In a sense. [clean] Yes sir! CURRENT: [hair] Reddish-brown, short layers. Getting it cut again this month. It's very comfortable short. [playing] Team Fortress and Half Life 2. YOU LIVE IN A VAN [rePlaying] Klonoa! [believe there is life on other planets] Wholeheartedly. [hate yourself] In a twisted sense. Wish I didn't. [collect anything] Used to collect SD Gundam figures (until they went out of production) and Pokemon items, then focused solely on Celebi. I also save the stickers off everything I buy and put them on my sketchbooks. [like your handwriting] Yep. LOVE... [first crush] Nightcrawler and Ryou Bakura, seriously. NC wasn't much, just a 'kid' thing, but Bakura... geez! [you believe in love at first sight] I believe it can definitely start there, but true love takes a heck of a lot of time. [you believe in "The One"] I don't really know. It's a weird question for souls like me, who love so many others. ARE YOU... [sarcastic] Not at all. That's not sarcasm, either! [shy] Not shy so much as being chronically unsure how to deal with people. If I knew, I'd be talking to everyone! [talkative] Around my brothers and friends, yes. Otherwise, not very much. WOULD YOU RATHER... [pierce your nose or belly button] Holes make me sick. No piercings for me. [be serious or funny] Serious. I love being funny, sure, but it only gets you so far. ABOUT YOU... [what time is it] 1:46 AM. [name] Jewel. WHAT DO YOU WANT... [where do you want to live] God only knows. [how many kids do you want] Zero, although I do love kids. [what kind of job do you want] Something that will allow me to reach out to the world. [just in general, what is it you want right now] Reconciliation, hope and an honest chance. IN THE PAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU... [bought something] Yeah, my vitamin water and a song from iTunes. I think it was "Rosey" by Hoarsebox. [gotten sick] Yes, don't know from what though. [sang] Yes-- to Gabriella Cilmi, Efterklang, Midlake and Keane. [felt stupid] Yep. [missed someone] You have no idea... [gotten drunk] No. [gotten high] KRITZKREIG [danced crazy] Nope. [gotten your hair cut] No, wish I did though. It's in my EYES. [watched cartoons/Anime] Yeah, watched some Chouja Reideen. [lied to someone] No. IN THE LAST FEW DAYS WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON THAT... [slept in your bed] My grandmother and I. We've had to share a bed since I was born. [saw a movie with you] Haven't watched any movies in the past few days. HAVE YOU EVER... [been to California] No, but Rani lives out there. [Florida] Nope, but Daisy lives over there. [been to Europe] No, but I'd sure like to! [wished you were the opposite sex] Change that to 'neither' and the answer is YES. I just want to be me, not a label. HONESTLY... 1.[honestly, what color is your underwear] Don't know, doesn't matter. Probably red anyway. 2.[honestly, what's on your mind right now] Just Jeff Beck's guitar music. It helps. 3.[honestly, what are you doing right now] Trying to relax, and wishing I knew what I did wrong. 4.[honestly, do you think you are attractive] In rare cases. I could care less though. 5.[honestly, have you done something bad today] Unfortunately, yes.. 6.[honestly, do you watch Disney Channel] Not typically, but if there's something good on, then yes I'll watch it! 7.[honestly, are you jealous of someone right now] Nope. 8.[honestly, what makes you happy most of the time] Watching the rain while listening to music, cities, dreaming, feeling like the world is made of awesome... all sorts of stuff. 9.[honestly, do you bite your nails] No. 10.[honestly, what is your mood right now] Tired, in the emotional sense. 11.[honestly, what do you want to see at this very moment] "Listening now." 12.[honestly, do you have a deep dark secret] Yes. 13.[honestly, do you hate someone right now] No. 14.[honestly, are you satisfied with life] Not really. Not yet. 15.[honestly, do you like someone] Too much. 16.[honestly, does anyone like you] Yes, thank God. EVERYONES CONFESSIONS... [ ] I still watch cartoons on Saturdays. (the good cartoons went off air years ago) [ ] I eat Froot Loops [ ] I go trick or treating. (only because I can't eat candy!) [ ] I've taken a bubble bath in the last month [ ] I have water balloon fights with my friends [x] I still believe in Santa (the real one's out there somewhere!) [x] Mommy's still the coolest person ever [x] Sleep till noon (not on purpose; I'm just always tired nowadays) [ ] I still pass out little Valentines Day cards on Valentines Day. [ ] The boy/girl that sits next to me is cute [ ] I still drink apple juice [x] There are monsters under my bed (and I kiss 'em goodnight, too) [ ] I can't sleep with the lights off [ ] I can't sleep with the lights on [ ] I still like piggy back rides [ ] Boys/girls still have cooties Aw man, and I forgot to watch Craig Ferguson tonight. And he always cheers me up, too... darn. That's terribly upsetting for some reason. I'll have to watch the episode on Youtube tomorrow or something... Geez, I feel like a raindrop... good night. | ||||||||||
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detached.May 6th, 2009
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| You know what? Here's another quiz. I really enjoy these things. First Name: Jewel Middle Name: Wisteria Last Name: Lightraye Age: 19 Gender: Female, but I just ignore that and say 'nothing.' Eye color: Brown. Would like white contacts for fun. Hair color: Naturally dark brown, but I frequently dye it slightly red. Nicknames: J, Spinny, Spinzor, Cannon, Jam, cyberface Birthplace: That's a secret, kids! Birth date: May 1990 Time of day you were born: 6PM, I think. I was also 3 months premature. Height: 5'8" Shoe size: I have no idea and I don't really mind. Right or left handed: Right. Zodiac sign: Taurus. Job: Dream World Ambassador, haha. I'm also an artist/ writer/ musician/ idea bomb. Single or taken: Taken but open to anyone who needs me; always have been and always will be. Family Name and age of father? Starts with a J; 54 I think. Name and age of mother? Starts with an S; 51 Are your parents still together? No. Do you get along with your parents? I try extremely hard, and usually do, but I screw up a lot. Also my father is never around and my mother works most of the time. Which one is more strict? My mother. Names and ages of siblings? Viral: 17, Excalibur: 15, Ranndall: 15. All pseudonyms! Do you get along with your siblings? Extremely well. Pets? Four cats: Banshee, Sweetie, Taffy, and Delilah Samson Feathercake. Cutie (my little fluffball) and Patches have passed away, God bless 'em... Education What school do you go to? A local university. What grade are you in? Freshman. 13th, if you want to use numbers that way. Whats your GPA? No idea... but I hope to God it's good enough. Do you want to go to college? I'm in it, and I want to get my diploma come hell or high water. I need a future. If so, where? I'm very happy with my current campus, but I'm still undecided on my major... so I might eventually switch to some other university/ college/ what have you. No idea what or where, though. Are you... Good at reading people? Rarely. I'm too naive in that respect, which is why I frequently don't understand sarcasm. Too nice for your own good? Very, very often. Stubborn? When the thing I'm being stubborn about is important or vital, yes. Otherwise I'm surprisingly movable. Shallow? I hope not. A pansy? Not sure what that means. Arrogant? Oh heck no. Short? Nope. Freakishly tall? Nope. An atheist? No sir! Always mad? No, but I'm chronically upset with myself. Always happy? Not really, but I come extremely close! Lazy? Not that I know of. I honestly can't stand being lazy. Friendly? Oh man, I try to be, but I think I'm terrible at it... Strong? I do my absolute best. In love? Very much so. A health freak? Actually, yes. Loud? Yeah, I have a loud speaking voice. It's funny. Quiet? Ironically, yes! I only speak if spoken to, unless I'm talking to Selph or mindlessly rambling. Intelligent? Many people say I am, but I personally don't think so. Empathetic? God knows I try my absolute hardest to be. I do have some strong natural empathy, though. Talkative? If I know what I'm talking about yes! Outgoing? I can be to an extent. I surprise myself sometimes. Organized? Look at my work station, dear. It's a mess. I like to be organized though. A vegetarian? No, I eat like a real man, haha! Seriously, though, I could live as a vegetarian if I had to. Forgetful? All the... wait, what was I saying? A nerd? A little bit, but not much. I'm too mentally frantic to be one. Lactose intolerant? Yeah; it runs in my family. Athletic? Not too much, as I have arthritis and don't often breathe right, but I do what I can. I work out a lot. A pain in the ass? To several people, I've been told.. Ticklish? Yes, but it also makes me panicky, as I'm very nervous about being touched. Favorites Color? Red, black, white, green, aqua, orange. I love all colors, though. Movie? Metropolis-- the Osamu Tezuka version. It's the only movie I can remember, and it's gorgeous. TV show? I don't watch much TV, but I do enjoy Trigun, Futurama, and the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (yes I often am up that late) when I'm able to watch them. Animal? Bats, cats, chameleons, hummingbirds, stuff like that. I also love bugs (mantises!) and fish, but all animals (and the like) are awesome. Food? Currently: tofu, oranges, and Wasa crackers. I'm getting sick from a lot of other foods. Drink? Water, tea, orange Vitamin Water. Car? Doesn't matter, unless I'm driving-- then I need something to accommodate my horrible back. Day of the week? Saturday is good, but I also like Mondays. Season? Spring for the newness and green of it, Summer for the rain and the life of it, Autumn for the smell and the color of it, Winter for the feel and magic of it. Song? http://www.last.fm/user/spinningca Sport? Basketball. Radio station? The local college radio channel, because they seriously rock. I've been a fan of theirs for years. Restaurant? I don't typically eat out. Holiday? Christmas. It's full of love and redemption and sparkles. Book? "Catch-22," "The Green Mile" Flower? Everything, but I love wisteria and lilacs, as well as any 'climbing' flowers. TV channel? Sci-fi, Cartoon Network, and Comedy Central? I'm not much of a TV person. I also watch several 'criminal mystery' shows whenever I find one on, but that's few and far between. Number? 7, 0, 36, 251, 9 Type of music? Virtually everything, but I have one rule-- if the song doesn't feel like it has some sort of 'soul' written into it... I can't listen to it. It just doesn't catch me. Candy? I don't like candy. I'll sometimes look for sweet stuff, though, but that passes quickly. Scent? Rain, forests (just the smell of trees and all that), autumn, foggy mornings, plushies, spring air... mostly outside stuff. Letter? J, Q, X, R, S, K, I, Z. Ice cream flavor? Teaberry! Toothpaste? Pepsodent, but only the kind in a blue tube. Band? Most of my favorite artists aren't bands. Comic strip? The Far Side/ Brevity/ Mother Goose and Grimm/ Get Fuzzy/ Rose is Rose/ Non Sequitur... I love comics, I really do. Arcade game? Cyber Troopers! DDR is always a blast, too. Type of cheese? I'm actually not a fan of cheese. Salad dressing? Nothing, typically... but if I have to I'll just use vinegar and olive oil. Cereal? Can't eat cereal; it gets me extremely sick for some reason. Fruit? All kinds, but I'm extremely partial to oranges, apples, watermelon and blackberries. Vegetable? Tomatoes and carrots. Berry? Blackberries for the win. Actor? I quite admire the work of Nicolas Cage, Russell Crowe, and Jackie Earle Haley, even though I haven't watched many movies. Actress? Don't have a real favorite, actually. Keira Knightley is very cool, though. Month? I like all months. House color? Aqua green. Boys name? In general? Sean, Lucius, Giovanni, Xenophon, James, Angelo, etc. Girls name? Aw man, I'd be too partial with this question... still, I like Alexandria, Lephise, Rika, Tiffany, Lita, Lauren, Audra, Vontricia, Crystal, etc.! Board game? LIFE is fun from what I remember. I also used to have some sort of 'unicorn' board game when I was little... that thing was surprisingly awesome. I miss playing board games. Computer game? Starcraft and TF2! Breakfast food? At the moment? Tofu. Seriously. Soda? I've never had soda and don't plan to. Picayune would kill me if she knew. Subject in school? I enjoy Psychology, Religion, and Philosophy the most, but when I can understand Math and Programming, I absolutely love 'em. I've had bad teachers in the past though. Kind of pet? I like cats, but I don't know how good I'd be with taking care of pets all the time. Vacation spot? My backyard. Have you seen it? Then you understand! Genre of movies? Anything that will move me. Shape? Hearts and stars in combination only. Personal thing. Otherwise I like triangles and circles (not holes!). Lunch meat? No thank you; too salty. Ocean? I love all of 'em. Fairy tale? I don't know... I don't remember. I'll have to look some up. Sports team? None, don't pay attention to that. I don't dislike sports, though. Planet? Jupiter! Tree? Weeping willows and all flowering trees. Comedian? None specifically, but I enjoy watching all comedians as long as they're truly funny and not dirty. If Craig Ferguson counts, put him down. Soap opera? My grandmother watches a few, but I don't really enjoy them when I see them. Too much junk in 'em. Game show? I don't watch game shows. Fast food restaurant? None, they make me very sick. Juice? I don't drink juice; too sweet! Ninja turtle? Would you believe I never watched that show? Wish I did, though! I was a pretty 'enclosed' child. Grade you were in? SIXTH GRADE WAS DA BOMB. Also 11th, as I had the coolest Chemistry teacher ever. Thing about the opposite sex? Nothing; I don't think about the opposite sex in that way. Book gone movie? Lord of the Rings? I don't know; I haven't seen many. Meal of the day? Breakfast, because I have control over that. Otherwise, I like my late-evening coffee breaks. Card game? I don't play cards nowadays. Musical instrument? Piano, saxophone, cello, drums, and harp are my personal faves. Do you like... Cooking? Yes, actually. School? Yes, it gets me out of the house and I love learning. Doing chores? Yeah, keeps me occupied and I like helping. Your job? Yes... once again, keeps me busy, and I have the best co-workers ever. Children? Eh, kind of. I love the way their imaginations/ world views work, but they can be so cruel too... and it scares me to think of how much very young kids don't know. For some reason, ignorance terrifies me. Animals? Yes, they're awesome in their own right. Who you are? Difficult question. I like the things I can do if I try, and I love what I'm able to see and understand, but... I cannot stand the mistakes and bad choices I make, because I've seriously hurt people. I have a very twisted self-identity. Cheese? Not really, never did, but I'll eat it. Football? Not for watching or playing, but I admire the strategy and strength in sports. Baked goods? Eh, no. Too sweet and/or oily... they never agree with me. Black jelly beans? No candy for me. Soda? Nope. Coffee? I like skim-milk lattes from Borders and that's it. Even those are too sweet for me if I'm not careful. Loud music? No, I treasure my sense of hearing and loud music hurts. Baseball? Ditto the football comment. Bowling? It's kind of fun, but it's not productive so I wouldn't choose to go out and do it. Croquet? Used to play it as a kid, but I find it a little tedious. Do you have... A DVD player? My godmother once bought me one, but I gave it to my mum. MP3 player or iPod? I have a Zune, and although it's a nerve-wracking bugger at times, I like it very much. Cell phone? Yes, but I only use it in emergencies. Your own room? No, never did. Car? No, I use the family car. AIM? Yes, usually only use it for talking business with darkjester-reala. MSN? Yes, rarely use it unless Ben/ Dark-Velox/ Ayame/ Shubby/ Anna are on. YIM? Yes, almost never use it. I'm sorry; I don't have the time! Asthma? No, thankfully. Any kind of STD? No, thank God, and I guarantee you I never will. Any regrets? Too many. Have you ever... Sat on your rooftop? No, unfortunately there's no way up there. I'd love to, though. Kissed someone in the rain? No. Laughed so hard you cried? Yes, many times! Peed your pants after age 8? Geez, I wouldn't remember. Gone out of your way to befriend someone? All the time. Gone roller skating since 8th grade? I think I've only roller-skated once, when I was 7. Been in love? Yes, perpetually. Drank alcohol? I tried it once, but the idea of it scared me so no more. Smoked? Nope. Had sex? No. Been to a concert? Yes--- Cher, David Bowie, Yanni, and EW&F. Been out of the state? Yes, but only to Canada or New York or places like that. Been out of the country? No, but I want to one day. Toilet papered someones house? No, that's not something I'd want to do! Been tickled so bad that you cried? I think maybe as a kid I was. Gone camping? Nope. Had a crush on your brothers/sisters friend? Nope, I'm not a 'crush' kind of person. Worn clothes your parents didnt approve of? Yeah... chest binders. Been called a whore/slut? Too many times. Wanted to be in the Olympics? Yeah, but only to be able to say 'I'm good enough to be here!' Cried during a movie? Yep, 'Crash' and 'Metropolis.' Shoplifted? No. Gotten seasick? A little, but not much. Been embarrassed by someone in your family? Yes... my father when he drinks, my grandmother when she gossips like crazy, and my mother when she doesn't know when to stop talking (and loudly). Felt bad about eating meat? A few times, yeah. Screamed in a library? No, I'm not that sort of person. Wished a part of you was different? All the time. Been sunburned so bad you blistered? I have no idea. I don't think so. Kicked a guy in the nuts? No! Thrown up in a public place? No. Been on TV? Nope. Went to school/work drunk? Nope. Been paid to date someone? No, that's kind of sickening to me. Been strip searched? No, thank God, I think I'd break someone's arm if they tried. Been on an airplane? No, wish I have. Been on a cruise? No. Thrown your shoe at someone? No. Sang in the shower? As a kid I used to sing 'Moonraker' whenever I dried my hair, but I hate baths for weird reasons so I just hurry out of them. Been walked in on while you were dressing? Yes, by my mother and grandmother. Been walked in on while you were showering? Almost, but no. Had detention? No, thank goodness. Pretended you were scared so you could cuddle with someone? No, I'm not like that. Dyed your hair? Yes. I've also considered both bleaching it white and shaving it all off. Crazy! Done drugs? No. Eaten sushi? Yes. Been to Africa? No. Maybe one day. Been in a car accident? I was in a minor bus accident, but that's it. Been slapped? Yes, but mostly by myself. Slapped someone? Not that I know of. Been suspended from school? No. Been fired from a job? No. Gotten a tattoo? No, but I plan to one day get at least three. Dated someone younger than you? I don't date, but I do love some people younger than me. Dated someone older than you? Ditto the above! Had surgery? Yes, wisdom teeth removal. I want some extreme surgery done, though. Slept outdoors? No, but I'd like to and have considered it lately for some reason. Talked on the phone all night? I used to be on Skype for all hours of the morning... I miss that. Slept with someone of the opposite sex without actually having sex? No, too paranoid. Slept all day? No, I can't stand losing days like that. Broken the law? No. Had a dream that kept coming back? Yes, the one where I'd walk through my bathroom wall, end up in an airport, walk through a door and end up in my elementary school, and then get run over by a train. Licked a 9 volt battery? No, that's kind of weird. Been in a beauty pageant? Twice-- once as a kid and once about 2 years ago-- both times because my mother pushed me into them. Ordered from an infomercial? No, but they're darn persuasive! Ran into a wall? Yes, and then I said 'excuse me!' Fallen asleep in a movie theater? No, but I spend most of my 'movie time' in my own head anyway. Climbed a tree? Yes, as a kid. I want to find some more climbable trees! Been to Disney World? No, never wanted to. Spun around until you were immensely dizzy? Oh gosh, as a kid that was one of my favorite pastimes, haha. Explains a lot! Seen a dead body? In coffins, yeah. I also saw a dead rabbit with it's spine torn out, which was horribly disturbing. Caught a fish? Yes sir! Hurt someone you love? Unintentionally... Seen the movie "Donnie Darko"? No, and I'm dying to! I can't find it anywhere local though. Cried at a wedding? No, I get all panicky at weddings, which is sad. Ridden in an ambulance? No. Hitch-hiked? No. I will admit I've considered it though. Gone on a road trip with your friends? No, but I wouldn't mind! Stayed online for more than 10 hours straight? During my Johnny-nighters, I might have. Been in a play? Only Christmas plays as a kid, and I loved those things. Been attacked by seagulls? No, but that would be strangely unnerving. Had a deer jump in front of your car? No, thank goodness. Used the bathroom in front of a friend? Nope. Played a kazoo? Yes, they're ridiculously amusing. Been attacked by ladybugs? Yes! Once, when I was 12, I counted about 300 of 'em on our front door alone. Smashed a guitar or any other type of instrument? No, I love instruments too much. Scuba dived? No, but I want to one day. Saved someones life? Yes... Eaten calamari? Yes, but then I felt amusingly terrible because that was in 2006, haha! Played lacrosse? Nope. Slept over at someone of the opposite sexs house? Nope. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over at your house? No. Dated two people at the same time? I don't 'date,' but I am 'polyamorous.' I just love so many people. Played a full game of Monopoly? Yes. Been in a relationship that lasted more than a year? Aha, many of them! Seen a shooting star? Yes, once. Laughed and had some kind of beverage come out of your nose? Yes! Bitten someone? Yeah. Me. Been in a taxi? I think once, in New York. Had your head dunked into a toilet? Nope. Kids at school didn't even acknowledge me. Fallen down a flight of stairs? Yes, several times. Found money on the ground? Yes. Been to prom? No, and that still shocks people for some reason. Said you loved someone and didnt mean it? Oh no, I try not to lie about anything, and I'd NEVER lie about that. Jumped into a pile of leaves? Yes! Made a snow angel? Yes. Eaten anything gross for money? Nope, won't risk my health. Been on a game show? No. Had strawberry applesauce? Yes, but applesauce tends to burn my mouth for some reason. Eaten something so gross it made you gag? Yes. Ridden a camel? No. Jumped on a trampoline? Yes, they're fun. Eaten cottage cheese? Yes, it's good but it makes me sick! Gone streaking? Heck no. Touched a tarantula? No, but they're cool, so I might if I was sure it wouldn't bite me or anything. Spent more than five hours trying to win on a video game? K-L-O-N-O-A! Eaten dog food? No. Can you... Write with both hands? No, because my pen grip is screwy. Wish I could, though. Whistle? Yes. Cross your eyes? Yep. Touch your tongue to your nose? No, but I once knew a kid who could! Dance well? No, I'm not good at dancing! I will admit I wish I could dance, though. (Breakdance, too!) Gleek? What the fish is that? Stay up a whole night without sleep? Yes and I don't like that, because not only does it drain me but then I've lost a dream. Make a card pyramid? Yep! Cook anything? Yes, but my memory is awful so I forget how soon after. Unwrap a starburst with your tongue? People have actually learned how to do that? Geez. Open your eyes underwater? Yes, but I wear goggles. Need to protect my sight. Walk in high heels? No, I loathe those things. Multitask? Yes but not very well! Taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke? Not a soda-drinker. Sing well? Pretty well. I highly admire people who can sing. Play an instrument? Yep, piano and violin! Walk with your toes curled? I've done it. Drive? Yes! Stick your fist in your mouth? I've done it once as a kid, seriously. Roll your tongue? Yeah. Sing the alphabet backwards? If I try, yes, but not offhand. Moonwalk? No, unfortunately. Ice skate? Nope. Sleep with the lights on? M'dear, I'll fall asleep in a crowded cafeteria if I'm tired. Fall asleep in the car? Yes. Type correctly? Correct hand position, you mean? Nope. I use three-four fingers and that's it. I'm slowly learning how to type somewhat correctly, though. Kiss your elbow? Nope. Swim? Yes. Do the worm? Nope. Milk a cow? No, wouldn't want to try. Name all of the former U.S. presidents? No, but I once had a classmate who could. He was awesome. Do a back flip? No, seriously wish I could. Move your ears? Nope. Raise one eyebrow? Yes. Belch voluntarily? Ahaha, if I try! Pat your head and rub your stomach in a circle at the same time? Yes, I don't see why that's so hard. Make a clover leaf with your tongue? Holy heck no. Last person... To tell you they love you? Seriously? Jacob. You hugged? My mom! She has awesome hugs; I swear she radiates energy. To write you a note? Jacob, but only because I just got one in the mail (I need to send him one too). Otherwise, Ben sent me a note this afternoon. To call your cell phone? No one, actually. I've only used it for outgoing calls. To buy you something? My mom bought me a Pinstripe (my Gen) hat for my birthday! You went to the movies with? My family, a while back. To text message you? I've never received a text message. To IM you? Um... maybe Dark-Velox. I don't recall. You called? My dad, but he wasn't home... To come to your house? Jacob, once again! I'd like to visit his house one day. To help you fix something? My brother Blase helped me with our insane new printer. It needs a name. Who drove you somewhere? My mom drove me around on college errands today because my meds are giving me some horrid side effects and I couldn't even walk straight, let alone drive. Last... Movie you watched? Watchmen. Song you sang? Some random song I composed spontaneously yesterday. I was just having fun with my piano. Drink you had? Water. Speaking of, let me go get some. Number you dialed? My dad's phone. Book you read? In the middle of reading 'A Clockwork Orange.' Food you ate? Chicken and some random stuff in the kitchen... not sure why. I think I went to get a drink and forgot. Store you went to? K-Mart, to buy a dress jacket. Time you swam in a pool? AGES ago... too paranoid of swimsuits now. CD you bought? 'Viva la Vida' (the Prospekt's March edition) by Coldplay. Shout-out to Dori there. Movie you saw in theaters? Watchmen. I cried. Time you showered? I don't shower unless I'm in a hotel. Concert you went to? Oh geez, I don't recall. I think it was Bowie, about two years ago. That was awesome. Nightmare you had? I'd rather not talk about it. Car ride? Today, all over the place for about 7 hours. Time you took a pill? This morning. Time you went to the grocery store? Sunday, because I work at one. Time you had a snow day? November? I only had one snow day. Vacation you went on? Haven't been on vacation in ages. Time you dressed up for Halloween? 2007, maybe... I was a harlequin. I want to dress up as this character this year for awesome reasons. This or That Dog or cat? Cat. Pepsi or Coke? Neither. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla. Flowers or candy? Flowers. TV or movie? Movie. Bracelet or necklace? Necklace. Gold or silver? Silver. Pen or pencil? Pencil. McDonalds or Burger King? Neither. Hot tea or iced tea? Hot tea. Water or milk? Water. Coffee or hot chocolate? Coffee. Scary movies or romantic comedies? Both? Love or money? Love. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons. Ford or Chevy? No preference. Morning or night? Both. Chips or popcorn? Neither. Orange juice or apple juice? Orange. Sprite or 7-up? Neither. Being a millionaire or finding true love? Millionaire; I already have the second. Colored pencils or markers? Both! Button or zipper? They're both cool. That 70s Show or Simpsons? Neither. Bart or Lisa? Neither; don't watch the Simpsons. Waffles or pancakes? Waffles, which are what you must always eat after staying up late and swapping manly stories. Strawberries or blueberries? Both. Cake or pie? Neither, I get sick from both. French fries or onion rings? Neither. Hamburger or hot dog? Hamburger. Pepperoni or sausage? Neither. Egypt or France? Both, they both have awesome qualities. Baths or showers? No preference. Crunchy or creamy peanut butter? Crunchy. Books or movies? Both. MTV or VH1? Neither. 1% or 2% milk? I don't typically drink milk. I'm like Edward Elric. Walmart or Target? No preference. Tape or glue? Tape. Writing or typing? Both. Halloween or Christmas? Christmas. Fear Factor or the O.C.? Neither. Disney Channel or the N? Neither. Sit down restaurant or fast food? Sit down. Rugrats or Doug? Doug. Sweet or sour? Neither, they both give me headaches. English or history? English. Science or math? Both! Couch or bed? Both. I like sleeping on couches for some reason. Cough or sneeze? Neither? Jump or skip? Jump. AC/DC or Guns N Roses? Guns N' Roses! The Princess Bride or Robin Hood Men In Tights? Never saw the second; don't recall the first. Baseball or basketball? Basketball. Volleyball or football? Neither. Musicals or ballets? Musicals. The Ring or The Grudge? Neither. Sunrise or sunset? Both. I'm partial to sunsets though. Swings or seesaw? Swings. Phone calls or text messages? Neither. Bowling or mini golf? Neither. Snow or rain? Rain, but I love both. Pants or shorts? Pants. Winter break or Spring break? Winter. Tree or flower? Both. Ketchup or mustard? Ketchup, but it burns which isn't good. Water or Gatorade? Water, unless it's bottled. Then it's Gatorade. History or geography? History. Geometry or algebra? Both. Chinese or Mexican food? Neither. Red or orange? Red, but it's really a tie! Yellow or green? Green. Indigo or violet? Both. Fall or summer? Summer. Winter or spring? Both! Fido or Fluffy? Feathercake. Roses or daffodils? Both. Green Day or Fall Out Boy? Um... can't say I've really heard much of either band. The Goo Goo Dolls or 3 Doors Down? Ditto the above. Knife or spork? Knife. Carpet or wood? Wood. Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom? Johnny Depp, because I've read some of his interviews and he is an awesome guy. Pringles or Doritos? Neither. Vampire or mermaid? Mermaid. Comedy or drama? Comedic drama? Dramatic comedy? Shrimp or crab? Both. VHS or DVD? Both, but DVDs do have better quality. Revenge or forgiveness? Forgiveness. Always, always forgiveness. Being liked or being respected? Both, although respect is tops, it hurts too much when people dislike others. Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb? Neither. Peaches or pears? Both, unless I'm Castor Troy. Zing! Pink or blue? Both, but pink sadly does get labeled as 'girly.' Yummy or delicious? Is there that much of a difference? Horse or cow? Horses. Now-and-Later or Laffy Taffy? Neither. Car or truck? Car. Long sleeves or short sleeves? No preference, but bonus points if it's both! Slipknot or Nickelback? Ditto the other band questions. Sublime or The Used? What I just said. Chicken or beef? Chicken. Brad Pitt or Vince Vaughn? No preference. Jennifer Anniston or Angelina Jolie? No preference. Jay Leno or David Letterman? Haven't seen either. Dr. Phil or Oprah? No preference. Diamonds or pearls? Either; I'm just a gemstone addict, if the name wasn't a big enough hint! Desperate Housewives or Greys Anatomy? Neither. In the man/woman of your dreams... Eye color? Green, blue, brown, purple, gold, grey, white, red... no preference! Short hair or long hair? I'm extremely partial to short hair, but I like both. Tall or short? No matter, although a ridiculous difference would be rather awkward. Looks or personality? Personality. I'm not going to judge anyone; looks are highly deceiving and they always, always fade. Hot or cute? Neither. This is my definition of hot; this is my definition of cute. BUT I cannot deny that this guy is just freaking adorable. Older or younger? Either. Right now I'm going 3 years younger and... let's not even bring Chaos into this. Outgoing or shy? A bit of both. No crazy party addicts, but please don't sit around like a mouse all day either. Tattoos? I don't mind, as long as they're not risque or ridiculous. Funny or serious? Both, but bonus points for clean humor and deep seriousness. Party hopper or more stay-at-home? Stay-at-home. Play sports? I won't mind. Play an instrument? It's preferred but not needed. Clean or messy? Once again, no preference but please don't be extreme either way. Curly hair or straight hair? Either. Complex or simple? Complex with the ability to be simple. Laugh loudly or chuckle quietly? Both! T-shirts or tank tops? T-shirts, I don't like seeing skin on anyone. Personal bug. Holding hands or arm in arm? Either, but I might get a bit nervous. I only really like things like hugs, because they somehow feel safer than smaller kinds of contact, which tend to make me panic. Bake you a cake or make you dinner? Neither; I'm not a food person at all. (Geez, man, if I love someone I'm not going to pick them apart! Don't worry!) Do you believe in... Santa Claus? I believe there probably was a guy once. God? Yes. The Easter Bunny? You never know, haha! Magic? Kind of. True love? Yes. Heaven? Yes, but I'll admit I've practically gone mad trying to think about it. Hell? Yes, and ditto the above... Love at first sight? Not at first sight, but I believe it can sure start there. The Tooth Fairy? Not really, but I can't help but wonder about everything. Karma? Yes. Life on other planets? Oh heck yes. I've said it before: the Fermi Paradox has been known to drive me to tears. Evolution? Yes, but with a religious twist, haha. Fate? Yes. Miracles? Yes. Ghosts? Yes. True, selfless happiness? Oh yes. Selflessness in general? Yes! Reincarnation? Not typically, but I think it may be possible. Luck? Not really. Astrology? No. Devil? Yes. I've seen things, I've felt things.. Second chances? Always. Future Dream job? Something, anything that will let me share my worlds with the world. Do you want to have kids? No. If so, how many? Zero. Not a pun. Do you want to get married? No, for various reasons. Country you want to visit? Britain, Switzerland, Hong Kong, Germany, Egypt... I want to see as much as I can. Where do you want to live? Any world that I'm welcome to! What kind of car do you want to drive? No preference, as long as it's safe and efficient. Whats something youre looking forward to? Finally making a major difference in the world. I will do it. Would you ever be... A fireman? No, but it's an admirable job. Policeman? No. Doctor? No, too paranoid. Writer? Not just a writer, but I need my words. Artist? Ditto the above; it's the only way I can show what I see. Musician? Once again, ditto the above. Too many ideas. Interior designer? No. Soldier? No. President? No, haha! Pilot? No. Mortician? No. Forensic scientist? No. Lawyer? No. Store clerk? No. Banker? No. Professional wrestler? No. Rapper? Ahaha, it would be amusing, but no. Country singer? No. Pop star? No. Actor? I've thought about it but don't think it would work. Bartender? No. Dentist? No. Teacher? No. (And then I wonder why I have problems with school...) Do you know anyone named... Sarah? No. Tony? No. Mark? Used to, in kindergarten! Stephanie? Yes, two of 'em from elementary school. One was a friend for a while, and the other actually shows up at my workplace now and then. Amanda? Yes, another elementary classmate. Samantha? Yes: my co-worker, and this girl in my high school who wanted to work on Broadway. She was a wonderful girl; I hope she makes it there. Amy? I do, but I forget who. Matthew? Used to, from elementary school. That kid was brilliant! Jennifer? Yes, but only upstairs! Jamie? Yes, a girl in my high school. She tried too hard to be a 'boy magnet,' though, poor kid... Zachary? No. Megan? No. Brad? No. Brian? Used to, elementary school. Gabe? No. Steve? Two of 'em in elementary school; both great kids. Michelle? No. Nikki? No. Erica? No. Phil? No. Carrie? No. Ron? No. Christie? No. Rick? Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you! ...You know, when you really think about it, that song has some pretty great lyrics. Now to sleep. Have a great night, kids. | ||||||||||
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Amazing.April 11th, 2009
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| I know that I usually don't post this sort of thing in this journal, but I figured my Johnny page needs more love, so here we go. Apparently, one of my friends on dA started a very interesting "100 picture" list. Why 'interesting,' you ask? Well, instead of listing random words, it listed 100 blank spaces... each to be filled with the name of one of your favorite songs. Yep, I have to pick the 100 songs that mean the most to me and draw a picture for each of them. I hope I can do it; it would mean a lot to me.. I'll be breaking the list into 4 parts (seriously) in no particular order, because I want to give a brief explanation of why the listed songs mean what they do to me. The '25-song' updates will also be spasmodic and possibly after actual entries, because I'll only update them as I think of 'em. So, without further ado, here's the first 25 explanations! (Explanations will be added in intervals as well; sorry.) 1 "LINK" (L'Arc~En~Ciel) I've always associated this song with Chaos 0, even before I found out that the lyrics apply to 'us' shockingly well. "Even if we are far apart, our hearts are linked... even if a mischievous fate befalls us, the link won't break..." Seriously, even without being familiar with my jargon, you have to admit that's perfect. So, for me, this is his song. It's quite beautiful. Random trivia... Hyde is one of the few vocalists I've heard with almost the exact voice I picture Chaos with. 2 "Big Julie" (Jarvis Cocker) My theme song. It has an interesting history, too. On 031207, around 3AM, I woke up for no real reason and spontaneously decided to see what was on the radio. I tuned in to my favorite local college station, and there was some rock song finishing up... immediately after, this song started. The piano chords caught me immediately, but as the song progressed, I knew that I couldn't possibly let it go. I wrote down the chorus-- "big Julie rules the world"-- and looked it up the next morning. I found the artist, and bought the album a few days later. The lyrics apply to me more than I can say... 3 "Racing Green" (High Contrast) This song is, quite literally, the auditory embodiment of a perfect summer day. It's fast, catchy, uplifting, and optimistic. It brings a smile to my face every time I hear it, and it never fails. 4 "Living" (Todd Rundgren) This is the other song I associate with Chaos 0, but this time it's entirely because of the lyrics. Don't get me wrong, the song is absolutely gorgeous, but the words get me every time. "Fate is cruel; you're made a fool... and when I'm falling from grace, I look for comfort in your face. So look me straight into the eye, swear to God and tell me I'm not living a lie..." 5 "Sincerely" (Tsutchie) I love this song to pieces. 6 "The Sound" (Orson) ... 7 "Northern Girl" (Orson) When I first heard this song, I started to cry, because the lyrics fit my life all too well. They still do. It's an absolutely gorgeous song. 8 "H! VLTG3" (Linkin Park) This song + sunny weather + sitting in a Starbucks parking lot = vo!t@ge. No kidding. As a result, this song means quite a lot to me. Also, it's addictive as heck. 9 "Easy To Please" (Coldplay) This song will forever remind me of Dori. That's all I need to say.10 "Lupinne" (The Drowners) I first heard this song on my favorite college radio channel (yep, the same one i heard 'Big Julie' on), but I heard this one on a snowy afternoon in December 2005. I was drawing Hokthai at the time, when then this song came on and I was left speechless. Thank God I had a tape recording the entire time I drew, because I never heard the song again-- and I couldn't find the name OR lyrics to it anywhere. God works in funny ways, though-- last week, I randomly decided to look up the lyrics again, and I found it. It's still just as beautiful as the first time I heard it. 11 "Place" (Senri Manaka) I find this song extremely calming. I don't even know how I came to like it so much-- one day, it just started playing through my head without warning, and after that, I couldn't stop listening to it. 12 "If You're Not The One [Dance Remix]" (Daniel Bedingfield) When I was 12, I heard this remix on the radio and immediately thought of Bakura. I still do, really. It's a beautiful remix-- much better than the original, in my opinion-- and the lyrics actually work pretty darn well. 13 "Winter: Allegro non molto" (Antonio Vivaldi) ... 14 "Hamburg Song" (Keane) I empathize perfectly with this song. 15 "Jingle Jangle" (Hot Hot Heat) Yet another song that I first heard on my local college radio channel! I remember how sad this song made me back in '05-- it still does; the lyrics are heartbreakingly sobering. It's a fantastic song. 16 "You Go To My Head" (Tony Bennett) ... 17 "Can't Stop Now" (Keane) ... 18 "Meteor Herd- Space Trip Steps" (Hunnid-P) This one has a long story behind it. 19 "What I Gotta Do" (Macy Gray) I first heard this song entirely by chance on a cable R&B station, and as soon as it came on, I literally stopped whatever I was doing to just listen. It's gorgeous in every aspect. Macy has a wonderfully unique voice, and the song itself is richly constructed. One of my all-time faves, actually. 20 "Empty Streets" (Starsailor) ... 21 "Starlight" (Muse) This is the song I currently associate with Marik. Not sure why, but the first time I heard it, it just clicked. 22 "Hard To Beat" (Hard-Fi) ... 23 "Anna Molly" (Incubus) Yet another great story behind this one. 24 "The Big Jump" (Angelo Carter) ... 25 "Hit The Road" (Angelo Carter) ... That's it for now... | ||||||
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March 24th, 2009
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| I wonder if, perhaps, something is dreadfully wrong with me. Oh well. Would your parents be mad if you were in a relationship? My parents want me to have a 'by the book' relationship... but unfortunately for them, I'm not only an asexual, but all my relationships are completely unusual in that sense. I wouldn't lose them for the world, though. If you could cuddle with anyone right now, who would you pick? I don't cuddle, but there are several people I'd like to hug. What's irritating you right now? The fact that I still haven't finished coloring my art trade for Ayame, and the fact that I'm being lazy. How many kids do you want? Zero. What were you up to at 11pm last night? I think I was reading random blogs, smiling at people I'll never know. That or I was browsing freeplaymusic again. What happened at 10:00 am today? I was at the hospital for a bone checkup. How many hours did you sleep last night? Five? I haven't been getting much sleep lately. Does anyone call you baby? No, thank God. I wouldn't be able to handle that. Did you hug anyone today? No, but I hugged my brother yesterday. Would you get married if you could right now? Nope, I'm a celibate. Too devoted to my purpose to be tied down; I'm sorry. Are you in a good mood? I guess so. I'm just sad. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Selph. What are you listening to? Currently, "Seventeen Forever" (Piano Tribute Players). My iTunes is on shuffle. Do you love someone right now? So many people. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? I used to use them far too much when I was 14/15... now I'm trying very hard not to use any. I try to look professional. Do you wear glasses? Not currently, but I need prism glasses because my eyes don't focus correctly and it takes a toll on my comprehension. Are you there for your friends? God knows I try. Do you get along with girls? In general, no, which is sad. I've never gotten along with girls, even as a kid... not much in common, and I've had some very bad experiences with women. Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? Rarely, and I wish I did. I'm so exhausted. Are you a forgiving person? Always. How is life going for you right now? ...In the big picture, it's not going well. In this moment, it's lovely. Do you believe what goes around comes around? Always. Who was the last person you ate with? I don't eat with people, sorry. I don't like eating the way it is, and I'm uncomfortable being with people in social situations. When was the last time you saw your dad? A few months back, as far as I remember. Are you mad about anything? Just my own incompetence. Do you miss anyone? Oh, if you only knew. What was the last thing you did? Switched my iTunes song. Now it's "The Big Jump" from Freeplaymusic. Do you hate being alone? Alone at home? No. On campus? No. Relationship-wise? Yes. In the world? Yes. Do you drink more water or juice? I drink Sobe Vitamin water like an addict. Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008? No, thank God, but I'd do almost anything to live all that again as who I am now. When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Ten minutes ago, when I realized all I had left of her was a photo that wasn't even mine to have. Looking forward to something this weekend? Nothing in particular... just waiting for my Celebi stuff to come in the mail. I need some childhood joy. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? I don't condemn them, but it burns my throat... and I feel terrible because I know that they're really hurting their health. My mother is a respiratory therapist; I know all the bloody details. Is there someone you will never forget? Yes. Many, many someones. Where’s the guy/girl you love right now? Salt Lake City, England, Singapore, and heaven knows where the others are... Do you like waking up in the morning to find that you have new texts? You mean messages in my dA inbox? Heck yes! Are you a morning person or a night person? Both, but a little more of a night person because there are no fights when people are trying to sleep. Do you like someone right now? Yes, many people, near and far. Can you keep a secret? I can keep everyone else's secrets, but not my own. Are you open with your feelings to people? In a sense. I tend to say things in secretive, even cryptic ways, but it's like I said... I can't keep my own secrets. What are you thinking right now? Will I ever be truly happy? | ||||||||
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October 19th, 2008
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| If you were______ what would you be? [a flower] Wisteria. [a fruit] Blackberry. [a vegetable] Tomato. [a spice] Ginger. [a color] Red. [a bug] Flower Mantis. Short Answer [are you left handed or right handed?] Right. [are you smart?] A little... I think I have potential, but I don't know how to use it. [whats your middle name?] Wisteria. [how many personalities do you have?] Just me! I have several 'voices' upstairs, though. [how many piercings do you have?] None. [tattoos?] None, eventually will have three. [do you like v-8?] Tomato juice ftw. [what was your first word?] I have no idea... probably 'mommy,' haha! [are you superstitious?] No, but I do wonder from time to time. [do you read your horoscope?] No. [do you believe in that stuff?] Nah, you can easily apply horoscope there to you and you can still interpret it as 'true.' [can you do a cartwheel?] No, but I'd love to. [do you have bangs?] Yes, Nny bangs. They grew on their own, honest. [do you have contact lenses?] No. [can you drive?] Yes! [what do you drive?] The family car. I don't mind. [do you snore?] I heard that I do. It's because I sleep on my back. [Do you drool in your sleep?] Rarely, but it happens sometimes. Human fault. [do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?] Fingers and water. [do you keep a journal?] What are you reading right now, kid? But seriously, my journals aren't really journals at all... [what languages do you know?] English, and a little knowledge of Latin, Spanish, German, Japanese, and Italian. [what's the best awards show?] I only watch the Oscars, and only some of that. [do you like onions?] I don't mind them. [do you like cotton candy?] Yes, but it doesn't like me. [do you like Pina coladas?] A bit. Non-alcoholic, though! [what instruments can you play?] Piano & violin. I'd love to learn cello, drums and saxophone. [what words do you overuse?] "Well," "that's true," "though," and "y'know," for starters. [what do you sleep in?] Normal clothing. I can't stand pajamas. Too loose. [whats your bedtime?] I don't have one, and my schedule keeps me up stupidly late. [how many pillows do you have?] Two, but one is chiropractic. [do you like to sing?] Only when no one else is listening. I need practice before I can sing comfortably in front of people. [are you any good at it?] I'm decent. I want to take lessons but I'm kind of nervous. [how many cds do you have?] Ahaha, too many! [how many times have you moved houses?] Zero. [what do you think of chain letters?] Silly and senseless. [do you like where you live?] I love the woods here, yes. [is your room messy?] I share my room with three other people, so yes. [how many people go to your school?] Geez, a fair amount. [what is your bf/gf's name?] I don't use those terms, and I'd have to list several names! [do you like your writing?] Yes. [do you like to finger-paint?] No, too inaccurate. [what do you smell like?] Me! [are you organized?] Only when it comes to my papers and artwork. Otherwise... not at all. [what do you put on hotdogs and hamburgers] Ketchup, if I have to eat them. [do you sleep with a stuffed animal?] I used to-- mostly Pokemon plushies. [do you sleep with socks on?] When it's really cold, yeah. [are you ticklish?] I'm hypersensitive, so probably. I'm also good at desensitizing myself, though. [do you talk to yourself?] Me and all the other voices in my head. [is your house 1, 2, or 3 stories?] One, not including the basement and attic. [do you have a basement or an attic?] Both. Both are full of junk and cannot be walked through. [what flavor fluoride do you get at the dentist?] I don't remember. That was a long time ago. [did you go to preschool?] Yes. [are you a morning person?] Yes. [whats your favorite outfit?] My pinstripe suit. [do you have a friend that you wish wasn't?] No, I love all my friends. [who has the most annoying voice in the world?] No one that I know of. [do you believe in ghosts?] I believe they probably exist. [do you believe in bigfoot?] Ditto the above answer. [whats your favorite feature (on yourself)?] Nothing right now. I can't stand much of me. [what do you do when you're nervous?] Panic, start shaking, and start self-abusing. It's habit but I want to quit. [who's your role model?] God. [what celebrities do you look like?] None that I know of. [what celebrities do you act like?] None that I know of. [do you like classical music?] Yes sir, but only if it has depth and feeling! [how old do you wish you were?] I wish age had no affect upon me. I want to live without an age and die when it's my time to go. [what will you name your daughter?] No kids for me, no sir. [son?] NO KIDS. [have you ever thought you were gonna die?] Yes, all the time. Last night I felt like it, too. [where's the farthest place you ever traveled?] Wyoming, USA. [where do you wanna go?] I want to get lost in my head and not come back. | ||||||
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September 14th, 2008
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| I felt like taking a quiz. Again. Nice little break from the sadness. Nice little break from the euphoria. Lose myself in the words! Do you have alcohol hidden in your room? Heavens no. I'm scared of what my mind would do under the influence of alcohol. Plus I don't have my own room. Are you friends with your cousin's girlfriend? Their wives, yeah. Most of my cousins are married. Who was your last text dA note from? Ideya-Freak. She's an incredible girl. Is that person your best friend? I don't pick faves, but she is one of my dearest friends, hands down. Have you ever been paintballing? No. My old friend used to paintball. He said those things hurt like crazy! What was the last thing you had to eat? Cereal. I screwed up again and ate sugar. Geez. I should pay attention more... Are you tired? I probably am, but I won't feel it for at least another three hours, unfortunately. Would you rather get a million dollars, or find a cure for cancer? God knows I would love a million, but if I could truly find a cure for cancer that worked and didn't have any backlashes, then I'd take it. Has your family ever kept a big secret from you? Probably. How old are you? I don't pay attention to my age anymore. What matters is how I feel. What color are your nails? Translucent! What color pants are you wearing? Khakis. I got home from work around 7PM and haven't switched out of them yet. Where is your worse scar? Back of my head. I have an inch-long raised scar from where I cracked my head open in 2nd grade. Did you have any dreams last night? I forget them, unfortunately. I love my dreams, but my grandmother wakes me up too roughly and abruptly for me to remember them... When was the last time you laughed? Earlier today, when Shelby said I reminded her of the main character in Fruits Basket because I'm so darn polite, aha! Who lives in your neighborhood that you would hang out with? My old friend AMG lives down the road. I don't know if we have any connection anymore, though... it's sad. She was too rebellious and boy-crazy for me to get along with her very well, no matter how hard I tried. Who's house will you probably sleep over at next? If Chaos had a house... *rimshot* I'm kidding, you crazyheads! I've never slept over anyone's house because 1) I've never know anyone who'd let me, and 2) I'm a bit paranoid. If I trust someone enough I would though. What are your plans for Sunday? Next Sunday? I'm working again, and I'm going to rant about awesome stuff with Shelby for 5 hours! Yeah! Are you hungry right now? I'm never hungry, really. I just eat too much. Are you short? Not on average, no! I'm 5'8''. Are you good at playing any instruments? Why yes! Piano and violin. I want to learn cello and saxophone, too... for Exile and Midvalley's sakes, haha! Were you ever in a band when you were younger? No, but it might have been fun if my self-esteem wasn't so low. Is your room clean? No, because I share it with three people! It's a holy mess and I need to clean it. Is there someone that you are ashamed you were friends with way back? Unfortunately, no... because virtually no one else considered me their friend. What does your dad do? Automobile restoration. He's finally starting to get some recognition, but it's already too late in his life, sadly... Are you planning on going to college? I'm already in college! I have classes all day tomorrow. Are you good at giving directions? If I know what I'm talking about, I can. Unfortunately I can't remember streets and I get everything confused! Are you the kind of person that solves the problems, or makes them? Unintentionally makes, and then tries like a madman to solve them. Do you like your mom's side of the family better, or your dad's? I don't pick faves with people. Also, I don't know many people on my dad's side. When was the last time you went to the hospital? About two months ago, for a blood test. How many piercings do you have? None. I don't want anyone poking holes in me, thank you very much. Who were you last in a car with? My grandparents, on the way to church yesterday. What color shirt are you wearing? Moss green, and it has a Serafly painted on it! Do you have reason to smile right now? Yes, I do. See? I can smile! What's one thing that would instantly make you dislike a person? An apathetic/ misanthropic personality... but I can't ever completely dislike a person. What do you do when you need to relax? Music! That or I just sit down upstairs and tell Chaos to 'get over here I need to talk.' It works. If someone liked you, what would be the best way to let you know? Be nice towards me. Believe me, I'll notice. I'm usually ignored. What are you listening to right now? "Shoot Me Down" (Boy Kill Boy) If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? If it was for personal use, surgery. Otherwise it'd all go to my family. What was the last thing you purchased? Bottled water for lunch. But in two weeks, I'll be buying Sonic Chronicles! Yeah! Would you honestly say you'd risk your life for someone else? Cross my heart I would. What's your greatest fear in life? Damnation. Can money buy happiness? Not in the sense that you need money to be happy, no... but money, being our only means of purchasing things in this life, can definitely gain you many things that eventually lead you to true happiness (NOT materialism though). I would know... Who was the last person you hugged? No one physically, but upstairs, that was Marik! He needed it. Are you looking forward to anything? September 30th! I hope Big's awesome factor skyrockets courtesy of BioWare. If not, I'll do it myself! What do your friends call you? Spinny, S. Cannon, Spinning, Sgt. Spinny, Jam, big sis. ^^ Has anyone upset you in the last week? My mother did yesterday because she was making me the villain again. I got over it quickly and I bet you know where the frustration went. Do you think you would be a good parent? No. I love kids, but I seriously doubt I could ever raise one. I'm just not very comfortable with that. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with? Selph. Then again, he's sexless so he doesn't really count, haha! I spoke to Viral earlier today, though. What's your favorite drink? Spiced tea-- the kind you get at Christmas. It's awesome. Does any part of your body hurt right now? Honey, some part of my always hurts. Right now it's my freaking awful spine! How did you sleep last night? I fall asleep as soon as I hit the bed and it's crazyhard to wake me up. I think I managed to get 8 hours last night, though. Have you ever been in handcuffs? No. I don't like having my hands bound. Have you ever caught anything on fire? Several things, but nothing major. I'm a pyromaniac at heart. How long is your hair when it's wet? About an inch past my shoulders. I'm cutting it in the spring, though. I've made up my mind! How many times have you been to the ER? Twice that I remember, and both were "ohdearheavensgetherintherequick" situations. First time-- split my head open. Second time-- was so deathly sick that I missed two weeks of classes as a result. Do you go on the internet every day? Yeah, by default. E-mail check, dA check, journal update. Simple schedule, unless I get carried away! Do you drink soda? Never have, and I don't plan to. Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? Very, very rarely nowadays. Typically it's like... 3, 4 hours. Unfortunately. Well, that's it for now. Still no motivations for me to write an actual entry here... I really should. One day. Until then, I'll see you. -s. cannon | ||||||||
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I'm not sure.August 21st, 2008
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| I need to take my mind off things. No rants for you here. Does your password have to do with a boy? No. It's totally random. Are you a girly girl? No sir, but I do have some 'feminine' aspects. Don't judge me; we all do. Small or big purses? Small, if I have to carry one. Do you enjoy drama? No. Cheesy drama is too fake for me, and real drama makes me hurt because I don't like seeing people in those situations. Do you think you’re conceited? No. Others do, though. I try not to be. Did you dress up on Halloween? I used to, but then time ate the tradition. Do you call anybody by their last name? No, not unless it's a formal title. Do you wear makeup? No. It's silly and futile, really. People put far too much importance on physical appearance. Have you ever been called a bad influence? Yes, unfortunately. I wish I knew why. Heels or flats? Flats for formals and red sneakers for casuals. I only wear heels if I absolutely have to. Skirts or jeans? Jeans all the way. Never shorts, never skorts, and never skirts by my own choice. Even then I'll only wear 'em if they're to the ground. Socks or leggings? Socks are good, but I do like leggings if you can't see much of them. Heels or sneakers? Sneakers, and 90% of the time they're red. Straight or curly hair? I like fluffy straight hair, haha! Hoops or dangling earrings? I don't personally wear earrings. They make me feel false. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys? Doesn't matter to me at all. I don't 'prefer' physical aspects. Do you have a best friend? Several. I don't (and can't!) pick favorites. What do you think about the person you like? They all treat me so much better than I could have ever asked of someone. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery? For cosmetic purposes? No. Do you like your life? I enjoy life because I'm lucky enough to have one. It hurts like hell sometimes, though. All lives do. Ever walked into the guy's bathroom? Yes, when I was a kid I used to just because I wanted to see what it looked like. Now I'm not comfortable with either one, haha. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on? Honey, I'd rather do that than wear some skimpy bathing suit. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face? No. I've only slapped myself in the face, and that was... um, not too long ago, I think. Unfortunately. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? More times than I'd like to count. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind? Oh, all the time. IN A BOY: Preppy or Punk/Goth? I don't see why that would matter. I go for personalities and that's all. Well-educated or Dropout? I'd rather well-educated, to be honest, but dropouts aren't all awful people. All educated kids aren't nice either. Contacts or Glasses? Whichever one they prefer. Funny or Serious? Dead serious when they need to be and ridiculously funny when they want to be. I'm lucky enough to have people like that. Romantic or Daredevil? Neither, ahaha. Be nice and be loving, but don't go overboard... and don't take ridiculous risks, but always take a chance. Cute or Hot? I have never been able to comprehend those terms in 'girl logic' forms. Long or short hair? As long as it's not completely ridiculous, it doesn't matter. Good Dancer or Good Singer? I don't usually dance unless it's DDR, and I admire anyone who can do that well. Singing is always a good trait to have, but if you can't sing then I won't mind a bit. Has a Motorcycle or Sports car? As long as it's not purely to show off or anything like that. If you have one and love it regardless of status, that's fine with me. Name a quote from the song you are listening to. This song is instrumental, actually. It's my current "come on, try to smile, and let's take the world" song, though. How is life going for you right now? It's in the corner of it's little padded cell at the moment, but I've been stopping by to give it flowers every once in a while. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? I have so many secrets it hurts. So many. Regret(s)? I could write three books. Maybe four. What was the reason you last cried? Debilitating emotional pain, massive confusion, and a desperate need for someone to listen to everything. It's online somewhere. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? "Hold on, I'm trying to think." (My usual reaction when mom forces me awake during a dream.) Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? I've never hated anyone, but yes, there have been some people that were very negative to me for one reason or another but I still managed to become friends in one way or another. I don't like having enemies of any sort. Do you own a pair of green pants? One pair, and they're a grass green of sorts. Do you believe what goes around comes around? Karma? Definitely. Unfortunately, sometimes it only comes around after your time is up, good and bad. What is your favorite fruit? I like apples. Always did. I also love blackberries but I'm addicted to stuff that I can bite, so. What is the last song that made you cry? "Jojoushi" by L'Arc~En~Ciel. Very long explanation, and it's probably not what you'd expect. Does anyone love you? Yeah, I'm actually pretty well-loved, I gather. Gets me all misty-eyed when I realize it... Do you love someone? Everyone platonically, and some people 'romantically,' and I wouldn't ever have it any other way. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? I've come close. I've scraped it close enough to bleed many times before. Do you trust people easily? In my heart I always do. Society and paranoia make it tough. Who do you miss? I'm always missing at least one person. One might be able to guess who it is tonight, again. Do you give out second chances too easily? I would give out a 472th chance if the person needed it. I could never refuse a soul who needed another chance. Where was your last car ride to and from? To a service project around 11AM, back from the project and a random shopping trip after 7PM. Long day. Where is one place you want to visit? Right now I don't care where I go. I just want to close my eyes and dream myself away to God knows where. Do you like hugs or do you freak when people hug you? Depends on the circumstances, dear. I like giving hugs, but when recieving them, I'd be a lot more comfortable with them if they were from someone I knew and if I knew why they were hugging me, aha! I'm rather iffy with physicality but I can always handle a hug, sure. Ever felt that no one relates to you? In certain points, yes. Otherwise, I'm lucky enough to have people to turn to. Had plans and broke them? Sweetheart, my schedule is just as addicted to chaos as I am. Do you eat steak? Yes; I'm not a picky eater. Are you a tease? I only tease certain people; namely, Jimmy and Chaos, because they're both big teasers in their own right. I won't tease someone purely on a whim, though. Who are you jealous of? I don't get jealousy. I only get guilt. If someone has something that I don't, I'm happy for them because they have the chance to experience something that I don't. Are you a lover or a hater? I am a lover all the way. Hatred doesn't work for me, no matter how much I like Kain. What can always make you laugh or smile? Many people can, but to do that under any circumstances at all? That's Jimmy Theed. Do you regret something you did yesterday? Yes, I blew up from stress overload. I really, really despise it when that happens. It always hurts and it never helps. What's the last thing you ate? My grandmother makes this freaking awesome zucchini bread that I can actually eat with mouth surgery! As a result I ate far too much of it, haha. No food for almost 7 hours, plus I was working all day. Do you have anything in your pockets right now? No, which bothers me. I have a crucifix in my one jeans pocket but I forgot to switch it. I hope I can find it. How many windows are open on your computer? Two: Microsoft Word and Firefox. Firefox has three tabs open: this, my Sonic music, and college homework. Last person you saw? My brother Blase! *points to him* He's right there! Last person you went to a playground with? My little brothers, and that was a very long time ago. In the past week have you felt stupid? Yes, very. It doesn't help when you're always told that you're stupid, either. Did you give anyone a dirty look today? I don't think so, no. I hope not. I can't look at people when I'm angry; then the guilt eats me alive. In the past week have you felt sad? I'm always a little sad. Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Selph's right by me as usual, God's in his heaven and all is right with the world, so they say. No, I'm not up for any sort of physical proximity to anyone at the moment. I'm sorry... Last awkward moment? Today! During service, I was trying to fix the pressurewasher hose because it disconnected and was soaking everything, so there I am, covered in dirt and literally drenched in water, and this woman drives up in an empty bus for work or something... good heavens, I had to hurry up and move all my equipment off the road, haha. Plus I looked a total mess, but I don't mind. I had fun. What did you do last night? I stayed up until 1AM listening to an instrumental remix of "His World" and looking up Chaos Zero pictures on deviantART. I had fun. Would you cry if you found out you were gonna die? Yes. There is still so much I have to do, and so many people I want to help. I'd cry because I haven't done much with my life yet and I feel like I have to do so much... I couldn't die with all this unfinished business, not now. I strongly believe that God has plans for me here yet. Do you hate being alone? I don't like being disconnected from the people I have that care. I don't mind being alone if it's somewhere where I won't go into a paranoid panic attack. I cannot stand being alone emotionally or mentally, though. Has anyone ever broken your heart? No. As I said, though, my crazy glass heart is practically opaque from all the little fractures. Where was the last place you went shopping? In a supermarket! Random food shopping. How do you feel about your hair? I'm happy with it. I'm going to cut it in March and see how I like that, but otherwise it's fine. I like it a little fluffy and crazy, though, instead of poker-flat. Last restaurant you went to? A seafood place, with Jacob's family. Last week, remember? It was awesome. Do you still talk to the person who hurt you the most? I have to. She's my mother. Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with A? Two letters down, and that's only if we're counting random dreams, remember? Do you drink coffee? Oh gosh, when Phoenix Wright 3 came out I drank coffee for weeks because I liked Godot so much, haha. I have a strange habit of emulating the people I like in one way or another, even if it's unconscious. Do you crack your knuckles? I used to. Now my arthritis-ish-ness makes it hurt far too much. Do you like surprises? Oftentimes they throw me into a panic! Nice surprises, especially small ones, are okay. Last person to give you a present? I requested a picture of Shredist from crazyhedgehog777, and he drew it in a little over an hour! That brightened my day like crazy. Are you ticklish? I would rather not find out. However, I do have a rather disturbing ability to 'seperate' myself from physical sensation somewhat. Helps my pain threshold. Are you afraid of falling in love? I'm afraid of the other way around. Who has your heart? God and way too many other people. I'm generous with it. Did you sing at all today? I hummed a bit to this Sonic remix, but it resulted in me getting yelled at so I stopped, haha. When is the last time you cried? Around midnight. I don't cry often, so that scared me. Dot dot dot dot and now I'm off to sleep because it's 1:46 AM! Gosh! I needed that, though. My mind is a little calmer now. Yep, that's how I work here...I say, when something bad happens, type like a freaking maniac about it, and then for heaven's sakes calm down immediately! I get some shockingly deep thoughts and memorable words whenever I do that. I take that chance... the bad memories for the luxury of looking back on it. Well, as I said, it's early, and I should really call it quits for now. I love these quizzes, though. Not only are they fun, but they help me to be more honest and open about things, especially to myself. I hope you guys don't mind reading the darn things! I'll try and stick a normal entry on here sometime soon. Anyway, good night! -s. cannon | ||||||||||
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I would rather not say.August 18th, 2008
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| I'm bored and tired and my face hurts, haha. Time for a quiz! What color shirt were you wearing when you had your last kiss? I've only had one kiss, it was in a dream, and I don't remember what I was wearing. Do you remember your kindergarten teachers name? Yes. Last name was Bryk. Do you remember your first kiss? Yep. (Dreams do count, yes?) Would you rather go to a party or go out of town? Out of town, as long as we're going somewhere nice. I'm not one for parties at all. What was the last thing you ate? Um... lemon yogurt, and two pills. Not much else I can eat after wisdom teeth surgery! If you could get back in touch with anyone who would it be? My old friend from band camp... Holli. She had the voice of an angel, I swear to you. I miss her so much. When was the last time you talked to the last person you kissed? Earlier this evening. I try to talk to him at least once every day. What's on your bedroom floor? Lots of fish, haha. Papers, CDs, and dust bunnies. I share my room with 3 other people, you remember. What did you wake up to this morning? My mom on the phone. I then proceeded to fall back asleep for another 2 hours and woke up at random. What are you doing today? Well, it's late, but I'm going to finish talking to Jacob and then I need some sleep/ recovery time from this blasted surgery. Describe your current shirt: White with thing blue sleeve/ necklines and a stained-glass style glitterburst in the center (blue as well). It's an old FANG shirt. Which movie did you last see in theatres? That "Journey To The Center Of The Earth" thing, totally at random. Who was it with? My family and Jacob's family! Who were the last people you ate with? I last ate out with Jacob's family and my mom, but I last ate at home by myself. I need to eat, even though it hurts at this point, haha. When was the last time you felt guilty about something? Today. I yelled at my little brother for making too much noise because it was hurting my head, and I felt awful. I apologized as soon as possible, of course. What color is your luggage? I do not carry luggage, my dear sir! But I carry my schoolbooks in an orange tote bag, yes I do! When you have kids would you want a boy or a girl first? I'm not having kids, hon. Where are you right now? Kitchen table, as always! Do you drink your soda from a straw? Aha, I don't drink soda! Gotcha! What was the last thing someone bought you? Hmm. Well, my mom bought me a few art supplies, which was nice. Where will you be two months from now? In college! Also I will be in the middle of October. What color hoodie did you wear last? Oh, geez. I haven't worn a hoodie in years... khaki with a silver dragon on it, I think. Are you alone? I'm never alone. Who did you last hang out with? Jacob and his family, last Monday. What did you do last weekend? I don't recall, sorry. Are you still best friends with the same people you were best friends with a year ago? Yes! I don't pick faves, and I consider my friends 'for life', even if they don't. I can't forget them. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Mmmost likely. XD Monster or not, I think I can make an exception. Are you crushing on someone? I don't crush. If I love someone, I don't deny it, and I'm not attracted to people on appearance! Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt? All the time, my dear. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? No. I could never. Have you ever had your heart broken? No. I am lucky enough to only have fractures all through mine. Have you ever broken someone's heart? Dear heavens, I sure hope not. Talk to any of your exes? I don't have exes, and I honestly wish I could talk to my old friends but I can't. If you could go back in time and change things, would you? Good question. I'd like to, but I don't know how badly and how severely that would change who I am... and the people I've affected. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? I don't use those terms, but I do try to be the best person I can be in every single aspect, including relationships. How many times have you really truly been in love? As in "completely?" Five times. Is anything bothering you right now? My face pain, and the fact that I'm trying to make Jacob stop blaming himself for something but I don't want to be a hypocrite. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Far too many times. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? Just a tattoo, maybe. In the future. Probably on my chest, and I'm not telling you what it says! Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back? All over the place. I always start on my back, but I don't usually doze off until I move onto my side. Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yeah. I'll tell you what, I don't know how to react! What should you say? How do you feel about chocolate covered strawberries? Chocolate is the enemy! You don't want me to get sick, hon. Are you self-conscious? Far too much so. How do you vent your anger? Used to be self-abuse. Now I just hand it over to Laurie, but if I forget to do that, I might end up yelling a little. I don't like when that happens. It's not me. How did your day start off? Woke up with a lot of face pain, then wandered off to do heaven knows what. I forget already, haha. Favorite fair food? I don't like fairs or their nasty food. Seriously. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Can you say "Jimmy Theed?" Morning or night person? Both! I'm not picky. What makes you lose your appetite? A lot of stuff. I might eat a lot if I'm nervous, but I actually have a weak appetite. I'd rather not eat if I don't have to. How do you think you look right this moment? My face is a mess. XD Beh. Last time you smiled? Just now. That last answer is pretty funny. Do people underestimate your intelligence? Hm. I think people overestimate me, actually. Favorite Superhero? I like all superheroes. I always cheer for the good guys! Are you taller than 5'5''? Yes, by three inches! Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it? Oh, all the time. I'm just too nice. Many times I let them keep it! When you want to have "you" time, what do you do? I walk off somewhere where there's not much noise, and then I just turn my Links up high. Whoever shows up shows up! Are you comfortable with answering personal questions? Usually, yes. It also depends on why this person wants the information, though. When is the last time you were truly happy with your life? I've been kind of close recently. It's nice. Who was the last person you held hands with? Just one person ever, and that was Jacob, last Tuesday. It was worth it though. When was the last time you felt confused or uncomfortable? Hm. Don't recall. I feel nervous and 'off' a lot, though. Do you make your bed every day? Usually, yes, unless I'm busy and I forget. Do you use the internet or television more? Internet. I only watch TV when I'm playing a video game system! Do you want to be in a relationship right now? I've been in at least one relationship nonstop since I was 12. I'm used to it and I love it. ^^ What person in your family are you the most like? I honestly have no clue. That's not my opinion to decide. Have you ever put anything other than cheese in your grilled cheese? Tomatoes! What are you studying in school? Art! I hope it gets me somewhere. I have much to do with it. Do your parents really know YOU? A-aha, you mean me, as in Jewel? No. They honestly don't, and I need to come out of the closet sometime soon. Did you speak to your father today? Yeah, for a little bit on the phone. It was about tomorrow's busy schedule. How many months until your birthday? About nine. What are you listening to? "Difficult To Say" from the Klonoa OST. I have my entire library on shuffle. What color is your hair? Dark brown with caramel highlights or whatever you call them. XD I still might dye it red in March. We'll see. What's bothering you right now? My faaace! What's something you wish you could understand better? Everyone and everything. I'm a total knowledge/ wisdom junkie. Have you kissed someone with braces? No I have not! When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go? I try to hold on to them, but if they don't want to stay, then I let them go and keep their memories with me. Last time you were worried? Just now, about college, and whether or not I will ever be able to have a conversation with my mother where she acts her age and doesn't insult me and I don't end up self-abusing or in tears at the end. What are you wearing? White top as mentioned earlier, light blue capris, headphones. The usual. Where did you sleep last night? On the living room couch. Have you ever been in an ambulance? No. I probably will one day, though. Whats the last thing you had to drink? Water and pills, haha. What are you doing in a few mins? Hopefully I will be sleeping so I won't hear all this yelling. Are you hungry at the moment? No. I have no appetite at all right now. Can you take a bra off with one hand? I don't care whether I can or not. That's not a skill I need. Can you use chopsticks? Why yes, I can. Do you like Oreos? I'll eat them, but I don't like sugary stuff. Do you have a brother? Three of 'em! Do you like to grocery shop? No, I don't like shopping unless it's absolutely necessary and to-the-point. What pills do you take daily? Well, with my teeth I have to take pills for swelling/ pain/ antibiotics daily, but I usually don't. Do you take out the trash? Yes. I like burning it. Last CD you listened to in the car? My CD full of Japanese Pokemon music, haha. Great stuff. What are you thinking about right now? How much my left arm hurts and how badly I wish my mom and I could get along. Wearing any bracelets? No, just a watch. Eh, that's it for tonight, kids. I'm tired and I really can't be thinking about this right now. Have a good week if I don't see you for a while, okay? ^^ -s. cannon | ||||||||
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Eh...August 13th, 2008
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Good heavens, where have I been? | ||||||||
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Bad morning.May 15th, 2008
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| Well... my life has taken a severe turn for the worse. This is not good. I might not be back here for quite a while, even though I just started posting here. My apologies. However, I won't be on LJ, IJ, Xanga, or dA either. As I said, this is a very, very hard time for me. It's getting worse, too. I won't scare you with the details, but let's simply say it's at the point where I'm praying to God at all hours of the bleak morning to just wake up from this nightmare. But I can't. This is real. I have to be thankful, though. It's not as bad as it could be, and I hope it never gets that bad. The people I love are still alive. The people I love still love me. I may be dreadfully sick right now but I'll get over it. I still have hope. I still have hope, do you hear me? I refuse to let this crush me, no matter how broken my glass heart is right now! I have to much to live for, even if I am a failure. And for those reasons For those hopes For those lives I will stay alive I will keep my hope I will not give in At any cost. I can do better. Somehow, but I can. Love you guys. Hope your lives are going well. See you when I get back. -s. cannon | ||||||||
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what do I do now?May 5th, 2008
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| I do indeed like this place. Yes indeed. Looking for a more 'obscure' journal place in which to rant, and I found one! Thank you Scribbld. Gosh it's going to take me ages to type that without an e. Oh well. That's life. I still find it highly insulting that NO ONE ELSE HERE has Bionicle, ELO, Bakura, Marik, or Chaos Zero listed as an interest. What the unholy fish. That is not nice. Hm... Well, nothing else to rant about except for the fact that my mother left chocolate out where I could see it and being the stressed out idiot that I am I had a bite of it BUT unfortunately I have a sugar intolerance or something so I got quite sick and still am. Darn this stress. Geez. Oh yes and I've been listening to that "Dreams Dreams" remix I wrote for my muse on eternal loop while I finish up that term paper... there are so many note clashes in the cello chords that I missed! Good heavens that's terrible. I'll have to finish ranting about... um... *checks report*... about the gradual disintegration of authority and civil order in Lord of the Flies and all that. Id domination and the like. Dont you know. Freud I said LEAVE ME ALONE I want to sleep. I've been up for... *counts* ...29 hours straight. I think that's a new record. So yes. Enough of that for now. As I said, busy busy busy. See you around! -S. Cannon | ||||||||||||
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Usagi can't have sugar.
chances are i'm half awake
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