So I've been reading history.

The Wars of the Roses, by Kat, age 5

RICHARD II: Wheee! I can has a throne of England!

HENRY LANCASTER: You suck! *yoink*

RICHARD II: Woe. I cannot has a throne of England. :(

HENRY IV: You cannot has a life, either.

RICHARD II: *dies*

HENRY IV: Bwahaha! I am king! I am-- *dies*

HENRY V: Bwahaha! I am king! I am-- *dies*

HENRY VI: ...I am king?

YORK: You suck! *tries to yoink*

HENRY VI: Nuh-uh! *hangs on*

YORK: Yuh-huh!

HENRY VI: Nuh-uhhhhhhh!

YORK: Yuh-huuuuuuuuh.

*continue, exactly like this, for thirty years*

HENRY TUDOR: Oh. My. God. Shut. Up!

BATTLE OF BOSWORTH FIELD: *kills everyone who isn't Henry Tudor*

HENRY TUDOR, now HENRY VII: Anyone else wanna argue?

EVERYONE ELSE: *meekly shakes head*