Take a look at this cover. That is A Civil Campaign, one of the more recent books in the Miles Vorkosigan saga. Looks like an okay cover, doesn't it? Kind of cheesy, but hey.

Now realize that the couple in the center is meant to be Miles and Ekatarin. Now remember that Miles Vorkosigan is four foot nine. Now remember that Miles should therefore be on an eye level with Ekatarin's breasts and thus looking at them far more obviously. As if that's possible.

Also remember that neither Ekatarin nor Cordelia is blonde, but that's neither here nor there (black-haired and redhead, respectively, in case you're curious. Even more egregious because "roan-red hair" is one of Cordelia's stock descriptions).

Holy whore house? And here I thought Dan Brown had the weirdest take on Mary Magdalene.

Anyone brave enough to download the prologue and give it a read? For science, my friends, for science!

Goddamnit, universe! Just once I'd like to keep a good sulk instead of getting it ruined by Neil Patrick Harris looking very dapper indeed. And singing about shoes.

1) I have new headphones! The old ones fell apart in my ear. It was most distressing. Fortunately, they were still under warranty and the nice guy at the Apple store took my word for it, so I have new ones for free! *cuddles new headphones* I also had a fun conversation with him.

Me: Hi. My headphones fell apart. It is most distressing.
Guy: Whoa. They really did. Well, let me take a look and see why they fell apart.
Me: I did nothing unusual to them. I was only listening to music and they fell apart.
Guy: Would you raise your right hand and repeat that?
Me: Sure, but I haven't got a Bible, just Oscar Wilde.
Guy: Close enough!

2) Speaking of Oscar Wilde, I am reading some of his plays. I just got through Salome (very strange, not at all like Wilde's usual tongue-in-cheek humor. Has some lovely language, though, and it must be pretty visually stunning) and The Importance of Being Earnest (one of my favorite plays ever and always worth a reread), and am currently in the middle of Lady Windermere's Fan. I'm also reading Mary Called Magdelane, another of Margaret George's bricks; Predators, Prey and Other Kinfolk, a memoir of growing up in a polygamist family; and The Serpent's Shadow. If I continue reading books at this rate, my books-read list for July will move into three pages. New record.

3) Got more work done on Glass. I think this seperating it out into different POV files and writing it that way is extremely helpful. I may have to give up my flashbacks from Gabi's POV idea, but we'll see how the rest of them turn out. I may rewrite them from Lionel's POV to leave them in. I've decided that, because Gabi is at the center of everything, I should maybe leave her a bit of a mystery. After all, her nonresponsiveness or her simple absence is a huge part of all the plots. So, I shall discuss with my co-author and we shall see.

4) Deposited my paycheck. YAY MONEY.

5) I kind of want to cosplay as Sarah Jane Smith. I may even just put a costume together and be her for Halloween. 'Cause, well, she's awesome, and I think her waistcoat-and-shirt look would be really flattering to my figure. Plus, I want those boots. Well, who doesn't?

6) I have been falling behind on my RPing lately and I do not know why. It's like I sit down to do it and my brain goes "HA no. Fuck off down the model village." Then I am confused as to why my brain is quoting Hot Fuzz out of context when all I want to do is knock off a decent post so my RPing partners don't hate me. V. sad. Please be understanding.

7) I am dying for lack of fluff. I've been writing Kyrie and Glass and Glass's prequel lately, all the angsty bits with people dancing around things they don't want to say, and I just want to read something silly and sweet and fluffy, goddamnit. It probably doesn't help that all the active relationships in my RPs are a) in the awkward morning-after stage, b) in the awkward holy-shit-did-I-really-just-say-that stage, c) both a and b, d) in the awkward goddamnit-do-I-have-to-tattoo-it-on-my-forehead stage, or e) in the awkward I-really-like-you-but-this-can't-work-for-outside-reasons-so-I'll-just-keep-my-mouth-shut stage. I want to read or write something where people are in love, full stop. Can someone prompt me, please? Any fandom I'm familiar with except Avatar, or original.

8) Speaking of prompts! Is anyone interested in an X-files/Doctor Who oneshot? I've had one percolating, and I have a beta on the line, but I don't know if anyone would be interested in reading something with Six and Samantha. Other possibilities include finally finishing my gorram Christmas fics (July is a new record), finishing up my Mulder/Scully fanmix (I think I need to see the movie again first), trying my hand at that one NaNo novel again, finishing and then rewriting Confidence (or maybe I could just skip to the rewrite?), or just watching Doctor Who until my brain liquifies. That last option is looking better all the time.

I now have a recording of "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend."

Sung by Yzma.

CANNOT. STOP. LAUGHING.

It was pointed out to me today that I have a nickname for every single horse in my stables. So, for your edification and entertainment, some of the more colorful ones:

Crouching Moron Hidden Batshit, Psychopath, Alfeazle or just Feazle, Li'l Thang I, II, and III, Bitchpony, Bratpony, Grand Old Lady (this mare's nickname varies between that and "Evelyn," actually; Sixth Doctor fans will know why), Fuzzyface, Mr. Nibbles, Loverboy, Babydoll, Ladybird, Boo, Theney-Boo, Pickadiddle, Trubs, Dinosaur, General Lee (or "Richard Henry Lee," depending on whether I've watched Gettysburg or 1776 more recently), Big'n'Dumb, Qubert, Uglyface, Spaztastic, Hanky Panky (also occasionally known as "Grand Pimpmaster" and "Iroh"), and You Bastard.

I love my job.

Title: Special Discount
Fandom: Firefly
Spoilers: Ain't a one.
Rating: PG
Summary: Jayne. Kaylee. Shopping. Drabble and a half. Puck done it.

( PUCK DID THIS. )

Bloody Chris.
Some observations whilst waiting for him to shut up.

1) Ian totally said "fuck" in a children's show on public TV in 1963. That's hardcore, yo.

2) My Ian/Barbara ficathon entry is on crack. CRACK I TELL YOU.

3) Hey, it's a silver box! We don't know what it is, it could be a bomb. LET'S POKE IT WITH A STICK.

4) TheDoctor uses Logic! It is very successful! Seriously, Ten, you used to be sensible back when you were One. Hell, you were smart and tricksy as late as Nine. WTF happened?

To be added to as I think of it.
Also, I won't be on tomorrow night; going to see Sweeney Todd with Lauren Molina (aka Elaine on WW). Awesome? I THINK SO.

Being inexplicably awake after a 2-3 hour sleep, being sick, and being rather down about my fanfiction lately, I decided to turn my attention to my original fiction and try to sell some stuff. I've queried a "West Coast authors only" zine as to whether I count as West Coast with an eye to trying to sell them "Four for a Birth," and have currently submitted "Shadows" to a zine I've sold to before and liked (though I'm not wild about their manuscript policies. Seriously, guys, everyone else takes standard manuscript format. Why you hating?), and "Blood Ties" to a new zine with a nine-month response time. I'm serious. I could get pregnant right now and have the kid before they would tell me whether they accepted it or not. *grumble*

Needless to say, I submitted that last one before I noticed the response time...

But anyway. Next up, betaing something I said I'd beta a while back, that just needs my comments written up proper and I can send it back to its mommy. After that, see if I can't do some writing of my own. After that, hopefully I'll be tired enough to sleep some more.

If not, I can think about this job offer some more and decide whether I want to take it. It would basically be one or two creative nonfiction stories a month (approximately two thousand words at the most), writing up what amounts to human interest stories. I have to admit, I'm not real wild about the job (or the pay rate; I'd be getting paid about a buck a story, maybe), but it would give me a chance to polish up my mad writing skillz, and I do need money. I just don't know if I need it that much.

I'll do my Chinese homework sometime in the morning. I hope.

ETA: Randomly? Kyrie is stuck at exactly 6666 words.
I did not do this on purpose.

( Perspectives )

X-files Mulder and Scully UST
( My Squire and My Lady )

An amusing incident:
( Incident )

Slight AU Dresden Files pastfic.
( Fellow Feeling )